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Old 11-12-2004, 03:46 PM   #1
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Default Struggling..

Well I figured I'd write a note about this since I know it happens to everyone.

So a couple weeks ago, my life somehow changed, work got busier, school got busier, my social life got busier (although no guy yet... ), I caught a bad cold, I screwed up my knee again, I starting getting upset about the loose skin that is already showing up, etc. So things happen and all this happened to me at once and I stopped eating as good as I have been and I stopped exercising as much. I used to put in the extra effort to fit in extra exercise in, but for the last couple weeks I haven't felt like putting in the extra effort. I have still been going to the gym 3-4 times a week, which is better than nothing and I have been having a few good eating days out of the week.

So what is the temptation? The temptation is to say "screw it, just do whatever until the first of the year after the holidays are over and then you'll get back into the swing of things" I've been lucky, I haven't gained weight (or maybe I'm up a couple lbs) in the last 3 weeks that this has been happening, but if I stopped trying until the first of the year, it is possible that I could gain a significant amount of weight back. So that isn't an option, I must what I can to get through the rest of the year. Then I get the temptations of "well just do better next week" but then I say well why not do better tomorrow? or the next meal? or I don't know... but postponing isn't a good idea and I know it.

What have I learned? I can't give up, I know that, it isn't an option. I must keep my diet and my exercise on my mind constantly, even if it doesn't mean the best choices, I can't forget what my overall goals need to be. I also believe that building muscle has helped my metabolism and it is the reason that I haven't gained more than a couple pounds in the last few weeks. I don't know what I'd do if I was over 300 lbs again, I don't think I could take it.

So what am I doing? I'm struggling, every moment, every hour, every day struggling to not let the bad choices that all around me influence me. I am also struggling to get myself to the gym so that I do at least get some exercise in, even if it isn't stellar.

I've also been reading posts here to help me keep weightloss in my mind, but I just haven't been posting as much. It is hard to post when you are busy eating something you shouldn't

So to everyone out there, keep up the good work, there will be lows and highs and as long as we can see ourselves through the lows, we'll be fine.
You can't out-exercise poor eating habits.

Last edited by nelie; 11-12-2004 at 05:35 PM.
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Old 11-12-2004, 04:26 PM   #2
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I am far from the best advice-giver on here, and I'm sure you'll get some major words of wisdom from others, but here's my take. You have been at this very, very hard for a long time. Certainly your mind is tired, and I suspect your body is tired as well.

What if you were to take the holidays off from dieting and focus on maintaining? I know from everything I've read on Maintainers that they're similar processes, but I think they're also psychologically different. You could look at this as a way to practice sustaining a weight for a while. Set your trigger point where you will jump back into diet action.

You've done *so well for so long* that it's not a real surprise to me that you'd hit a point like this. It takes so much mental and physical energy to lose weight; maybe you need to let yourself off the hook a little -- just a little. It's really not a race -- it's about the rest of our lives.

Just my $.02. Hang in there and use us as a sounding board when you need to!!!!
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Old 11-12-2004, 04:42 PM   #3
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I too have been struggling as well. even with my great week last week, I'm finding it hard to make it through this week. I started out my meal plan early in the week, but never finished it and ate maybe 2 of 5 healthy lunches this week.

I truly think it is the season. we all start to think of the big family feasts coming up, all the sweet treats beckoning us. (For me it's mom's cheese log and not so much the sweets). So then we tell ourselves. I'll be "good" this week so I can pig out on Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. But then like you said life is getting more hectic. I tend to have more obligations around this time of year not just with my job.

You are doing great with making it to the gym 3-4 times a week. Since you know that you are going to be super busy and life is hectic, it may be time to set a new goal until after the first of they year. Maybe try out maintaining. I know that sounds silly when you are still a ways from your ultimate goal but it may be just what you need to keep from getting discouraged when the scale doesn't go down.

You have to wonder just how many of us have felt just like you, but been afraid to post this:
Originally Posted by nelie
I've also been reading posts here to help me keep weightloss in my mind, but I just haven't been posting as much. It is hard to post when you are busy eating something you shouldn't .
Kudos to you for admitting that yes, you aren't making the healthiest of choices, and yes you are aware that it is sabatoging your weightloss efforts and yes you are going to do something about it.

I think you have made some great changes in your life and I know you're not willing to go back to your old habits. I know you can do this.

Halloween Goal

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Old 11-12-2004, 05:04 PM   #4
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Hi Nelie,

Ditto what Jennifer and Dawnyal said. Remeber, evan Dr. A knows that there will be times when you need to "take a break" and he designed the SBD to accomodate that. You have done so well so far and your determination inspires us all .

Since you are starting to feel a little stressed, why not plan a softer version of SBD for the rest of the year (or maybe just a week or two). Don't give up completely - you know you won't like what happens if you do. On days you feel like doing more, do more. But do something.

