3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

Am I setting myself up for failure?!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-14-2006, 02:02 PM   #1
What are you waiting for?
 
rysmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 323

S/C/G: 232/258/223

Height: 5'4

Default Am I setting myself up for failure?!

Just curious if anyone can offer me some advice, I am eating really healthy and staying under 1800 cal's a day wich is what my doc recommended, well I made the decision to have 1 bad meal a week I figure if i do this it will curb any craving's i've had over the week and encourage me to continue doing what im doing, I plan to make sure that even the "bad meal" Im eating I will be staying under 1800 cals that day Am i setting myself up for failure is this a dumb thing to do? I have been on my period this whole weeks so i've had a lot of craving and i think i've done really good for me I just want to know if this is going to ruin everything i've worked so hard on this past week?! Anyone? thanks- Kim
__________________
~ Kimberly

~My valentine's day goal~
rysmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-14-2006, 02:22 PM   #2
What are you waiting for?
 
rysmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 323

S/C/G: 232/258/223

Height: 5'4

Default

just bumpin for opinions....
__________________
~ Kimberly

~My valentine's day goal~
rysmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-14-2006, 02:28 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
Clareh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Warwick, UK
Posts: 433

S/C/G: 184/161/139???

Height: 5' 3"

Default

I'm sure plenty of people will have lost weight doing exactly what you're doing but it doesn't work for me. The only thing that's worked is thinking that this is a permanent lifestyle change, where no food or meal is good or bad... I'm actually really getting to the frame of mind now that a McDonalds isn't a treat. If you're building it into your calorie allowance, it won't be 'bad' though..
I eat chocolate and have restaurant meals but they're only a tiny proportion of my week.

Good luck.
__________________


WEDDING DATE 9TH NOVEMBER 2007
Clareh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-14-2006, 03:07 PM   #4
Movin on down the scale
 
GonnaLooseitagain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: It's cold here
Posts: 478

Default

you know if your "dieting" you can/should not cut out entire food groups, that is setting yourself up for failure. Anytime your body thinks it is being deprived something it wants/likes, you are bound to over indulge when you get it. I watch carefully what I eat, and try to make improvements when I can, but I also eat whatever I want (IN MODERATION). If I go over my calorie allotment one day, I am EXTRA careful the next day or two to make up the difference. You can see for yourself, look at my ticker, am I failing?

Good luck to you
__________________

1 cookie per 5lbs:

NEW GOAL SET 5/26/06
GonnaLooseitagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-14-2006, 03:07 PM   #5
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern California
Posts: 20

Default

Hi rysmommy,

I have a big opinion on this, at least for me. I think, for me, I would be setting myself up for failure if I decided I wouldn't ever be able to have a "bad meal" again. I would be like, forget all of this. I personally, eat really well during the week, very healthily (is that a word?), low cal, low fat a (I used to stay down to 1200 a day and now I've bumped it up to 1400) and then I eat whatever I want on the weekends (starting Friday night). I try to eat well on the weekends when I feel like it (still have my Oatmeal, english muffin, or Egg Beaters for breakfast, still have a good, healthy dinner when I'm eating in) but I also let myself eat "cr*p" if I feel like it. A lot of the time, I don't even eat bad on the weekends because I don't crave it , and it's easier to NOT do it when I know that I'm allowed to. Does that make sense?

Anyway, this has definitely worked for me. I've lost 26 pounds in this manner, and still going. It makes it MUCH easier for me to keep going. Like, say, on a Wednesay when someone's eating fries right next to me and I feel like jumping on them and wrestling the fries from their fingers, I can stop myself cause I can say, just a couple more days, and you can eat those fries if you feel like it.

Like the previous poster said, I think its just about what you think works for you. If you think eating a "bad meal" will make it more likely for you to eat another bad meal, and then another, then don't do it and maybe you should go cold turkey. But if you are like me and know that it will work the opposite for you and you can have a bad meal and that will give you the drive to keep going for the rest of the week, then do it. You just have to analyze what effect it will have on your over-all motivation.

But it DEFINITELY works for me. And good luck, whatever you decide!
__________________
familybiggirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-14-2006, 03:15 PM   #6
What are you waiting for?
 
rysmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 323

S/C/G: 232/258/223

Height: 5'4

Default

It really does give me the gusto to keep going I am not cutting out any food group completely im actually following the food pryamind really well and I have decided that the junk food i used to eat like fast food and stuff is just too much that's why i decided once a week for one meal will satisfy any cravings and keep me going and give me the want i need to continue my aspriations. I am in no means DIETING I refuse to do that im changing my lifestyle by eating really healthy and satisfying one craving a week and i plan to do this for life! I love eating healthy so i dont consider it a diet at all but like everyother person in this world i do have unhealthy cravings and instead of chowing down like i used to I will fit it in my lifestyle once a week does this make sense? Im just wondering if this once a week is going to put back on any and all the weight I might have lost the week before?
__________________
~ Kimberly

~My valentine's day goal~
rysmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-14-2006, 03:28 PM   #7
YP1
Sub-4 marathon runner!
 
