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Someone kick my butt...please?

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Old 10-29-2005, 01:54 PM   #1
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Default Someone kick my butt...please?

Hey y'all, I'm back after an unplanned absence here. Things have been pretty nuts -- not bad nuts, just busy and crazy. Within the past couple of months I got a new job (yay!) and we moved, and all the changes associated with both those things have thrown me wayyyy off track. I haven't been watching what I'm eating, or working out, or really paying attention to any of this, even.

But see? That's what I say, that the changes have thrown me off track. Truth is, I LET them throw me off track, and I'm feeling like a dork about it.

I remember awhile back there was a thread about being afraid to fall short of our goals, and I was all cocky and "oh, I'm not afraid because this time it's different". And I really think I truly believed that at the time, with that vigor and determination that comes with starting all over again and being so enthusiastic and positive and feeling like you can conquer the world. But somehwere I lost my steam, and I'm back here all sorts of humbled and asking you guys to kick my butt into getting my act together again.

I apologize for the self-centeredness (is that a word?) of this post, but I guess it's just my way of reaching out on a gray and motivationless Saturday morning.

Hope you've all been happy and well.

xox
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[[ satylite ]]
* * *

I've been waiting a long time for this moment to come
I'm destined for anything at all
Downtown lights will be shining on me like a diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all
I'm so much closer than I have ever known...
Wake up.


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Old 10-29-2005, 02:34 PM   #2
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It does not matter what you did. It matters what you DO. Make your choice.
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Old 10-29-2005, 02:45 PM   #3
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Tried to quote and couldn't figure it out. I completely relate. If you haven't been around for a bit you won't have seen some similar posts. There is something to be said for that initial belief that "this time is different". I think maybe it was - you're back right?

Forgive and forget. Move on, having learned that you need to be vigilant. Lots of us have started over many times. I'm back in the swing for the last few days, but have lapsed many times since I joined. I really try to focus on what many have advised - lifestyle change attitude and small sustainable changes to start. Good luck - we're all rooting for you!
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Old 10-29-2005, 04:48 PM   #4
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satylite -- This time around I'm still in a honeymoon phase and feeling fine, but I've been where you are many times before and am worried that I too, will derail. So, I wrote this letter to a future me who may need to get back on trac -- sort of a self-butt kicker. Maybe it will help kick your butt...

The letter is here: To My Future Frustrated Self:

Good luck!! You are not alone!
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Old 10-29-2005, 08:58 PM   #5
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From my meeting today...

When you break an egg you don't go back and break the other 11 eggs.


So maybe you were off for a week or a month or two...but its not forever. Don't give up because you had a bad period of time. Its going to happen and you have to gain control of it.


I ate 3 cup cakes last weekend, along with some mexican food...
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Old 10-30-2005, 01:08 AM   #6
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I, too, love that quote about the eggs!

Hi, Satylite - I've come a long way down since April 2004. In truth, I am at a point where I'm struggling to stay positive and do what I need to do. You're coming back from where I don't want to go. So, in a way we're at the same crossroad, just coming from different directions but meeting at the same point. Know what I mean? Let's link arms with the others here and encourage each other on the right road.

We can stick to it. We can do this.
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Old 10-30-2005, 03:47 AM   #7
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Hi I'll grab the other arm. I am stuck stuck stuck at 209, and getting a bit fed up, and almost where Kimberley doesn't want to go! It's so hard when the road is so long, and the weather gets colder and bleaker and all I want to do is curl up under my quilt for winter!!! I am sitting in my swimming costume with my clothes over the top looking out the window and feeling very grumpy.

So let's snap out of it, and keep positive!!! We will emerge victorious, will 11 eggs in our baskets!!!!
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Old 10-30-2005, 06:41 AM   #8
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The stress and desire to procrastinate you are feeling with school is pretty normal. I am in college myself and have noticed that every quarter has a rhythm that is almost identical. Usually I start off with high energy which is usually gone in the first few weeks. Then it becomes plain grit and determination to get things done on time and get ready for tests. As you get toward the end you start pulling your hair out over finals and final projects and just when you are totally sick of it the class is over, thank God I have enjoyed most of my classes but it does not keep the same cycle from happening. The thing that keeps me motivated is fear of failing. I may be bored to tears with a class and hate the assignments but fear will make me sit down and actually do the work to get a good grade.

The big secret is that everyone else feels the same way. That is why when you walking a college campus at mid term or finals time you can almost smell the fear and stress in the air. I have a pretty high GPA and my lab partners seem to think I am just naturally smart. That is certainly not the case. I am just more afraid of failing than they are and will do what it takes to keep that from happening.

