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Emotional Eaters Out There??

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Old 01-29-2006, 05:29 AM   #1
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Unhappy Emotional Eaters Out There??

I never really saw it in myself before but I am an emotional eater. I guess I tried to hide it or it just came to the surface because I have been really trying to turn my eating habits around. I had so much stress this week with TOM I went on a 24 hour feeding frenzy that would of scared a shark away. I was overwhelmed and tried to please other people instead of letting myself win out. I feel ashamed. I went to the school brunch and munched away on all this lousy food. I want to do better but I feel like there is another person inside me out to sabotage my moves. This other person overtakes me and wins out! Am I going crazy? How do you stop emotional eating when you know it is a problem? Mine seems to possess me and overtake me to the point I have no clue what I am doing. I feel like I am sick mentally because of it.
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Old 01-29-2006, 06:37 AM   #2
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Hey if you are crazy so are lots of us! The things that worked with me were becoming conscious of when I was overeating. If you notice it then its harder to continue doing it. Second try to stop and figure out what has upset you. Try to sort that out then you'll feel less desire to eat.

Then try and work out other ways to get these emotions out. Plan ahead. Say you know a person who always makes you feel awful and this makes you eat. Well go through what options you have for dealing with that...you could never see them again, you could talk to them and explain that they upset you, you could imagine them sat naked on a toilet..that tends to make them less scary!

You're learnt that the best way to deal with emotions is to eat. Now you know that isn't the best way so try a few others. The fact that you know you are doing it is a big step. Getting annoyed with yourself is just going to make you eat more so maybe that should be the first thing you think about...how can you deal with that feeling in a positive way rather than eat?
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Old 01-29-2006, 06:38 AM   #3
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I believe you have just met your enemy welcome to your "inner fat chick". You are not crazy, we all have her.

She knaws at you, sometimes worse than others "you are fine the way you are, you really just want to eat anything you like at the buffet table, it really won't do you any harm", "what's wrong with staying the way you are, your boyfriend loves you, you're working, you're fine, don't worry about losing weight"

That's what mine says anyway, oh and she doesn't really like exercise, or getting up early in the morning, and she really hates the gym at night after work.

You have to tell her to shut up, you're in control now. You have the desire and ability to lose weight. And she just needs to get with the program or shut up!

The battle with weight loss isn't waged at the gym, or the dinner table, or the fridge, the battle is in your head, and this is where you either win or you lose.

My money is on you winning!
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Old 01-29-2006, 07:18 AM   #4
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I second everything Kylie just wrote, my thoughts exactly! You are not crazy, you are human. This is one of the very aspects that sets us apart from the naturally skinny chicks of the world. They don't have the uniquely special privilege, reserved just for us fat chicks, of walking around with some incessant little voice in their heads driving them to throw down on a pan of brownies each time they hit one of life's little bumps in the road. It may not be fair, but we are different, and this is one of the very real problems that we, as fat chicks, must learn to manage and deal with if we hope to sustain a lasting lifestyle change. At least now you realize the connection, and can begin to work on uncovering your triggers and practicing some "non-food" coping mechanisms. Take care sweetie, and remember, you are definitely not alone!

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Old 01-29-2006, 07:35 AM   #5
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You are not alone. I have the same problem and like you I really get going at that TOM. Like you I am just coming off a major binge and am feeling discouraged. I feel as if I have regained a lot of weight. The only thing that has helped me a bit has been to do a food journal on Fitday and use a calendar to get an idea of when I tend to binge. There does seem to be a pattern and I hope that since I am now more aware of it I will be able to get some more control going. On the plus side I can say for a fact my binges are much less common than they were a few years back. I don't however seem "over it" enough to gain any serious weight loss. I am sick to tears of gaining and losing the same 10 lbs over and over.
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Old 01-29-2006, 12:24 PM   #6
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emotional eaters out there?
It's great that you realize, you eat because of emotions
I have just started this journey, after gaining back 80 pounds.
Now that you know what triggers you.
It' may be easier to refocus.
congradulations on all your success.that's really wonderful
all of you.
and 190 pounds gone forever is a major victory.
just as 5 pounds.mookie-bren
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Old 01-29-2006, 06:06 PM   #7
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No, you are not crazy. I h avent been overeating lately, but I have gone crazy with shopping. It's all an emotional fix. Good that you recognize it and now you can do something about it!!!
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Old 01-29-2006, 10:30 PM   #8
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I can so relate to much of what you ladies have written. I have dealt with binge eating for as long as I can remember. I always felt like I was defective, that I was the only one. Through alot of therapy and loving support from my family I have come to grips with much of why I think I suffered so much. Also, thru therapy came the realization that alot of what I was feeling had to do with that I had been suffering with Bi-polar,OCD and ADD.

