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Old 03-05-2005, 01:34 AM   #1
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Default OT - advice needed

As many of you know I have a pretty stressful job, even though it's just retail. Well it blew up in my face today! I went to my manager and district manager early in the week with some major complaints, but also with the knowledge nothing could be done, and I also asked them not to act on my complaints. I just needed some advice on how to deal with the situation. In a fit of word vomit (I was incredibly mad because I was scheduled for a day I told them I could not work, and it was changed 3 times in one day) I told my manager how the assistant manager and 3rd key holder were plotting to have her removed from the store so they could control it. I was told this multiple times by the two girls, who were also the people who changed my schedule and were rude when I said I couldn't work.

Anyways! I was of the understanding that whatever I said to my manager and district manager was to be confidential. Today I was taken to the back office, where I was written up for "gossip" because my manager went to the assistant manager and asked her if what I said was true (the assistant is a coward, and would deny), of course.. she denied it. I apparently signed something that says I won't gossip, and that if I don't make a visible improvement by May 1, I will be written up again, which makes me unable to get a raise (even though I became a keyholder, even though I didn't need to). I don't know what to do, I was crying for like 45 minutes, and was told that my previous complaints were "all in your head", because I couldn't come up with a specific example. Even though I told them, I couldn't prove it, but it was a feeling (the assistant and 3rd key tend to exclude everyone). I don't know what to do, I thought I was doing the right thing by going to my manager and district manager, but they completely betrayed my trust. Not only that, they have made work a completely uncomfortable situation for me. I know this is long winded, I just feel so hurt and betrayed, and can no longer trust anyone I work with. Quitting isn't an option until I get another job. I just don't know what to do, I will definitely start looking for a job but I am not working every single weekday.

I can admit that I was wrong to pass that information along to my manager, but I also feel it was her responsibility to keep what I said confidential. Also, my district manager went to my manager and told her everything I said! I need advice! What do I do? I know I need to call my manager tomorrow and let her know that I feel she betrayed my trust, and to let her know that I don't know what I signed. I also need to know what exactly my district manager told her of our conversation. help!!!!

-Aimee
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Old 03-05-2005, 03:39 AM   #2
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Sorry to hear it went so rough for you at work. I think I would just leave it alone for now and really up my effort for job seeking. You seem to really be unhappy with where you are. So I would just turn all my thoughts and energy into a new job. I hope you can find something you like soon I can see how hard this is on you.
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Old 03-05-2005, 07:30 AM   #3
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Aimee... I have to agree with Howie here. By going to your manager and telling her that you feel betrayed is only going to piss her off. (no matter if you are right or not) Last time you spoke with him/her you had good intentions and it blew up in your face; whose to say it won't happen again
Focus on getting a new job - I believe that no matter what you do for a living it should not be that stressful.

Good Luck to you.

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Old 03-05-2005, 11:40 AM   #4
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I have to go with Charbar and Howie on this. However, i would not slam the door on them. If you find another job and resign, do it professionnaly: 2 weeks notice, no grieviances letter, etc.... You never know, you may need profesionnal references from them someday...
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Old 03-05-2005, 12:58 PM   #5
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Yep...I agree with the others, your work environment sucks, and you need a new one. Easier said than done, I guess, but you shouldnt have to work daily ina situation like that.
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Old 03-05-2005, 02:04 PM   #6
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MY job actually isn't allowed to give references, some company policy. It's very weird, I work for one of the largest Canadian retail chains (they own 9 different chains of stores), and this is what they feel is appropriate. I will get a hold of a copy of the paper I signed, just because I don't know what it is that I signed. As it stands though, if I want a personal reference, I wouldn't trust these people to do that.

I did call this 1888 number my company has posted if you have a problem and can't go to your manager, and I talked to them about this situation.. because essentially I am being written up for telling the truth. It's gone to the head of human resources, and I was assured the file wouldn't be seen by my district manager.

I know I dug my own grave by trusting them, and now I just have to face the consequences. Who know telling the truth could feel so bad?