Here is how I manage to get things done. First at the start of the quarter I put all my test dates or due dates for papers in my day planner. If you don't have one I suggest you get on or write them on a calender were you will see it everyday. Putting it near your computer or bathroom mirror is good because you can't avoid seeing it. By doing this it is easy to see where you are at and when things are due. The most important thing is to promise yourself not to cram for tests or to get assignments done. If you are anything like me I do rotten work when I am under too much stress. With my science classes I need to study everyday because the material is tough and you can't take it in all at once. If I fail to study during the week I make up for it on the weekends. With social science classes I start assignments at least a week before they are due unless it is a big project. The social science come pretty easy for me so I usually don't have to do the daily grind like you get with math and science. All that will vary with where you are at personally. You may need more time and you need to find what your level is. Once you have figured that out you can know when you need to get to work and when you can let up. I make up my mind before I begin a class what grade I want to get. For social science class I usually aim for an A. I know what I need to do and the amount of time it will take to earn that grade. Science and math I expect to earn at least a B but try and shoot for an A. Those both come very hard for me and a B is actually a major achievement. I personally am not willing to make myself totally insane trying to get an A even if others around me are. I don't plan to transfer to Harvard so I don't worry about a B on my transcripts. Where I am tough on myself is that I refuse to earn anything lower than a B. I know people who feel that C grades are ok but I know for me that a C means I did not make an effort.

The thing to remember is that you are not alone and stop beating yourself up for not starting your assignment sooner. Being stressed and under pressure is part of being in college. Through the years I have been in school a long time and I can tell you for a fact it never changes. It is normal for you to feel the way you do and it doesn't make you a bad person or even a bad student. It makes you a normal student and shows you are being way too hard on yourself. All you can do is get caught up and try to stay there. If you are stuck with the essay you are doing now I would be glad to try and help you if you want to send a PM. At the school I attend there is a writing lab and writing tutors in the tutorial center. Both of those options can be very helpful and it may be a resource you have not taken advantage of. Don't be shy about asking for help or getting a tutor. I never would have made it though my math classes without a lot of time in the tutorial center. I always discovered that many people from my classes were there with the same questions. They also tended to be the better students in the class because they were motivated to get help with the material. Besides I also made a lot of new friends there because we got to know each other trying to master the material. A lot of those people I have stayed friends with even after the class was over.
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Old 10-30-2005, 12:35 PM   #9
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I am new to this site and have been reading this thread. I am so proud sometimes to be a woman when I see women pulling up other women even while they themselves need a hand up! I have been there...needing to lose 100+ pounds. I have worked and worked hard to walk my butt off literally and its been a difficult road. I still have a ways to go, but with positive support like you all give and ultimately get, I feel a new sense of purpose and rededication to losing the rest of this weight. Thank you!

Connie
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Old 10-30-2005, 02:04 PM   #10
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Satylite, it sound like you really have learned some big lessons- good for you!!! You can do this, you *are* doing it!

Pookie, your nephew is *very* handsome and you look lovely! Keep up the good work Your goals in your sig meet mine exactly (I never eat the things you avoid and do my best to do the positive things you do as well ).
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Old 10-30-2005, 02:04 PM   #11
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Welcome back satylite. I know what you mean when you said you were sure that you would never change what you were doing and then you did. I've done the same thing. I lost 190 lbs only to gain back 120 of it. Now I say the same thing now. I'm never going back. I hope and pray that it is the truth when I say that. I'm not giving myself any other option though. So you see you have to talk like that to keep yourself motivated. If you went around saying I'm going to fail this time just like all the other times then you probably will fail. So don't worry about what you said back then and don't be afraid to say it again.
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Old 10-30-2005, 03:10 PM   #12
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You guys rock so very hard.

It's very comforting to know that there are people who have been (or are) where I am right now, and just feeling that kind of empathy helps a whole lot.

My head's a little clearer today. I had a good cry, then wiped my eyes and blew my nose, sent myself home from my pity party and resolved to soldier on.

Now I'm all about the linked arms and the eggs and the no fear attitude. Thanks so much for shining that light down a very long tunnel.
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[[ satylite ]]
* * *

I've been waiting a long time for this moment to come
I'm destined for anything at all
Downtown lights will be shining on me like a diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all
I'm so much closer than I have ever known...
Wake up.


|| green day ||
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Old 10-31-2005, 08:42 AM   #13
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I really have got to get a computer at home , I keep missing some great threads that are posted over the weekend! Satylite, as requested here is a tiny boot in the can. That being said, if losing weight was so easy, I doubt there would be any overweight people in the world. It is not an easy thing to do, so pat yourself on the back that you are realizing that you are having difficulty and maybe losing focus. It will be a lifelong battle, but we are all in this together!

P.S. Wyllen, I love that letter that you wrote to your future self. What a fabulous way to regain your focus.
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Old 10-31-2005, 11:04 AM   #14
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Thanks, Carol and Pookie -- I think about that letter when I feel myself start to wane. I told my husband to make me read it if he sees me slipping!
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Old 10-31-2005, 12:56 PM   #15
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You have been given some awesome advice and insight. I agree that we all say it will be the last time. I weigh about 6 pounds more today than I did on Jan. 1 of this year. I still consider this my last time becaue yeah my scale may have gone up and I had a few setbacks but this is a learning process and I am a work in progress and will be the rest of my life.

You will get it back together and start moving in the right direction again.
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