Like Mookie, I too have managed to regain 80 pounds that I'd worked hard to lose, and am beginning this journey again. This time armed with knowledge about myself and how to handle situations when I feel that urge to binge. I have found my spirit to win again.

I'm confident that I can succeed this time, especially with support like this! I'm so glad that I stumbled onto this site, I have found a wealth of information that I know will help me along this journey.

Best of luck to all you ladies(and gents) on the journey for our lives.
We deserve this!
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Old 01-30-2006, 02:37 AM   #9
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Danielle, my husband was just diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. He has gained a huge amount of weight in a very short time. I was just curious, are you taking medication? I know that is a personal question, but I am really trying to find people to talk to who can help me understand.

I'm not sure if my husband is emotional eating or it's the meds making his weight shoot up so much. It's very possible that it is both. He's very very uncomfortable in his overweight body and is having a hard time understanding how just 2 months ago he was 50 lbs lighter. He's pushing 270 now is terrified of getting close to 300lbs.

I know that emotions and meds aren't the only things that are doing it but it sure would be nice to know from someone else who has been through it to explain it to me.

A big thumbs up to you Danielle for taking control of your life when sometimes life can just keep beating you down.
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Old 01-30-2006, 07:19 AM   #10
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I also cave to food peer pressure. I caved today. I went out for lunch instead of eating what I brought. Geez.............
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Old 01-30-2006, 08:15 AM   #11
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Dolly, I am a little late to this posting, but I will second everything that everyone else has also posted. I will always be the emotional eater (boredom, stress, happy, sad, I think you get the picture). The thing I have learned is to learn the cues that set me off in the first place. If I am having a bad day, I try (not always) to go to the gym and beat the nasty feelings away. If that is not possible, I try to distract myself before I go into my binge mode. You certainly descibed it exactly, once you get into that feeding frenzy, I don't surface until everything is gone. The best thing I have done for myself is to not set myself up for failure. It sounds trite and easier to say than it is to do, but at least in my home it has worked for me. All I can say is keep at, , sometimes the "inner fat girl" will win and sometimes you will. You will find as you keep going it will get easier.
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Old 01-30-2006, 01:38 PM   #12
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I'm sorry to hear that your husband is having a bit of a rough patch.

And no, I don't mind sharing with you anything if it will help.
I first started with an anti-depressant to see if this would help with the feelings that I'd been having. After a couple months on this(it does take awhile to figure out which meds work for you and to allow time to titrate up to a dose that is effective) I was put on Lamictal which is a mood stabalizer which is very common for people with bi-polar. It has worked great for me, but again, it does take weeks(sometimes months) to find your dosage,etc). From things I've read I don't believe that weight-gain is a side affect for this Rx. However, everyone reacts differently, so it's pretty much a trial & error situation.

What sort of Rx is your DH on? Does he go to therapy or did he receive medication from your GP? Bi-Polar is hard to diagnose since it can manifest itself in a myriad of other disorders. Did the weight-gain occur after taking medication only? Does he feel relief from the Rx he's taking? If he's not comfortable with it, don't be afraid to tell the dr. and request to try something different! If the dr. won't listen, go to someone else who will. Unfortunately we have to be extremely diligent with our diagnosis, so it's important that you have someone who will really listen to you. Especially because medication can be costly(especially if there's no insurance) and your time is valuable. It's important that whoever he's seeing shares this same view.

There are many different mood stabalizers out there, and if he does find relief with one he really likes but is suffering certain side affects..ie. anxiety, depression, etc...they can combine another med. to help counteract this. A cocktail of sorts.

I would encourage you to do some research online and educate yourself (if you haven't already) about mental disorders and the various medication available to you. There are many support boards for people looking for answers, or to see how differently others react to medication,etc.

I hope this helps alittle bit. And if I can help in any way let me know!

Best of luck to you and your husband on this journey. It has its good days & its bad but be strong and you will find your way.

