Aw, Sandi, I'm sooooo happy you're back!! I'm very, very proud of you. As you know, I post here very little these days, but I have followed your progress with so much excitement (Seriously! Excitement! ) and I'm really thrilled that you've learned that you can regain control and own your next action. What a thing to learn about yourself! Now you're all about TODAY, baby!!
We love you, Sandi, and we're all really, really proud of you.
Glad to see you are back Sandi. Kudos for throwing out the ice cream. I too know not Chubby Hubby. I just can't afford Ben and Jerry so I don't even bother looking at them as I pass by the ice cream.
I need help, folks. I know that we can not lose weight until WE are individually ready. However, I am very worried about a young family member that is fully double the weight she would be healthy at and diabetic (not under medical care at all) living almost exclusively on fast food and not getting any movement. How can I encourage her to care for herself ? She isn't the only one that will be hurt by her lack of responsibility for her health. Any ideas that would help without just hurting her?
Sea, I don't know... I remember when I was a freshman in high school, close to 200 pounds and my religion teacher asked me in front of everyone "are you getting outside? running around and getting exercise?" she didn't come out and say "hey you're fat and need exercise" but I was embarassed just the same. anyway its sort of a dumb example but the point is, if anyone tried to tell me that i needed to do something about my weight, as nicely as it was, just made me angry and sad and didn't make me want to do anything about it. doing something about it came later, on my own.
i don't know if there is anything you can do or say to get her to change her ways. i guess just set a good example and maybe she will follow.
Sea when i started losing it was in an attempt to help my mom get her diabetis under control. She needed someone to walk with and so I walked with her to keep her going. How about asking her to be your walking buddy?
encourage her to go on walks with you, invite her over to dinner and cook healthy. Talk about your success and how much you really like that you've changed your life style and are so much happier because you are healthier. stuff like that.
Like you said you really can't help her until she is ready to be helped.
You can, of course, be kind and gentle to her just as Barbygirl just said….show her that healthy food can be tasty and easy to make. Taking walks with her can also be helpful. I know this can work for a lot of people.
On the other hand, for some people it takes more than this. In my case, I had to fall very low before I manage to do something about my weight….It was 335, xxl sizes were starting to get tight, love life was at zero, blood tests results were out of spec and I was literally stuffing myself with fast food. My doctor really shook my up when he told me that if I continue like this I was going to end up in a wheelchair by age 40….. Then and only then I realized that I was hurting myself real bad….and decided to do something about my weight…
Whatever approach you choose, be careful not to make her feel guilty about her weight or lifestyle. This may just take her lower than she is. Show her that you are concerned about her lifestyle, but you’ll respect whatever she chooses to do.
I know this may sound incompatible with the “tough” approach, but with it is achievable with lots of diplomacy.
Sea, I wish I had the perfect words for you, but having been the focus of several well-intentioned "we just want you to be happy and healthy" weight discussions with my family, I'm not sure that anything you say will change her. She needs to find a personal benefit in the change within and make it herself. I like Dawyal's suggestion to just include her in activities you are doing for yourself, but without explicitly mentioning why she is being included.
In my experience, while I could rationalize that these people loved me, I hated myself even more for being deserving of such intense concern. That said, everyone is different, so you should certainly take my personal baggage with a grain of salt!
I'm another one that has no idea what flavour of ice cream Chubby Hubby might be but if it is B&J's then I'm sure it is wonderful and so full of fat it is making my arteries fill up with plaque just at the thought.
I am here to post an update. I am afriad that the past 2 days have yielded more stress than I am used too and I have not handled it well. I am making better choices, but am not where I need to be. I did weigh in last night and faced the weight that I have gained. That is step 1. Hopefully alot of the stress will be relieved after tonight!!!!
Sea - Boy, that is tough. I'm not sure that words are not going to be enough. If you really want to help, you need to get involved. I don't recall what your program is, but could you join WW together? Join a gym together? You could talk to her, but only action is going to get the job done.
I craved that ice cream all day. When my husband woke up he said "You had ice cream for breakfast!" (he saw the lid in the garbage) FOOD PORN AHEAD - so for all of you who are missing out. Here is a description...Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby Ice Cream - Fudge-Covered Peanut Butter-Filled Pretzels in Vanilla Malt Ice Cream Rippled with Fudge & Peanut Butter
) and I'm really thrilled that you've learned that you can regain control and own your next action. What a thing to learn about yourself! Now you're all about TODAY, baby!! 
It sounds rather cannibalistic though... 
