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roundRN 09-07-2006 01:02 PM

Having a hard time getting back on track...
 
2 Attachment(s)
Hey all....

Long time, no see...I hope everyone is well. As for me...I've been struggling a little bit lately. Last week....we spent the whole week up north with my parents and grandma. We had such a marvelous time.....fishing, shopping, relaxing,etc. Ohh...I forgot eating.....we ate a lot....well..I did anyways. I got home and stepped on the scale and was at 167...yeeek. I figured a lot of it would be waterweight gain....so I stepped on today and am down to 163..which I'm ok with.

BUT...the problem is that even now that I'm home....I can't stop eating...ugggghhh!!!! I can just feel myself whirlwinding into my old eating habits...and it scares me!!! I think earlier this summer...I stayed on track because I had all these fun things to do and I wanted to look good for them. Now that all the fun summer things are over....I feel depressed...and eating for comfort and fun has once again become the focus. It's so stupid though....I want to be thin to look good...but I also want to be healthy...that's really the most important part...right?

I'm also bumming because I'm done with my Lupron shot now..(for my endometriosis). Lupron basically puts you in pseudo menopause while your on it....therefore I spent a good share of the summer with no excrutiating periods...(which is a plus). Now..I can feel the lupron wearing off and I'm starting to get the same old pains back...which is really depressing to me. Lupron isn't a drug that you can be on for extended periods of time...otherwise..I think I'd just live on it. My gyn. said if things get bad again...he would strongly consider another surgery to clean out the endometrioisis/adhesions...ugggghhhh. Endometriosis is horrible...and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. The pain, meds, surgeries, etc....have pretty much dominated my life for 10 years plus.

Anyways....I guess I just needed to vent on a few things. I will try my hardest to get back on track....I"m so close to goal......I don't understand how things snowballed out of control so badly all of a sudden. I think part of me is feeling "comfortable" with my weight right now. People at work say "you don't plan on losing anymore, do you?" I think I use that as a cushion....u know? I can't be doing that though. Healthy eating and exercise are going to have to be a part of my life forever...from here on out...I'm just going to have to face that fact.

Ok..enough babbling......thanks for listening. Oh....I'll include a couple of pics from our trip. One is me and my 21 inch walleye...(my dad was so poud). And another is a beautiful sunrise over the lake......I could get used to the "lake life" pretty easily!!!!

Hugs,
Liv

famograham 09-07-2006 01:38 PM

Wow Olivia....looks like I could get used to lake life pretty easily too!!! What gorgeous pics!

I'm so sorry that you are struggling. But, now you are home, you can get back to your regular routine...get your groove back, so to speak :lol:

It only takes one successful day to get you back on track...I know this because I'm back on track now too, and the first day (Monday Aug 28th) was so damned difficult to get through...but now I am fine.

You are so close, and I KNOW you can do this...just get through that first day and it will remind you how strong you are, OK?

:hug:
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
Linda

midwife 09-07-2006 02:01 PM

With endometriosis, sometimes it can be helpful to suppress cycles. Have you talked to your gyn about a mirena iud?

roundRN 09-07-2006 02:16 PM

Linda....thanks so much for the sweet comments......you're right...it just takes one day of doing well to help me get back on track.....I just need to get thru that one day first...lol...yeeek. I can do it.....thanks :)

Midwife....thanks for the suggestion.....I would be all for the iud....but....we plan to start trying to conceive again soon......so the iud is out. That's why my gyn has suggested a "clean out" surgery...in hopes to quiet things, get rid of adhesions, put ovaries back in place,etc.....yeek....in preparation for ttc again.... :)

Hugs,
Liv

midwife 09-07-2006 04:46 PM

Ha ha! I guess an iud would preclude those plans!! Good luck getting back on task. Sometimes for me it is a matter of just controlling the next 5 minutes. "For the next five minutes, I will (drink 8 oz of water) (do pushups) or whatever and then I am back in the on-plan mood!


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