Remember, we are all here sending you good vibes and here is a warm for you.

"Nothing more beautiful than knowing your worth" - Fantasia (I'm Doin Me)

Become more aware and deliberate in my food choices. Thanks Sunshine73

My mirror, scale, and lab results are the food journal my body keeps.

SW: 306 (9-9-04)
HW: 334 (3-1-06)
CW: 314 (6-23-09) back up from 298 working towards . . . . . . .
GW: healthy or 170

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Old 11-12-2004, 05:18 PM   #5
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Nelie -- My heart goes out to you... We ALL go through this, honest to god whether you have 100# or 10# to loose we ALL struggle DAILY... Some days it's a minute by minute that I have to make the right decisions, literally minute by minute... Don't despair. Maintain for the holiday season, make the healthiesfood choices possible considering the circumstances, go to the gym when your schedule permits it but try to fit it in, it is the best medicine...

Teapot -- I love your quote: "It's really not a race -- it's about the rest of our lives." Perfectly said...are you listening Nelie?
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Old 11-12-2004, 11:48 PM   #6
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I have found myself in a very similar situation - and I am (successfully so far) taking the maintaining route for the time being. Personally, I think it is really really important to acknowledge how far you have come, continue to enjoy all the benefits of feeling fitter, more energised, looking better etc etc, and feel good about yourself - and to see the decision to maintain as a positive thing, not a compromise. I have kept many of the good habits going, which is what is helping me to maintain, and I have found it really helpful to focus on the good habits rather than beat myself up for some of the bad ones.

Hang on in there, and be good to yourself.....
C l a i r e

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Current 193
Goal 140
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Old 11-13-2004, 02:28 AM   #7
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Hi Nelie! I'm really glad you posted. I was just wondering the other day where you'd gone off to, and hoped you weren't having a rough time. I'm not sure I have any words of wisdom for you, other than to hang in there! It sounds like burnout, and I think we've ALL been there. Just remember that perfection is not sustainable for the long haul. The secret is how to find a balance of "healthy imperfection." You have worked out so hard and racked up so many points for perfect eating, water, exercise, etc. that you could just be tired, both mentally and physically. I think the idea of focusing on maintenance may be just the ticket to give you a rest and revitalize you in order to start losing again.

Stay in touch and let us know how you're doing! We care and want to help however we can!
Start: 285 / Now: 251 / Goal: 145 / 34 lbs. gone and counting!
Winter Solstice Challenge: Start: 263 / Goal by 12/21: 243 / 12 down 8 to go!
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Old 11-13-2004, 09:20 AM   #8
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Hi Nelie, you're doing wonderful, just remember that. I promise we've all been or will be there at some point, it's just part of the journey and completely natural. As I was reading, I was thinking about what makes this different for us from all those others who just need to "diet" away some excess pounds. For us, this is a new way of life. Much like taking a shower or brushing our teeth, it's something we just do, day in and day out. I have to say; Iím struggling a bit to find a way to put this because I certainly do not mean to offend anyone, in any way. But I feel like if you put this on hold, then you would be putting your life on hold, and where would that get you? Part of adjusting to this new way of living is being able to find the balance even when the road is rocky. Try thinking into the future a bit, when you hit your goal and are working on maintenance. Life, with all it's stresses will most certainly, still be going on around you. So, would putting your maintenance on hold while you work through some life issues still be a valid option at that point? I would venture to guess probably not because you know exactly what that would lead to, and then what would be the point of all that hard work youíve been doing, just to regain weight? I feel like the same rings true here as well. This is something we have to learn to do every single day, for the rest of our lives, no matter what kind of curve ball life is throwing us. Maybe it's just a matter of needing to shake things up a bit to get out of the slump you've fallen into. Time to rededicate and refocus your efforts. You could use this opportunity to prove to yourself that you can do this, even during the most challenging times. I hope you'll consider what I've said, but ultimately only do what is best for you. After all, this is your life, and you've got to live it on your own terms. Good luck Nelie, I'll be thinking about you.

New goal: staying binge free and losing those last few again, but for the last time!!
"Never trade what you want at the moment for what you want the most." -unknown
"Your power is in your ability to decide." -fortune cookie
"Hope; after a storm birds always sing." -unknown
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Old 11-13-2004, 09:29 AM   #9
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Nelie - You have done an amazing job so far! I look at you as a role model .. I don't get a chance to go to the gym ... you go 3 to 4 times .... I would love to have your motivation for that!

You can do this ....I know you can!

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Old 11-13-2004, 10:13 AM   #10
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Berverly -- Your post is a keeper, I've put it in a document!!!! That was soooo well said!!!!

