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Bad service in retail cause your fat?

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Old 01-14-2006, 11:46 PM   #1
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Default Bad service in retail cause your fat?

I wasn't always this huge. I remember a time my friends would want to go into Layne Bryant and I refused to walk inside because that store was for fat people. Now I'm already a DDD in their bras so any more and I won't even fit what they have. I've notice that I get really crappy service at stores, especialy makeup counters. Anyone else notice this?
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Old 01-15-2006, 12:31 AM   #2
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Without a doubt. People treat you differently.

I even applied for a job once, had a manager look at my application (hadn't seen me yet), and wanted to speak with me right away. I was just supposed to drop it off so this was good news. He came out of his office, looked me up and down and said thanks for the application, we'll give you a call.

There's no way he wanted me to wait for him and come out himself to say thanks for the app. *sigh*
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Old 01-15-2006, 02:51 AM   #3
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I didnt know there was a big difference until I started to lose weight. I've noticed that I started getting treated better. All of a sudden more doors are held open for me and I get more smiles and better service. That makes me a little sad. Because I was getting treated worse just because I was larger?!? What the heck is that?!? It's so superficial!
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Old 01-15-2006, 03:04 AM   #4
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I haven't noticed it but I'm probably in the same situation as UniversityPrincess. The way I'm treated now is what I've always been use to. I'll have to see what happens as I get closer to my goal. I know it's probably true though which is very depressing to think about. I don't get the hangup people have with others who are overweight. I was reading another board and the guys were just BASHING anyone over 120 pounds. It just makes me sick to my stomach to hear what people really think. I'll add another *sigh*
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Old 01-15-2006, 09:42 AM   #5
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I don't notice the difference but that's probably because I've only lost a little bit of weight.

I do notice it outside of it being towards me though. I notice it in the way people talk about other people as well.

Like for instance, my mom who has always been a stick figure seeing someone who is maybe 20lbs overweight but still look good, saying that they're fat and disgusting. Or asking my little brother if the girls he danced with were "Pretty or Fat" like you can't be both.

When I worked retail I treated everyone the same...skinny, fat, white, black, green, purple! They're people. We all have our own hangups!
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Old 01-15-2006, 11:22 AM   #6
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Well, I think weight is part of it, yes, but I also think that just generally looks are considered. I think it's just that people consider fat "ugly." I notice that a lot more people are nice and friendly to me when I've got my hair done, I've got my makeup done and I'm dressed nicely. I have noticed before that salespeople are rude to me though. It drives me nuts and I just want to say something to them like "Is there a reason you're looking at me like that?"

On the flip side, as I work in a clothing store, I can say that I am truly nice to every customer not based on looks. That has less to with the fact that I am fat and more to do with the fact that I'm a human being and realize that every other person who comes into the store is a human being.

*whew*
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Old 01-15-2006, 11:51 AM   #7
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I'm going to try this again...first one disappeared....

I've been in customer service and a customer for many years...as I'm sure many here has. I usually feel that if I receive bad service it isn't because I'm black and fat but because there is a lack of customer training provided by the company or that the person hates their job and needs to find a line of work that they enjoy more. My looks (whether I go to the store in torn sweats and ponytail w/ no makeup or if I'm dressed in heels and make-up) have nothing to do with the way I'm treated. I approach and deal with people with a smile and good attitude because that's how I am.

Anyway...I feel that we (people) should not expect or overlook being treated disrespectully. If someone does treat you wrongly...immediately let them know, educate them on how you should be treated. It only takes a few seconds of time.

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Old 01-15-2006, 01:37 PM   #8
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I like to ask for a manager when someone is being rude.

Then I like to lie & say I am the mystery shopper. That really freaks em out.
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Old 01-15-2006, 01:58 PM   #9
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I may have been treated differently when I was much heavier but, looking back, I firmly believe it had much more to do with MY demeanor and attitude than it did any prejudice on the part of the general public. I rarely took my eyes off the floor as I walked, much less smiled at anyone. I was generally unhappy with myself and assumed other people were as well - nobody got the benefit of the doubt. And, often, I was down right bitter. Not exactly the perfect combination of behaviors to have made people want to interact with me in a positive manner.

Of course, there are people who are downright mean and they certainly have been known to pick on fat people. But the truth is that people with that negative of a spirit treat EVERYONE poorly, not just fat people. We all have flaws and such people are masters at finding them in other people. I don't give them much thought or attention.

