[beautifulone]

Yes, the more I lose, the bigger I feel! And the "fatter" I guess. Has anyone else felt this way?

I've lost somewhere between 25-30 lbs by now but I don't feel comfortable in believing that I've lost that weight because I haven't been exercising nearly as much as I would have liked to. Along with that, I've had a hard time eating enough (in terms of cals/fat/nutrients) so I wonder if my loss isn't my body losing lbs but not actually losing fat, which is what I actually want. Plus, because I haven't been exercising as much - could some of the scale loss be due to muscle loss? Not that I had built up much muscle... but still? Maybe I'm feeling bigger because I haven't been exercising?? I'm not sure.

And to answer a possible question, I haven't been restricting my food intake or trying to deprive myself of food to lose weight, but I've been struggling with getting my meals in around an erratic schedule. In addition to that, I've been feeling anxious/stressed, and I think I react with food... whereas sometimes I would overeat in response to that.. these days I'm doing the opposite without actually intending to. I've been trying to eat better, trying to be more organized and be more attentive to making sure I eat all of my meals and snacks, get enough water, and all of that wonderful stuff - it's working but it is taking some time.

[mthrgoos68]

I think that when we're heavier, we try not to pay too much attention to our bodies and how they look and feel. As we begin to lose, we start paying attention to our bodies, and the differences in it. I think it's probably that you're just becoming more aware of your body. It sounds like you're doing a great job, and not eating in response to stress is a huge accomplishment! Keep up the great work!

[rockinrobin]

Originally Posted by mthrgoos68

I think that when we're heavier, we try not to pay too much attention to our bodies and how they look and feel. As we begin to lose, we start paying attention to our bodies, and the differences in it. I think it's probably that you're just becoming more aware of your body. It

Before I even read mthrgoos response, that was more or less what I was going to say. Yes, I also have felt bigger lately. And I have come to the conclusion it is because for the first time in a loooong time, I am truly aware of how my body looks. I basically didn't care much how I looked before.
I mean I would stay hidden under my clothing and not want to deal with my body. Now I'm constantly looking for improvements and changes. I'm always checking my clothing now to see if there's any changes and all of a sudden I can't stop looking in the mirror. I am anxious to see changes in my body and am obsessing about it a bit much. But I kind of see this as a good thing. It pushes me to stay with my new healthy habits.

It sounds like you've made some great changes in your life and you should be so proud. Keep up the good work.

[NurseMichelle]

Ya know what gets me? Is when you think of what OTHER people are thinking of you---like since now I feel confident and wear sexier clothes---and I wonder if people think "wow a girl her size wearing THAT!" But to me it's like, hey, I had to lose almost 80 pounds to get to THIS! I actually kinda like my body, but I do notice my big round butt in the mirror, and it bothers me more NOW, since at one time I was just a big round blob of dough, now we feel more shapely and hate the parts that still seem big to us. Like right now I really like my chest and waist, and legs but I hate my arms and hips and bottom. So it looks all out of proportion and exaggeratedly big.

Did any of that make any sense? I think the rest of our bodies/minds will catch up, though I'm not trying to reach some unattainable goal body, but I hear ya, "fed", we just notice more now. We used to be one unit, one amorphous shape and now we're trying to chisel ourselves free and our minds just aren't there yet. LOL enough mindless rambling. I do understand what you're saying though. I bet you're a total hottie anyway!

[Jasmine31]

Hey Nurse we have similiar stats! I agree with alot of what you said. I wonder the same thing sometimes.

Beautifulone I was also feeling the same as you the other day, I do get enough to eat however. But it seemed like I "felt" skinnier when i hit 235 than now that I have hit 215! I know I can look at pics and I will know I am much thinner now but I think it had to do with me being plateaud at 242 for so long, months! So that when I finally got to 235 it was huge! Ya know? Now I am steadily losing 1.5 to 2 pounds a week and like Nurse I see alot of improvement but I still see annoying areas! I just want the rest of this belly to hurry and come off!!

I also have realized over the course of my life alot of times when(growing up) I thought I was humongous, I wasn't! I just had literally a few extra pounds on me. But the chick standing next to me was "petite" so guess what? I felt like enormous standing next to someone like that. Alot of this stuff is just in our heads!

[sept15lija]

I totally feel the same way! I am so much more critical of myself now than I was before...and like people have said I know it's all because I am paying much more attention. Before, I thought I was OK with my body shape but it was because I was in denial most of the time about how truly big I was (and still am!). Now that I am losing, I am getting impatient. I want to fit comfortably into 18's (and then 16's...14's...)! I want to shop at normal stores! I'm working hard at suppressing that feeling though, I don't want to get frustrated with that so early in my journey.

[howie6267]

I've not felt the way you are feeling exactly. However I've eating one bad meal and felt like I gained 50 lbs. It's funny the way our minds work. I can be eating healthy for one day and feel thin but then let me be bad for one meal and I feel 50 lbs heavier. Just keep going and your mind will work things out.

[beautifulone]

I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way!

I think I actually recognize myself as looking smaller (generally) when I look in the mirror, not by much but a bit - and I'll take all the little bits I get! . I think that when I look at my body when it's not covered by clothes, that's when I don't see much of a difference except in my lower stomach (it was beginning to "hang" because of how much fat I had.. now it's kinda perky! )

NurseMichelle: I know what you mean, we work so hard and are so proud of the changes that we have created yet someone can look at us, and without knowing of the progress we are making, can think or say: "why would that person be wearing that, or not exercising more, or eating that, etc". Let's say we go out to a restaurant and are treating ourselves to something like desert, which we may not have had for a long time... someone might think: "well that person wouldn't be so fat if they just cut out those deserts", without even acknowledging that they don't know how many deserts we have a day or whether or not our bodies have changed. That's why it's so important not to assume things or judge people.. because we never know.

Congratulations on the 80 lb loss, it is amazing and inspiring!!

I actually kinda like my body - I love that!!, but I do notice my big round butt in the mirror, and it bothers me more NOW, since at one time I was just a big round blob of dough,

that makes so much sense.

Jasmine: "I also have realized over the course of my life alot of times when(growing up) I thought I was humongous, I wasn't!" - I can relate, I grew up feeling very fat.. and now that I think back, I felt incredibly fat at 170 lbs which made me overweight but nothing compared to what I thought of myself!

sept15lija: I too am in denial... I think I still don't see myself as large as I am. I think this is a blessing though - I'm working to lose the weight, so as long as I am doing something about it, I think I would rather not know at the moment because it would drive me wild with impatience and I would probably feel very upset

Howie: I think it's the eating... isn't that strange. Like one meal or too much in one meal and I feel like I have literally gained weight. But I also feel that way in general, and then I step on the scale and I've lost yet again. Strange.

[melsfolly]

I haven't felt that way...until now!