Started out well posting my food on the Buddy thread the other week. Then PMS reared its ugly head and aggrevated her friend named Depression. So I ate alot of chocolate and other sweet stuff along with just alot of food in general. As it is time to schedule my yearly check up, I will do that soon and make an effort NOT to chicken out this time and actually mention the issues with depression and ask for help with it. Each year I want to talk to my doc about it but I chicken out. I keep fooling myself into thinking my problem isn't that bad. But it is; I feel depressed 98% of the time but it only gets worse when I'm premenstral.
Generally, I would stay in bed ALL DAY if guilt and having to take care of my kids didn't drag me out of bed. I can't remember the last time I was happy to wake up. For as long as I can remember, I long to just go back to sleep the moment I realise I'm awake again.
And when DH is home, I do stay in bed, as long as possible, and let him take care of the kids. Alot of times, when I do get out of bed and see the shambles my house is in, (DH is doing a share of the housework now but just not very good at it), I just want to crawl back into bed. I just don't see the point in attempting to clean my house. I feel that way about alot of things;
I. Don't. See. The. Point.
I know DH gets annoyed with me for sleeping in so then he has to get up nearly every morning and see the girls to the school bus. We fight about it every so often. I feel guilty and know I'm behaving like the worst mommy. Between sleeping and my two jobs I see extremely little of my kids and it has been really bothering me lately. DH will be done with school at the end of January and when he find a job I'll go down to one job. I feel so stressed out and have been eating to cope.
I believe if it weren't for Tae Kwon Do and running, I would be much worse emotionally and would have gained back a bunch of the weight I have lost. So far I have been maintaining and that gives me some comfort. I have read that daily moderate exercise is good for relieving depression, but I get daily moderate exercise, and then some, but it just isn't helping.