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Weight Loss: When Did People Start to Comment?

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Old 10-11-2005, 09:49 PM   #1
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Default Weight Loss: When Did People Start to Comment?

I posted this elsewhere, but it kind of got buried...
Here's a question for those of you who have gotten to this point: When did people start to comment on your weight loss?

I started at about 300 and have lost just over 30 pounds. While I certainly notice the difference in a number of ways, I don't know if I'm at the point other people would notice. I am certainly not at the point where people who don't know me well (e.g., colleagues) would comment on it, and I have volunteered that info to very few people.

I'm not asking because I can't wait for the comments -- almost the opposite. Right now I don't want to have to start answering all the "What's your secret?" questions or have them watch everything I eat ("Is that what a "dieter" eats?"). [Though I suppose before they might have wondered "Is that how much a fat person eats?"] I'm not doing this for anyone but me and like my current state of anonymity.

So, I guess a follow up question is, what kinds of questions do people most often ask you?

I lost some weight a number of years ago -- going from 250 to 217ish. I remember that people HAD started to notice. That may also have been because I started dressing nicer because I had a new wardrobe and was WANTING others to notice. I'm not at that point (yet) this time around -- do you think that's as much a part of it as anything else? That is, not the weight loss itself, but how you project yourself?
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Old 10-11-2005, 09:52 PM   #2
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The first time I lost weight, I had lost 70 lbs before anyone really noticed. I'm at a 60 lb lost this time and only one person has said anything - and that was that I was losing weight in my face.
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Old 10-11-2005, 10:06 PM   #3
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How do you get kicked out of WW?! That's funny.
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Old 10-11-2005, 10:15 PM   #4
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My partner swears she saw it after about 15 pounds, but coworkers started to comment after about 25-30 pounds, when I was around 255 or 260, down from 284. I found it very motivating. I was "out" among the folks I speak with about making a healthy life overhaul, because I wanted the increased accountability, so it was great to get the positive feedback.

Then when I just kept on losing, it was just so, so motivating to get all that validation!

Questions I was asked were all along the lines of, "Wow! So what are you doing? Great job!" Followed by something like, "God, I just don't have the discipline, good for you." I welcomed these conversations, because I knew people were on my side, and I wanted all the support I could get.
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Old 10-11-2005, 10:46 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyllenn
I'm not asking because I can't wait for the comments -- almost the opposite.
I think this is a huge issue for me, too. I'm not comfortable with a certain kind of shallow attention paid to me by people, and I'm not looking forward to telling all kinds of people how much I lost, what I did, etc.

In fact, one of my coworkers (apparently a non-vegetable-eating coworker) asked me if I was "still eating all those carrots and celery sticks". I tried to explain that no matter how fat or thin I've been, I've always eaten vegetables, but I don't think she understood. She then asked me if I'd lost any weight (and I had, but 8 pounds is hardly noticeable), I said no and that I'm not even trying. I just didn't want to deal with it.
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Old 10-11-2005, 11:42 PM   #6
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People did not notice on me until around 50 lbs. I think they notice most when you go down a couple of pants size and get new ones. For me I went form 58s and waited until I could fit in 52s before I bought new ones. So people really noticed when I did that. They have really noticed again when I just recently went form a 2xl shirt to XL and am wearing 42 pants now. So clothes do make a big difference. I have always been very open about my diet and wanted people to know so I could get support and be accountable. So I have not struggled with not wanting to be noticed. So if you want to not be noticed just wait as long as possible to buy new clothes.
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Old 10-12-2005, 12:21 AM   #7
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I'm not really looking forward to people learning about my dieting. I started to diet a couple times over the past few years, and people's comments weren't supportive at all. I've decided never to mention that I'm trying to lose weight, particularly to a few of my friends. If anyone comments on my (hopefully, one day noticable) weight loss, I plan on just saying, "I've lost weight? Hmm. I guess I have." Maybe you can find a way to brush off any comments?

I've got you guys for accountability, I have buddied up for support, and my boyfriend is being wonderful (even though he says I'm perfect the way I am and don't need to lose an ounce *grins*).

I guess I'm most worried about socializing with friends. I'm in my early twenties, and it seems like my social life revolves around food. Pizza and gaming. Meeting up at restaurants. Getting chinese food and watching movies. I'm most worried about how to handle this.
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Old 10-12-2005, 01:44 AM   #8
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People started commenting at around 20-25 pounds for me..
I started at 230.

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Old 10-12-2005, 05:30 AM   #9
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I think this is a really interesting question. In a way, it gets to the heart of some of the self-esteem, and support issues which seem to be such an important part of this journey. I guess I continually present myself to the world as someone who eats healthily, looks after themselves etc - I find that's the best way to reinforce my lifestyle. I have a couple of friends who I talk about this journey to in detail, but I don't enjoy hours of conversation about food and exercise! Once people started to notice that I was looking slimmer, I just enjoyed the comments and found it a really good source of motivation and encouragement. And, like Howie, I think it was more a clothes size related thing than anything else.

