Dawnyal's life has been extremely hectic and I can't see it slowing down anytime soon. I have backslid so far on my scale I couldn't tell you what I weigh right now. We had William's surgery almost two weeks ago and yesterday was the first day he actually acted like my happy-go-lucky child and was actually laughing and playing. Chris is out of school (He is staying with MIL right now but should be coming back home and will be having baseball games).
We had our spring expo with the newpaper a week ago Saturday. The following Monday and Tuesday were really rough because of playing catch up for the ads we didn't get to build on Thursday and Friday. We found out on Tuesday that Carrie would be back in her hometown on Friday and would be going to her celebration. My mom's Relay for Life event was Friday night, my coworker's daughter had her birthday party on Saturday and we went to the Zoo yesterday (I'll post a couple of pics.) Our Relay for life is this Friday and Saturday and I'm the team captain. I have to work all day friday and then stay up all night and be done at 6 a.m. on Saturday.
In the meantime I have given up all my healthy eating habits, gotten in very little exercise and to be honest I just don't care. I've sat down and thought over it and thought over it and for me at this moment the cost of me not having to worry about what I eat is less than the effort I have to put forth to get healthy. I know we all have to find it in ourselves to want to lose weight and I have misplaced IT. Every time I tell myself it's time to start over and get with it, I get overwhelmed.
It hit me yesterday though what my problem is. I keep trying to start where I left off when everything fell into place nicely and I had all those good habits in place. I'm trying to make myself stay accountable for that standard of living and I'm not there yet and get discouraged because I can't do something I could do a month ago.
Where does that leave me today? I'm staying away from my scale because I don't want that number to scare me. I can still fit into my size 20 stretch jeans (albeit a bit tight) so I know that I haven't gained all I've lost and I'm going to concentrate on getting in daily exercise. I have to remind myself that I didn't just get all those habits in place at once that it took me over a year to slowly add them one by one and I can't expect them to all just come back.
As you read above, I've had 3 days of exercise: Friday I walked for 45 minutes for mom's relay for life team, Saturday I roller skated for about 30 minutes and yesterday we spent about 5 hours at the zoo with at least 3 hours of walking.
If you got this far, thanks for reading. I know that I will get IT back one of these days. I haven't totally given up on myself.
Thanks for sharing with us Dawnyal - exercising daily will be really helpful to you, both physically and mentally. Like you say, the other things will come into place gradually - and trying to do too much too soon will just leave you feeling disheartened.
You've been through alot recently and it's lovely to see you and your family are still smiling - your kids are beautiful and it looks to me like they get it from their mum! (No offence to your husband! )
I really feel for you - I have just been through a very similar phase, and for me it just felt like far too much effort to get back on track, I just could not find the energy and motivation to do it. But I have done it, and this is what helped me:
- Like you, I started with 'baby steps', and I chose some principles, which I thought were achievable, and which I committed to for a week. (Basically, no junk/processed food; swimming 6 days a week; more fruit and veggies). For me, one of the biggest mental blocks was the thought of spending a lot of time shopping, preparing food etc - I admit, I just could not find the energy to do that. So I found ways round that - lots of salads, lots of meals at the gym. It was expensive, but I decided that if that was what it took, I, and my health were definitely worth it....
- I held myself to those principles - they were definitely bottom-lines. Somehow that helped. And the surprising thing was how easy it actually was in practise, to get back to it - truth is I like having a healthy lifestyle, I feel happier and more energetic.
- I also kept reminding myself of the dire consequences to my health if I didn't eat well, and exercise. I know, when you are at the stage of feeling that it is all too much effort, that it is very hard to re-connect to why you should do this - but it helped me to do so.
On the day I decided to get back on track, I spent a lot of time figuring out why I was acting how I was, and what it was really about. For me it came down to self-respect, and what was most important.......I know, when you are really busy, and overwhelmed with stress, it is hard. But it might be worth figuring out why you are putting everybody else first - before your own health?
Good for you for coming here when it's hard!!!! And what a beautiful family!
I've definitely been where you're at, too many times to count. For what it's worth, for me, the key is to do some exercise, even if it's not what I do when I'm feeling committed. If I don't have the energy to do step aerobics, I'll do a short pilates or yoga workout, or low impact floor aerobics (something that's fun and more like dancing than exercise), or just part of my step aerobics tape. It's better for me to let my eating slide than to stop exercising. I guess it's because exercise keeps me feeling firm(er!) and it's an excellent stress reliever. The eating eventually falls back in line.
That "All or Nothing" philosophy will beat you everytime. I don't know how many women I've seen on this board go gung-ho into diet and exercise only to give up when life gets in the way. Dawnyl, there will always be life. Our mission is to figure out what to do. Most people who follow "All or Nothing" get discouraged and give up. Don't give into that philosophy. Modify. Figure out what works for you right now and what will bring you back to the scale.
Everyone has given you good, solid advice that I know you're smart enough to follow, Dawnyal, so I don't really have much to add. The reason I'm here is to say how darn adorable those kids are (and to repeat how jealous I am of your cheekbones)!!
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"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people." Orson Welles
You've really been through a lot (and still are, it sounds like) -- don't beat yourself up for giving when you needed to give. You are where you need to be right now. I agree with Jessica -- "all or nothing" just gives you an excuse to quit or not even start. You've done great and you're doing great, just in other areas of Life. Don't give up on yourself -- we won't.
And wonderful pics -- such cuties! I really miss that age sometimes (mine are 5 & 8).
"But remember, the brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop other people." Randy Pausch, "The Last Lecture"