In general (gross generalization alert), men prefer to "fix" while women prefer to "discuss". So when I complain to my husband about something, he immediately wants to jump in and offer suggestions to fix it. Bless his heart. But over the years I've had to learn to say, "Honey, thank you for your suggestion. I really appreciate it. But right now, I just need to vent. Can you listen for a few minutes? It would be a big help." And he grins and nods and listens, and bites his tongue until I say "Thanks. Now this is what I was thinking as a solution? What do you think?" Then he can jump back into Mr. Fixit mode.
The water thing can be a problem at first. When I started drinking more water again, it took me about a week before I wasn't running to the potty every hour, or waking up a couple times a night. One thing that helps me is to stop drinking two hours before bed, to give it time to work through. Your kidneys do a LOT of work while you're sleeping. That might be something for you to try.
Along the lines of "water filling you up before a meal," is soup. I read an article somewhere that said that the broth in soups us more filling and satisfying than the equivalent amount of water. Yeah, you have the solids of the soup... but if I remember it correctly, they offered the same weight of food to two groups -- one as a glass of water and a dish of cooked veggies/meat, and the other as a bowl of soup made from the same ingredients. Don't know how accurate it is, but a cup of bouillon or broth before dinner or as a first course does seem to dull the edge of my hunger, and I don't eat as much later.
As for excuses to give up... Phooey! You've lost 20 pounds! That's amazing, and definitely something to be proud of. You have success behind you, and that's something you can look back on during these times of discouragement and frustration. Eventually, he may realize that. My husband didn't really "get it" about how successful I was until he realized he could hug me more easily... and I announced "yeah, well, I HAVE lost almost 50 pounds..." He's been much more of a cheering section since then, since that is success that has affected him directly. (That, and the fact that I've been dragging him upstairs more often lately probably helps... seems my overweight has really adversely affected my interest in romance, and I hadn't even paid attention to it. And now it's rekindling again.)
Be that as it may, you have definitely done the right thing by coming here to vent. That's what this place is for. We've been there. We've done that. And we're here to listen, and commiserate, and cheer, and give advice, and all the gossipy things that girlfriends do.
~~ Synger ~~