Well after being in denial for about two weeks that I had actually fallen off the wagon, I've decided to stop being dragged behind it and get back on. This is the second time since starting in October. I had to restart in November. I'm restarting again in January. Up until a few days ago, I was just struggling with exercising. I was still doing pretty good with the eating and then all of sudden *wham! pow! sock!* the eating plan went down the toilet. I'm starting to feel like I'm not really serious about this weight loss thing. That if I really was serious I would have these setbacks. I actually just thought about giving up until I could 'get serious.' Then I remembered that all of you have had setbacks at some point but have gotten back on the horse and rode it to success.
So I went and got a coffee and have been sitting at my computer most of the morning breaking up my goals into smaller more manageable daily bits because I really believe that I'm trying to do too much. I have other goals that I'm trying to acheive and the internal pressure is high. Something had to give.
As far as my weight loss, my goals are to walk at least a half hour a day, drink 8 glasses of water and avoid sugar (again!). That's it. Once I've got a handle on that, I'll move onto the next goal which will be whatever I'm ready for at that time.
The good news is that somehow through the infinite grace of the universe, I've been holding at 323. I haven't gained any weight but I haven't lost any either.
One of the things I really want to work on is refocusing myself on not how much my body weighs but what it can do. I've got this idea in the back of my mind that I might start training for some type of marathon.
A friend of mine suggested going to an overeaters anonymous meeting. Although it sounds like a good idea and I've heard that the group offers a lot of support, I just have this image in my head of having to stand up and say 'Hi, my name is Dharma and I'm a foodaholic.' Something about the whole anonymous thing just has this negative connotation for me. I don't know. I'm just not comfortable with that idea.
Anyway, I don't expect anyone to reply to this. This is really me talking to myself but sometimes I need to type it out and see it on the screen. I think I should get a blog.