Long time, no see...I hope everyone is well. As for me...I've been struggling a little bit lately. Last week....we spent the whole week up north with my parents and grandma. We had such a marvelous time.....fishing, shopping, relaxing,etc. Ohh...I forgot eating.....we ate a lot....well..I did anyways. I got home and stepped on the scale and was at 167...yeeek. I figured a lot of it would be waterweight gain....so I stepped on today and am down to 163..which I'm ok with.
BUT...the problem is that even now that I'm home....I can't stop eating...ugggghhh!!!! I can just feel myself whirlwinding into my old eating habits...and it scares me!!! I think earlier this summer...I stayed on track because I had all these fun things to do and I wanted to look good for them. Now that all the fun summer things are over....I feel depressed...and eating for comfort and fun has once again become the focus. It's so stupid though....I want to be thin to look good...but I also want to be healthy...that's really the most important part...right?
I'm also bumming because I'm done with my Lupron shot now..(for my endometriosis). Lupron basically puts you in pseudo menopause while your on it....therefore I spent a good share of the summer with no excrutiating periods...(which is a plus). Now..I can feel the lupron wearing off and I'm starting to get the same old pains back...which is really depressing to me. Lupron isn't a drug that you can be on for extended periods of time...otherwise..I think I'd just live on it. My gyn. said if things get bad again...he would strongly consider another surgery to clean out the endometrioisis/adhesions...ugggghhhh. Endometriosis is horrible...and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. The pain, meds, surgeries, etc....have pretty much dominated my life for 10 years plus.
Anyways....I guess I just needed to vent on a few things. I will try my hardest to get back on track....I"m so close to goal......I don't understand how things snowballed out of control so badly all of a sudden. I think part of me is feeling "comfortable" with my weight right now. People at work say "you don't plan on losing anymore, do you?" I think I use that as a cushion....u know? I can't be doing that though. Healthy eating and exercise are going to have to be a part of my life forever...from here on out...I'm just going to have to face that fact.
Ok..enough babbling......thanks for listening. Oh....I'll include a couple of pics from our trip. One is me and my 21 inch walleye...(my dad was so poud). And another is a beautiful sunrise over the lake......I could get used to the "lake life" pretty easily!!!!