Nelie -- That is from someone who's been there done that, so I would take her advise any day for sure....
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Old 11-13-2004, 12:27 PM   #11
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Nelie, I've been struggling with my response to you. My heart just goes out to you and I wish I could pull out some magic formula that I could package in some profound way that would give you just what you need right now. But I can't. I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. For some of us, losing weight and living on plan are like having a second job; it's so time- and energy-consuming to do all that you have to to achieve the amazing results that you have. Your success thus far wasn't achieved by accident! You haven't been "dabbling" here; you've invested an amazing amount of resources in transforming your life, busting your &*% to work towards your goals.....and while you've come a long way, I know you still have a road before you. While I can completely relate to your challenge, I'm still in awe of your achievements and discipline and motivation. You have inspired me more than you know, and I respect you so much.

But I know you're not a bottomless pit of neverending motivation and positive determination. Noone is. It's emotionally and physically tiring, working as hard as you do, and when things speed up, socially, societally or personally, it's even harder. (I'm there with you, sister.)

Now, in reading others' responses and trying to figure out how I was going to best respond to your post, I've had mixed feelings. I wasn't sure taking a little break from "losing" and focusing instead on maintenance through the holidays was the best course -- but then again, if that's what you need right now, then it sure beats the heck out of the alternative! I didn't want to step on any toes -- and I wasn't sure I was right! -- but I kept thinking, "What if she just shakes up her routine, or just really hunkers down, or something!.....I just think it's really important that she continues and doesn't put it on the shelf for the reason that it's a lot harder during this period." See, I KNOW that you're capable of managing this, Nelie, regardless of the external stuff going on.

But I was afraid of not supporting you, or giving you what you need right now. I want to give you the best, most caring and insightful support I possibly can (without being right there) -- and it's important to me that you know I'm on your side whatever decision you make.

Well, then along came Beverly with her astounding wisdom in tow, and I just couldn't agree more with her words. I agree with Ilene, too: Beverly knows whereof she speaks. The woman has walked a mile or two, ya' KNOW? She can say with credibility what I cannot, and I just think she's told you -- and ALL of us -- something important. Think ahead also to how you'll feel in January after all the different scenarios, ala, "If I do X, I will feel Z," etc.

I want to be really clear, Nelie: Whatever you decide, I will have your back and wholly support you, without judgement. I'm just encouraging you to really listen to Beverly's advice.

Check out my blog!
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Old 11-13-2004, 02:54 PM   #12
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Thanks everyone for the advice. I started thinking about to when I first started focusing on weight loss back in May. I started slowly, not stressing about being perfect but trying my best and then improving as I went along. That is what I am basically doing at the moment, every day may not be perfect but I'm not worried about perfection, I'm worried about improving.
You can't out-exercise poor eating habits.
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Old 11-13-2004, 04:18 PM   #13
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Hi Nellie,

Hang in there ~ you are not alone. You will make it through this holliday season ~ you can do it. You are another inspiring lady!!
One day at a time ~ never giving up!!

Nobody can force you to have a certain attitude. But life will go so much better if you will simply choose to be positive. When you wake up, choose to be happy. Choose to be grateful for the day. (Joel Osteen)

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Old 11-14-2004, 11:14 AM   #14
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Nelie, I'm in the same line of thinking as Beverly. I only take that stand point because it is what I would do for myself. Ultimately, you have to make the choice that you know is best for you. I know that if I tried to just maintain for awhile it could possibly make me become to comfortable with that. So, I rock on everyday and so shall you. I know I have problems. It seems I think of food every five minutes of the day. It is horrible and I hate it! When I quit smoking that was easy. I don't have to have cigarettes in my house but on the other hand I do have to have food in my house. I just want you to know that you are not alone. I struggle also. As for that excess skin, it bums me to to have it. All I can do is work harder at the gym and then when that won't help anymore I will have to make further choices. I won't jog on the treadmill at the gym because you can hear my excess skin on the bottom of my abdomen flopping around. It is disgusting. But, I might not like it but I am going to get something like a girdle to help that problem when I exercise. Not a perfect solution for the excess skin but a workable one. My, my listen to me ramble on..hehe..My last thought Nelie, you are going through a low time. It's your inner strength that will do the talking for you. You can get through this low. You may be unhappy now but if you gain back your weight you most certainly will be at a much lower point than you are now. You go girl!!

If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught, you might be able to help someone else who's now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that's what it's all about after all...

~ Anonymous ~

Highest weight: 261
Starting weight: 248 August 26
Current weight: 193
Current pounds lost: 55 lbs
Goal weight: 145 by August 26, 2006

Smoke Free as of July 1, 2004 (Started back smoking)
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Old 11-14-2004, 12:05 PM   #15
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Nelie, I can't add anything here that comes close to what has already been said, but
you can get through this. Good luck.
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