I guess what's most important is to figure out how best to deal with peoples reactions in a way that sustains, motivates and encourages you. And also to have a few one-liners ready for those people who are just downright unhelpful!
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Old 10-12-2005, 08:13 AM   #10
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I think for me, it was around 20 lbs or so. It's sort of a Catch 22--I want them to notice, but I don't want all the questions that go with it.
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Old 10-12-2005, 09:03 AM   #11
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These comments have been really helpful -- really got me thinking -- keep em coming! I have been very open with my colleagues (and some of my students -- I work at a college) about my new eating choices, but have NOT framed it in terms of weight loss, but health. Maybe part of the reason is because I went into this trying to be healthier, and trying not to focus on weight as the only measure of success.
I actually do get support from them, and now several of us brown bag it together, so that's good.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's nervous about this next phase, and from other comments, one issue seems to be whether what they say will be motivating to me or not.

WinterWonder, I know what you mean about the socializing issue. As I have started to get more comfortable with my regular, daily choices, I am starting to think more about those social occasions. I am finding that I really need to a) experiment with options and strategize b) not beat myself up for not being perfect. One thing I always do first now is eat something before I go so that I'm not really hungry. Then I try to plan what I will eat and how much and try not to go beyond. That doesn't always work, but then I know I'm doing better than when I didn't even try!
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Old 10-12-2005, 10:09 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jen415
I think for me, it was around 20 lbs or so. It's sort of a Catch 22--I want them to notice, but I don't want all the questions that go with it.
Exactly. It was about the same as me. The reason I didn't want all the questions wasn't because I didn't want to help out others in my newfound "secret" (move more, eat less) but because I had failed so many times in the past, I didn't want to have to deal the the shame and embarrassment should I fall off the wagon. When I finally switched gears and knew that this is forever, I realised no one but me cares when I pig out and slip up but me. For the most part, people aren't judging me for what I eat and how much I eat, it's mostly in my head.

winter--I think it's great that you are now kind of fearing the socialization. BUT, you do need to start planning for how you will handle them so you don't become anti-social because you are eating healthier. If you are going to have pizza and gambling, plan for 1-2 slices, eat a large salad before you go (if one won't be served). If by chance you do overindulge, don't beat yourself up but move on. It was one meal. You have 21 meals a week (not counting snacks) and that gives you 20 more meals to eat healthy
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Old 10-12-2005, 11:16 AM   #13
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I think this time around it was when I had lost about 25 lbs and I had bought new clothes. People knew there was something different but could not quite put their finger on it, so to speak. I understand about avoiding the questions. I always felt that when people asked "Have you lost weight?" or "What have you been doing?" I totally felt that they were judging me when I decided to cheat a little and go off plan. My mother is the worst for that. Everytime she sees me eating something that she considers "off" the diet, she is all over me like white on rice. That is how I became a closet binge emotional eater in the first place BTW. I use this forum to get support, and pretty much have kept the diet to myself.
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Old 10-12-2005, 12:51 PM   #14
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Last time I lost weight (86lbs which unfortunately wasn't for good) people started noticing around 20lbs.. I think a lot of it was, as others have said, because I was dressing nice and feeling good about myself. I was wearing clothes that fit me properly. There is a downside to people noticing. I have found that when a lot of people find out that the "big girl" is trying to lose weight, it becomes a spectacle...like 'ooh, let's see how far she'll get before she gives up'. Well that was my experience at my old job anyway. It's discouraging. This time around, only my mom, boyfriend, and older brother (a fitness idol of mine) know. And they are all infinitely supportive.
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Old 10-12-2005, 01:33 PM   #15
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Smile Different strokes for different folks

Maybe my experience with weight loss is unusual - it sounds rather like it is - and definitely my perception of others sounds very different than that of most of you guys. I just didn't have any negative expectation of others' reactions to my losing weight - or NOT losing weight, for that matter! I had never really tried before, so maybe that's relevant, as it didn't give me any "baggage" or negative experiences to color my expectations. I just figured that most people would be happy for me and wish me well, and if by chance someone had a nasty or negative thought that they'd either keep it out of my earshot or I'd address it as it came up. I guess it's just that whole positive energy thing -- I am a strong believer that, more often than not, what I put out there comes back to me, and that fundamentally most people are good. I'm not naive, I'm just really stubbornly optimistic, I suppose, in that I refuse to let the behaviors of a few negatively affect my perception of my fellow humans. I'm all about the karma.

And I WANTED people to know that I was intentionally, consciously trying to lose weight so they'd help me to remember it myself! I didn't want to fail, I wanted to establish the expectation that I would succeed in my OWN mind, and having the people with whom I work closely in on my plan I thought could only help me.

And it DID!! I lost 78 pounds in 8 months, and felt overwhelmingly positive throughout the entire experience -- and that wasn't accidental, or even genetic! It was intentional, completely purposeful, and required ongoing, conscious work.

As for the socializing thing -- well in the beginning, I just had to compromise my social life. I figured that habits aren't created overnight, and I didn't want to put my goals and continued success at risk. My health was my overriding priority -- this was non-negotiable. Later on, a few months into it, I felt like I could plan for some splurges - and the key there was planning. I was prepared, had accounted for off-plan eats in terms of fiber, fat, calories, and protein (to balance those carbs I love so much!) So it was guilt-free, not scary, and I was right back on track afterwards. No worries at all.

I want to be clear that I'm not knocking the experiences or perceptions of those of you who look at this differently than I -- I just want to share another way of looking at it that totally worked for me.
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