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Desperate plea for help

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Old 09-15-2006, 10:21 PM   #1
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Default Desperate plea for help

I lost 86 pounds in this last year. This summer, I gained 30 back. I haven't changed my ticker... I just can't... I was on a very strict diet and felt wonderful, but I couldn't keep up the eating healthy. I jumped off the wagon, in a small way at first, then as weight starting showing up, I jumped off completely.

I can't seem to get it through my head how great I felt when I was eating healthy. How great it felt to be thinner. How much comfortable I felt in my body. Now all those horrible aches and pains are coming back... <big sigh>

I need success stories. How people did it by eating better and exercising. I need encouragement in a bad way. Please, help....
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Old 09-15-2006, 10:43 PM   #2
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The good new is, you lost 56lbs!!! That's still great.

Truth be told, I'm struggling still too. Whilst I haven't taken a gain, I haven't lost much at all this year, 5 pounds mainly. My body doesn't seem to know what to do to lose it anymore.

I think some people do have to be a lot more strict than others, and I think I'm one of those, unfotunately.

What did work for me, and what I am trying again is staying completely on plan for 7 weeks, then having a relaxed week, where I can have a couple of treats over the space of the week, then go back to being "angelic" for 7 weeks again. This worked for me last year.

Try not to be too hard on yourself............if you haven't check out the wholefood lifestyle threads http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/whole-foods-lifestyle-209/ to remind yourself of all the yummy things you can be eating!
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Old 09-16-2006, 12:30 AM   #3
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Good for you at realizing what is happening now - better 30lbs gained then 87! I hope you can find the support you need here. We all have our struggles with this but it is helpful to know you're not the only one.

p.s. I totally get the ticker thing! ;-)
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Old 09-16-2006, 07:32 AM   #4
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You said you were "very strict" but couldn't keep up with it. I am finding that if this is going to be a lifestyle then it's going to have to be something I can keep doing forever.

Of course, where that point is may be different for everyone and may shift some over time and circumstance. Finding the balance of eating healthy and exercising, while still living the life you want to live -- that takes a while to figure out!!!

I'm more than a year into this new lifestyle and have lost a lot of weight. I was quite strict the first year. I did allow myself indulgences, but quite rarely. I have noticed that starting this summer that I was rebelling a bit against that strictness. So, I am in the process of allowing myself to ease up a bit more... but to still be able to lose some weight. In some ways, being more strict was easy. I just said "No" to most treats and avoided a number of social occasions. But I don't want to do that forever!

Finding that balance point will be, I think, an ongoing endeavor for me. But when I started this journey I not only wanted to lose weight and be healthier, I wanted to be able to DO more and be more comfortable in social situations. But those social situations might involve going out for a drink with colleagues (okay, yes, a little beer...) or going to parties (a small piece of cake)... I will have to be vigilant forever, but that doesn't mean I have to say no to everything, everyday...

One thing I still do is write down everything I eat for the day -- even the stuff I wish I hadn't. I find it helps me stay accountable and "honest" with myself.

Okay, I got lost in my head there and don't even know if I'm on topic anymore!!!!!!!
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Old 09-16-2006, 07:52 AM   #5
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It is good that you caught yourself in the gain so that you can stop it and reverse it. I agree that you may need to look for how to change your lifestyle permanently rather than temporarily. I recently posted that I'm at the 100 lb loss mark. I posted my story so far into the mini-goals section. Basics is that it took me a couple tries and phases in order to get to 100 lbs gone. I don't feel deprived but I know I have to eat foods that nourish my body and support my weight loss. I also know that I need to burn calories through exercise. Gaining 30 lbs isn't failure, its a learning experience.
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Old 09-16-2006, 08:59 AM   #6
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Don't sweat the small stuff! You are still down 56 pounds!!! That is wonderful. Also, do allow yourself a treat. I still work in some chocolate or something sweet and sinful into my calorie count almost everyday!
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Old 09-16-2006, 09:18 AM   #7
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I love how Nelie framed this -- a learning experience! She's right! We need to learn how to do this right for us, and it often doesn't click on the first, second, third try!