YP1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 3,567

S/C/G: 260/156/148-152

Height: 5 9

Default

One meal won't, nutritionally, cancel out a week of good eating. How many calories are there in a single meal, no matter how bad, anyway? Not enough to really throw you off track.

The one note of caution I'd add though before you let yourself loose on one meal a week is that if you have emotional eating issues and there's more to the "one bad meal" thing than just keeping yourself vaguely sane, then you might want to see if you can address those. It might be that you might not need that bad meal at all if you just look at the reasons why you're eating of. Of course, you'll always be put in situations where it's not particularly easy to eat healthy stuff, and in that situation there's nothing wrong with letting yourself off the leash, but if it's deeper rooted than that you'll have to deal with those issues at some point, so you may as well start now.
__________________
Helen

SW - 260, Original GW - 160 - achieved 21 March 2006, CW erm... I'll get back to you on that

4 sub-4 hour marathons! (PB 3:44:05)!
YP1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-14-2006, 04:05 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
Sheila53's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 4,665

S/C/G: 261/148/below 160

Height: 5'8" (Dang, I shrank an inch!)

Default

I go back and forth on this one. Sometimes it works for me, and sometimes I get lax and end up eating poorly all day.

You might want to give your plan a test drive and see if it works. Let us know!
__________________
Sheila

Women who behave rarely make history.
Sheila53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2006, 12:48 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ontario's West Coast
Posts: 13,968

S/C/G: 165/147/128

Height: 5'3"

Default

rysmommy ... are you setting yourself up for failure? Yes, but it's not because of any of the things you've asked about. One bad meal will not ruin everything. Whether or not you do cardio or weights or both or how long and how often will not ruin everything.

What will ruin everything is your thinking that you are prone to do the wrong things.

Try to remember 'eat less and move more' ... simply. I know you already know that.

Read lots and remember that we are all here to support you.
__________________
... Susan
Eat good food. Move yourself. Lift something.

You'll be surprised how much you don't miss grain.
srmb60 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2006, 01:13 PM   #10
undeniably moby
 
satylite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: bay area, ca
Posts: 86

Default

I completely agree with Susan. I think that -- finally, this time around -- I'm finding out how important mindset is. I don't do well with buzzwords like "diet" and "lifestyle change" and "on plan" and "cheat". (No offense to anyone who uses them, they're just not for me.)

My approach is simply to start eating healthily and moving my ***. I have a calorie range I'm shooting for, and I'm trying my damndest to make better choices. I know this will work for me because I've taken a lot of time to get to know myself and my eating habits and my brain and my patterns over the past several months. Frankly, every time I've put myself on a rigid plan, I've failed. I felt deprived or stuck or guilty for "cheating", and truthfully I can't live my life like that. I've accepted that there are days or instances where I'm going to choose to have that burger or slice of birthday cake at the office, but the make it or break it moment is when I choose where to go from there.

The same goes for you. I know many people who have lost a huge amount of weight and took one free for all day per week, and they've attested that it kept them on track the rest of the time. Some have told me that in knowing they have that out once a week, they wound up not even using it. Call it comfort or a safety net, but it's always there. The key is not slipping into 2 or 3 or 4 days like that. Instead of having a whole free day, there's always allowing certain foods into your diet on a daily basis in small or reasonable amounts. That works for some folks too.

I may not like buzzwords, but the phrase "calories in, calories out" has become my mantra. Because when it comes down to it, that's the very bottom line.

Hang in there, rysmommy. Take some time to figure out what's best for you, and don't beat yourself up for having an off day or two. I'll tell you from experience that I've done that many, many times and if I'd just lightened up on myself and moved on I wouldn't weigh 300 lbs right now, and I would have lost my weight a long time ago.
__________________
[[ satylite ]]
* * *

I've been waiting a long time for this moment to come
I'm destined for anything at all
Downtown lights will be shining on me like a diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all
I'm so much closer than I have ever known...
Wake up.


|| green day ||
satylite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2006, 02:59 PM   #11
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,343

Default

I agree that one meal isn't going to make or break your efforts. I would challenge you, though, to avoid putting any "bad" meals up on a pedastal. What you eat should be a choice, not a reward. With the right attitude and a little time you I expect you will find that you don't really think of those old favorites as treats anymore. Once you develp a taste for healthier fare they just won't be as good as you remember them.