I do have Monday off of work, and I will be out applying for jobs, and if I get hired (Starbucks is actually famous for hiring people immediately), I will give my notice. They've broken me in the worst way.

-Aimee
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Old 03-05-2005, 03:40 PM   #7
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Good luck, Aimee!
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Old 03-05-2005, 03:49 PM   #8
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I felt so bad reading your post, Aimee. My dad worked in retail for a bunch of years at a huge chain here in the US and had a horrendous experience at the end.

You obviously have a lot of spirit and integrity. This will soon be in the past for you. Don't let it break you, but let it make you stronger and better able to deal with whatever you may come across in the working world.

Take care.
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Old 03-05-2005, 04:24 PM   #9
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I know my voice is new here... but I think you were very brave. I am so sorry you are in this difficult situation. Good Luck in finding that next job. I know that good karma will come your way soon.... Lori
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Old 03-05-2005, 09:49 PM   #10
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Tell them to off. Seriously, it is retail, they do not care about you as a person. And if they can't give you a reference, don't bother giving them the 2 weeks. One week should be sufficient, but be ready to be treated like from the time you give your notice til the time you leave, regardless of how many weeks you give them.

Starbuks is a good idea, good luck sweetie w/an awesome name!!!
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Old 03-06-2005, 01:33 PM   #11
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well i know what i would do get a new job and quit very publically and very obnoxiously infront of as many customers as possible! but i'm vindictive like that
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Old 03-06-2005, 06:49 PM   #12
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Oh, I'm extremely vindictive, and it's worse because I know all their secrets, all their deepest darkest fears.. you can do some nasty things with that. But alas karma would come and kick my arse, so I'm going to fight them on a level that won't compromise my integrity.

Thank you all for the replies, I was feeling very down and out because of what happened, and it helps a lot to know there are people out there who don't think I was wrong in this. I'm not a very affectionate person.. but let's all get in for a big group hug!

-Aimee
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Old 03-06-2005, 11:29 PM   #13
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Aimee, just because your company isn't allowed to give references it doesn't mean that someone won't call your manager and talk to her. If your manager is po'd at you she might just beak off about your regardless of the policy because how are you going to find out unless the person who called for the new job tells you?

I've been through something kind of similar and my new policy is not to get involved in workplace politics or become really friendly with the people I work with. I'm friendly with them enough to get by but not that I am best friends or confidants with anyone.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:27 AM   #14
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Jen - I also worked at Wal-Mart in their photo lab for 5 years, and they also don't give up references, so when I was applying for jobs I told the potential employers about their policy, and didn't provide them with the phone number. And I do not normally get involved with people at work, but when your staff is only 7 people it's really hard not to. Infact, they plan dinners, and outtings to unite the staff because it really has to be a team effort. I also don't talk to these people about my life, I just listen to them, they know very few details about my life.

As for workplace politics, I did get caught up in this one, it's really hard to watch 5 people gang up on one person, and trying to get her fired. I know she can stand up for herself, but it's so hard for me to watch people lie, cheat, and purposely discredit someone all behind her back. I should have just let it go, and held it in..

-Aimee
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Old 03-07-2005, 01:37 AM   #15
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Aimee -

Girl, I have sooo been there.

When I was "forced out" of my job, i was written up for 27 grievences. Basically, if i came back to work and sneezed, I would get fired. I felt like total crap. And I still curse when i drive pass the exit that the place is located. And if i ran into her in a dark alley... you get the idea. And what BS! It's not GOSSIP if you go to your BOSS with it. Holy bejesus! Someone is a moron at this company.

My advice on obtaining a new job, when you interview - let them know what happened at your previous job. Phrase it in a manner that flatters you but doesn't martyr you (no one wants to hire the martyr). It may keep you out of the first cut from some jobs but the earlier posters are right. Just because they can't give references, doesn't mean that they can't tell your new employer stuff "off the record." That's a trick from an insurance company I worked for a long time ago. They weren't allow to give references but if someone called they would say, "This will have to be off the record..." and then give them the dirt.
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