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Struggling not to fall back into old habit

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Old 11-22-2004, 03:09 PM   #1
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Default Struggling not to fall back into old habit

Feeling kind of bummed today and struggling not to reach for food for comfort. I will be alone for Thanksgiving and Christmas and feel sad about that. DH and DD are going up to Buffalo, NY for Thanksgiving and down to Houston, TX at Christmas. My work is so stupid about time off at the holidays, so I can not get enough days off to go with them. We get either the eve or the day of the holiday off but can not get any other days ~ that doesn't do any good for those of us with families who live at a distance. They wonder why people are depressed at the holidays. It is going to be a sturggle all through the holidays, but worse on those days. I will be glad when the holidays are over. I have a lot to be thankful for ~ I will try to focus on that. Sorry to whine ~ thanks for letting me and listening.
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Old 11-22-2004, 03:25 PM   #2
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That is a pain. I am not suprised you feel 'bummed.'
Maybe you could have an alternative special day ie Christmas a little early so you can do something special with your DH and DD too.
Do you like pampering yourself? I know it isn't the same but on those days perhaps you could run a hot bath, put on a face pack, read a good book and have a nice glass of wine?
What a shame we all live so far apart!
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Old 11-22-2004, 03:31 PM   #3
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Oh and forgot to say. Being the big comfort eater I can be. It's not going to make you feel better. You've lost 20 pounds - you are doing so well. Don't let your bosses rob you of your weight loss progress as well as a decent holiday.
A big big for what you have achieved so far!!!
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Old 11-22-2004, 04:09 PM   #4
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I agree with Annie in having an alternative holiday celebration when you are all home.

Try to re-frame how you view the actual day of Thanksgiving or Xmas if you will be home alone. Many people would kill for some good old 'me' time!! Pamper yourself!! Read a good book, cook a healthy meal, get some exercise, rent some videos....whatever you find enjoyable. You don't have to put up with hectic holiday travel, the in-laws or crabby relatives.
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Old 11-22-2004, 04:29 PM   #5
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I'm with Vivian and Annie all the way. Celebrate early and on those days make them all about you. Take your alone time to reflect on how well you are doing and pamper yourself. I know it does not seem fair that you can't go, but just try to make the best of it that you can. It won't make you happy to comfort eat after you have done it. That will only be more depressing. Just keep in mind that you have come this far. Find solutions that will work for you and make the holidays the best you can.
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Old 11-22-2004, 07:45 PM   #6
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Hey don't let that spoil your holiday. Make a day for yourself out of it. Get some of your favorite movies or books have a nice dinner or go out for dinner and let someone else pamper you. I know you will miss your family but you can still have a nice Thanksgiving.

This is so strage because I have a friend in the same town as you and his family goes away at the holidays also. They have a greenhouse to take care of so they can't both leave at the same time. What's funny is I think they go to New York also. Only difference is he stays home and his wife leaves. Ever heard of Moon Dance Farms? He goes by the name Horseshoe to most.
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Old 11-22-2004, 07:50 PM   #7
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I was just checking and I guess my friend is in Efland, NC. I believe that is pretty close to you though.
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Old 11-22-2004, 10:17 PM   #8
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oh gayle. that really sucks. but i'm sure there will be a lot of your 3fc family here for you. we don't have plans to go anywhere so i know i'll be around here or there.
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Old 11-23-2004, 03:36 AM   #9
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I'm sorry...

Being alone around the holidays suck. I can't really add too much to the suggestions already put forth except hang in there.
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Old 11-23-2004, 09:35 AM   #10
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Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. I am better today ~ I will be ok that day ~ plenty of stuff here to do to keep busy. I think part of my problem, is that I didn't use to mind when everybody went away ~ but guess why ~ because that was my time to go food crazy and eat as I pleased with nobody looking over my shoulder. Now, I can't look forward to that, have to find something else to do instead. All part of the journey.

Hey Howie ~ I see your friend's town on the map. I have a friend who lives in your town. One of my roommates from college. She is a school teacher there. Small world.

Take care all
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Old 11-23-2004, 11:14 AM   #11
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Yes it is a small world. Glad your feeling better.
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Old 11-23-2004, 11:45 AM   #12
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Being alone on the holidays real bites. I agree you should have an early one with your family.If you lived in my neck of the woods,(Calif), I'd love to have you come to our house. I believe that on Thanksgiving and Christmas the more the better.If I had to be alone I agree with trying to make those days as fun as possible.Have you checked your community calender for those days? Many cities have special programs and events planned.Maybe go see a play?
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Old 11-23-2004, 11:59 AM   #13
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(((Gayle))) Take all the great advice here and have your own private holidays with your family either before or after the actual calendar events - the date on the calendar matters much less than being together with your loved ones. Most of my family is in England and we've had our share of "Christmas in May".

Still, being on your own on those days is difficult, so I agree that you should make it as pleasurable as possible (without overindulging in caloric goodies). Rent those videos/DVDs that only you want to see, spoil yourself with a pampering facial, home spa, etc. or do something different that'll make you feel great about yourself, like volunteering at the children's ward of a hospital on those days or helping cook and serve Christmas dinner at a local homeless shelter.
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:15 PM   #14
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Bummer. I'm so sorry to hear they won't be there. I agree with the others to pamper yourself that day and take care of you. Maybe make a couple of your favorite dishes (in single serving sizes of course) and then when it's time to eat, call DH and eat together. It's not much but I know sometimes just the sound of DH's voice can help me when I'm having a bad day.

I guess I've just been super over stressed this past week and I'm seriously thinking of skipping the t-day dinners and staying home to catch up on sleep. I've had a rough couple of days and the thought of spending the day alone without having to deal with ANYONE sounds great right now. (Of course my other side, the responsible one, will probably win out and I'll be at all 3 dinners)
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:45 PM   #15
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I agree with everyone else that you can take the day and make it special..
I don't know if you are interested in doing this but I was in a similar situation as you one year and I volunteered at the homeless shelter in my town to serve Thanksgiving dinner. I was so bummed that I couldn't see my family on Thanksgiving but the fellowship and gratitude from all the people made me feel so much better. It made me feel really good and I felt that I had contributed to the greater good. Afterwards I came home and made a special dinner for myself, a glass of wine, a great book. It ended up being a great holiday!
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