To learn from it, ask yourself what happened to send you off the wagon in the first place -- too restrictive? lifestyle change??? Equally important: can you figure out how to stay on plan now??
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Old 09-16-2006, 10:15 AM   #8
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Hello and glad you are back. Hey you are still down 56 pounds.

I did "catch" that you were on a very strict diet and couldn't keep up with it. That is understandable. Why not try just a lifestyle change of healthful eating and exercise... NOT so strict and something you can live with? That is what I have done and it is really working well.

Hey, we all fall off the wagon sometimes... but just jump right back on and try again! Go for it!!!
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Old 09-16-2006, 12:39 PM   #9
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I agree with wyllen and misti, you really have to do something that you can stick with for the rest of your life, a "diet" and exercise combo that you can live with forever. That is how I have done it. Sometimes I am more strict about what I eat than other times, it varies, day to day, week to week, month to month, but overall I am eating "better" than I used to and taking in at least a bit more exercise than before.
That's why when some people post "20 days of healthy eating!" it is like, ok, great, but don't you want to stick with this for the rest of your life? In that case you can't very well go around thinking "Wow! This is my 2,829 day of healthy eating!" you would drive yourself mad!
When you accept that this is your life, then you can move on and not obsess over a diet regime all the time.

Also, keep in mind that you are still a success, 56lbs off is 56lbs off!!
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Old 09-16-2006, 04:40 PM   #10
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You guys rock. You're right. I need to find a healthy way of eating, that isn't going to make me crazy. Before, I had no slip ups for six months, very, very strict and then gradually I just got tired of it.

Your encouragement has helped and now I've got a plan. I'm going to start doing the cardio more and allow myself treats every once in a while. I work at a ranch so the muscle tone is definetely there, but I have virtually no cardio built into my routine, even though I do walk a lot.

Thanks again, everybody! Big, big hugs to all of you. :-)
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Old 09-17-2006, 09:40 PM   #11
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I also think it's so important to realize it's more than just the food, it's our behavioral patterns that, for me at least, are long-time patterns. I think you should really celebrate that your awareness stopped you before all of your weight was back. I'm trying to be really gentle with myself. I'm being firm, but kind to myself realizing my issues with food have been around for a long time. Sometimes I think to myself - what would I tell a really good friend who has been really trying to change and she has a slip up. I'd be supportive and encourage her to keep on moving.
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Old 09-18-2006, 12:33 AM   #12
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Behavior change is hard! Don't beat yourself up over "backtracking," that's how we learn. Keep at it, you'll do fine. And I agree with everyone else, part of the challenge is making changes gradually, and not making changes you can't "live with" indefinitely. If you lose weight by ways other than how you intend to keep the weight off, it'll be 1000 times more difficult than if you lose it by developing habits you can keep for a lifetime.
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Old 09-18-2006, 10:13 AM   #13
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I lost 83 lbs 2 years ago, then got pregnant and regained all +30! I am now working on it again. The weight creeped back on, just as you described, and once I got preg. I had a free meal ticket to every buffet in town. Now I pay the price.

You on the other hand, still have 56 lbs down! That's still a great number! You can do this by modifying your lifestyle to include healthy choices, just as the others said. I lost a lot quick last time.. Now, I'm going slower because I know this will stick and it is something that I can live with forever. I just know you can do it. Take your time. It will happen. We're all pulling for you!
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Old 09-20-2006, 12:22 PM   #14
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Thanks so much for your kind words. It's such a blessing to hear from others who have been there.
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Old 09-21-2006, 03:52 PM   #15
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I think most of us have done that... had some part of success and let it slide through our fingers. You're not alone. In a few years I dropped from 270 to 220 and back upto 301.

The good news is although it sucks to relose the pounds you CAN do it. You know what success looks and FEELS like! If you could do it before you can certainly do it again you know how to make it work! They key is stop thinking of it as a temporary fix and make the changes part of your life.

I don't have a success story to share as I am still on my way to where I was before and this time I will reach goal, but I will tell you this. I've been doing this for 4 months now and I think that's longer then I've ever been able to keep this us. It's just a mental shift. It's something I HAVE to do, and I WILL get there and not only get there but STAY there. I already feel successful though and because of my exercise levels I feel much much healthier then I did when I was this weight last time.

It's a matter of being firm with yourself, and working the knowledge you already have. You CAN do it!
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