It honestly doesn't bother me that some employers make hiring decisions based on appearances. We all do that to a certain degree. Like it or not, we are visual creatures. But, it doesn't always work in favor of the thin and beautiful. I've been a hiring manager before and, quite frankly, when two candidates were equally qualified I would find myself leaning towards hiring the heavier person (assuming one was overweight and the other wasn't). It wasn't a matter of me being discriminatory against thin people, rather I was drawn to people I related to on several levels. I also had a career that involved my working closely with the sales force. Like it or not, attractive people close more sales than others. But, I don't think it is JUST because of their appearance. More often than not people who feel good about themselves - how they look, their intellect, their personalities, etc. approach situations with a confidence that many of us who are overweight just don't have. As an example, I have a sister who has NEVER paid a speeding ticket. But, you know what? She has always been confident and had the nerve to think she had the right to flip her hair and ask if the officer could please let her go just this one time. I wouldn't know if that would work for me because, well, I never had the confidence to try it. I ALWAYS approached life as if my weight were going to hold me back and, by golly, it did.

Now, with all of that said, I know plenty of women who are overweight and don't let it inhibit their lives as I did. The carry themselves well, approach every situation with confidence, and EXPECT things to go well. For instance, I have a friend who would have confronted that manager that looked LivingWater up and down before dismissing her. She would have asked why he was so anxious to meet her only to say, "We'll call you." Her attitude is that he may very well choose not to hire her because of her weight and that is okay - she doesn't have any delusion that she isn't fat or that the world is fair- but she does believe that she has every right to confront someone who judges her on her appearance alone (not in a nasty, demeaning way but just in a "what could I have done differently in order to be more carefully considered for this position?" kind of way). Most of us just don't have that kind of confidence. But, if you ask me, we all SHOULD.
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Old 01-15-2006, 02:19 PM   #10
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i sooo don't even pay attention to people anymore. i do know though that being fat doesn't get me much male attention anymore but i'm ok with that because i hate (most) men right now anyway. LOL

i do think its odd that when i go to the lane bryant at the mall there are skinny girls working in there who couldn't possibly wear the clothes they sell!
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Old 01-15-2006, 02:34 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shedilbry
i do think its odd that when i go to the lane bryant at the mall there are skinny girls working in there who couldn't possibly wear the clothes they sell!
I hate this about Lane Bryant. I really do. Also the quality of their clothing in the last 15 years has gone down the toilet. I should be able to wash something for a year or more, and not have the seams come out, not a month!
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Old 01-15-2006, 02:41 PM   #12
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Yeah, I have lots of good attitude but I will notice in some of more "trendy" stores that I don't get the service I deserve. Since I'm the Queen of Confrontation I usually say something. (Like - hey, with the majority of the population being plus sized, how come your store doesn't carry anything in those sizes? This rant was in Victoria's Secret).

Shedlibry - I once worked at Lane Bryant for a week (yeah, I suck at retail) and the manager was like a size 6. I made a joke about it once (because we got discounts and days when we were suppose to wear the merchandise) and she had lost like 60 pounds. I was in awe.
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Old 01-15-2006, 02:55 PM   #13
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I agree with lucky, I think most of the time I didn't get good customer service was when I really didn't want the service. I don't remember ever being treated rudely in a store, but I often used to go into plus size store with a bad attitude. I was mad at myself because I had done this to myself, I had caused my weight gain and because of what I did I had to shop there. I think I often took out my unhappiness on sales clerks by avoiding them and refusing their help. I don't shop so much in plus size stores anymore. I can wear regular sizes on top so I tend to shop at stores like target and old navy where there are all the sizes.
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Old 01-15-2006, 09:53 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goddess Jessica
Yeah, I have lots of good attitude but I will notice in some of more "trendy" stores that I don't get the service I deserve.
I have a similar problem in some stores (I wouldn't dare say all). But I also have that problem in restaurants. In one of my favorite restaurants, I always have the misfortune of having the same rude hostess who feels the need to sneer when she speaks to me whilst staring me up and down. But I digress, I have encountered some very rude people in more trendy/popular stores.
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Old 01-15-2006, 11:42 PM   #15
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SAPF--- every time i buy a bra at lane bryant i wear it for a couple months and the damn wires pop! LOL either the quality sucks like you said or i'm just REALLY rough on bras. i can buy a bra at wal mart and the wires are ok but the strap adjusters snap! i'm a stuck monkey when it comes to bras. LOL

jessica--- i thought about that after i posted but what are the odds that EVERY skinny girl who has worked there has lost a lot of weight? ya know? i'd feel more comfortable in there if there were more workers who were bigger gals like myself. but yay for her (and any of the others) for losing the weight.

scarlettdrawl--- give that waitress something to look at! chew up your food and open your mouth at her. (i know, its gross... LOL)
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