Success really is about moderation and finding what works for you. The key for me has been being a mindful eater - regardless of what is on my plate. I have a piece of cake if that is what I really want, I just don't have as big a piece as I want. And, if I'm not in the mood for a huge salad I don't eat one just because it is "diet" friendly. When I pay attention to what it is I'm in the mood for and eat accordingly I am able to exhibit much more control over what I put into my mouth. I'd much rather have a few bites of something I know will satisfy me than an entire plate of something I know is going to leave me still craving whatever it was I felt hungry for to begin with.

Just be aware of what is going on. If you find you aren't enjoying your smaller/healthier meals during the week for comparing them to that one indulgent meal coming up then you might want to rethink your plan. I think it would be hard to succeed long term unless you actually like what you are eating most of the time - not just that one meal a week.
__________________
Lucky

lucky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2006, 03:07 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
susie_sunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: rural Manitoba
Posts: 340

Default

I have found that my biggest downfalls have been the result of using food as a reward. I get very little satisfaction anymore with "bad meals" because of the guilt I feel after eating it! If it's "bad" why do you want it in your body? I prefer to think of all foods as allowed, but some of them have to be allowed in moderation! Want the fettuccini alfredo? go for it but have it appetizer sized with salad or a grilled chicken breast. You'll have the same satisfaction without the guilt!
__________________
Susie
:carrot
susie_sunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2006, 03:46 PM   #13
YP1
Sub-4 marathon runner!
 
YP1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 3,567

S/C/G: 260/156/148-152

Height: 5 9

Default

My view (like some of those above) is essentially that while the calories won't make a huge difference over the course of a week if you're just looking at the occasional treat, you need to look at the reasons why you want to eat it. Weight loss is simple in mathematical terms, calories in and calories out, but it's the psychological side that can really be hard to cope with.

If you're in a situation where you eat badly for a meal or two, don't beat yourself up about it, but the success of planning to go off track for a while really depends on how you use that. If you use the opportunity to binge or to eat stuff you don't really want just because you can then it's not going to help. If you use it to allow yourself a little more leeway but keeping things like portion sizes and your hunger levels in mind then you will be doing a **** of a lot better.
__________________
Helen

SW - 260, Original GW - 160 - achieved 21 March 2006, CW erm... I'll get back to you on that

4 sub-4 hour marathons! (PB 3:44:05)!
YP1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2006, 03:56 PM   #14
What are you waiting for?
 
rysmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 323

S/C/G: 232/258/223

Height: 5'4

Default

okay i love all the post's thanks so much very helpful I really like the idea about not thinking of food as a reward that was dumb of me to think that way! I ate some junk and i felt so crappy afterwards! I don't even like it so i don't understand why i feel i need it! Im going to try and have moderation in all things that sounds more like life to me than a free day or meal. Love all the words of wisdom thanks a bundle gals!
__________________
~ Kimberly

~My valentine's day goal~
rysmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2006, 05:15 PM   #15
Senior Member
 
DeafinlySmart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,140

S/C/G: xmas start wt: 156

Default Chocolates and other Cravings

Quote:
Originally Posted by satylite
My approach is simply to start eating healthily and moving my ***. I have a calorie range I'm shooting for, and I'm trying my damndest to make better choices. I know this will work for me because I've taken a lot of time to get to know myself and my eating habits and my brain and my patterns over the past several months. Frankly, every time I've put myself on a rigid plan, I've failed. I felt deprived or stuck or guilty for "cheating", and truthfully I can't live my life like that. I've accepted that there are days or instances where I'm going to choose to have that burger or slice of birthday cake at the office, but the make it or break it moment is when I choose where to go from there.

The same goes for you. I know many people who have lost a huge amount of weight and took one free for all day per week, and they've attested that it kept them on track the rest of the time. Some have told me that in knowing they have that out once a week, they wound up not even using it. Call it comfort or a safety net, but it's always there. The key is not slipping into 2 or 3 or 4 days like that. Instead of having a whole free day, there's always allowing certain foods into your diet on a daily basis in small or reasonable amounts. That works for some folks too.

I may not like buzzwords, but the phrase "calories in, calories out" has become my mantra. Because when it comes down to it, that's the very bottom line.
Everybody's body is different. Some people can handle splurge meals every week, others cannot. Since you are building it into your calories, it isn't really a splurge meal technically. You sound like you know what you are doing. I personally, don't set a day to do that. I just allow myself moderations when I feel the need to eat certain things.

I do agree with the emotional eating. If I start doing this a few days in a row then I know something else is going on. Right now I'm on my period so I tend to crave chocolates. I bought 1 small pkg of sugar free chocolate covered toffees. Those are higher in contents. Then I bought hard cocoloate flavored candies (for 8 calories a peice) to satisfy. I make my husband hide it so I don't see it. Then I only ask for it when I think about it and crave it. Otherwise if I see it, THEN it will trigger my craving. Those are my strategies. I think everybody builds their own. Good luck to you. Just watch the outcome and adjust as you go along.
__________________
DeafinlySmart is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:46 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2