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Old 01-30-2006, 02:18 PM   #13
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He is on Cymbalta (anti-depressant) and Lamictal. He is not in active therapy. I can't even say that until his meds are stable that he would even be able to tolerate much therapy. It's really hard to say anything right now about him because it's like learning him all over again. His dosages aren't right yet. He's been on them for about 2 months now. His Psych doc has been gradually increasing them. I know there is so much trial and error involved in getting the meds correct.

He's was a bit overweight to begin with but once he started the meds he consistantly started gaining weight. I know that weight gain can be a side effect of the anti-depressant. Also, there is the exercise factor. When he is feeling good he excersises like there is no tommorow but when he is down all he does is sleep, so I know that part of this weight gain is due to the fact that he is going through a severe depressive stage right now.

He has a wonderful doctor right now. I've talked to her many times on the phone. Seth is not exactly honest when he talks to her. She's very open to the fact of me keeping good communication with her.

I've done alot of research online looking for ways that I can help him. I know that he has to do a great deal of the work but I've found there are quite a few small things I can do that can have huge positive affects. It's just so discouraging right now because he is so lost and he not exactly that nice to me. I'm trying really hard to be patient but it's so hard, day after day, to be ignored or barked at without any positive actions. I don't want to say I've pulled away from him, but I can say that I've had to find ways to let his hurtful comments not go to my heart. But, the meds are helping. He makes hurtful comments now but before he was making gut-wrenching, want to throw up I am so hurt, comments. They are just more general comments now. Like one day he came home and our 2 year old had a dirty diaper and he wanted to know why the heck I had not changed her yet. Insuating that I was being lazy. Before he was being extremely emotionally abusive.

If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when you were diagnosed? And, how long had you known there was something wrong? Also, did it get progressively worse or was it always just there? I'm trying so hard to understand what he is going through it's just happened so fast and he did many, many bad things to me and I am scared still.
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If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught, you might be able to help someone else who's now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that's what it's all about after all...

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Highest weight: 261
Starting weight: 248 August 26
Current weight: 193
Current pounds lost: 55 lbs
Goal weight: 145 by August 26, 2006


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Old 01-30-2006, 03:05 PM   #14
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Marcie,
I was only recently diagnosed about a year ago. However, looking back I can say without a doubt that I had been suffering for many years. Some days/months were worse than others but it was hard all the same. It was so hard wondering what was wrong with me when I would do or say things so hurtful. I truly thought I felt that way, but really it's just a coping mechanism as that is how I was taught to deal with things. I've been going thru cognitive therapy and it has been immensely helpful to me. I've been given the tools to learn how to deal with my life and makes life much more enjoyable for everyone involved.

My mother is also BiPolar. She was diagnosed about 5 years ago. It explained a WHOLE LOT of my childhood. She had been acting that way forever, and it was so hard to figure out what the heck I'd done when she'd freak out over nothing. Not a fun way to grow up(read: my reason for therapy) but at least I know why she was the way she was. I only wish she'd have sought help sooner. There's such a stigma with mental illness still to this day so I'm sure she was hesitant to think there was something "wrong" way back when and go for help.

I'm so sorry for the things you've had to go thru. I can tell you're a strong lady though and will get thru this. Patience is hard, I know, but it will get better. Do you go to therapy yourself? Maybe it would be good for you to talk to someone who can help you, give you tools to cope with day to day things with him?

It sounds like you've really taken the bull by the horns and are dedicated to seeing his treatment be successful. It's alot for family to take on, especially when it's so newly diagnosed. I know that your dh is truly grateful for you working with him in this. It is so important for him to have that soft place to fall, however hard it may be fore you. I would really think it'd be great to go see someone yourself(if you aren't already, of course!) and get some reassurance and an outlet for yourself.

You make sure you take care of yourself as well, feel free to PM if you'd like to talk some more. Hopefully I've been some help to you here.
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Old 01-30-2006, 05:34 PM   #15
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Wow. What a great thread this is. I feel as if you all were peeking in my head. Emotional eater? Oh yea. My key, is to remain completely focused. The minute, no..the second I am not focused, the "inner fat chick" brainwashes me into thinking I am beautiful even if fat, and am not really that fat anyways or that I "deserve" a treat. And there I am...eating to make me smile, cry, laugh...hide. Focus. That's all I can do.
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