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I've lost the drive...

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Old 11-01-2004, 10:51 AM   #1
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Default I've lost the drive...

Iíve lost the drive, the determination. Help me get back on track.

Iíve been on again off again for about 2 weeks now. Not making terrible choices, not gaining weight but I have totally lost the drive and excitement of it all. I feel blah.

I wish I could find the ďsparkĒ the ďpepĒ as I felt before, I was so passionate about being healthy and allowing no wrong food to pass into my body. I was obsessed with exercising, drinking water and taking vitamins. The past two weeks, I keep telling myself that Iíll do better tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes! Iíve made wrong choice after wrong choice.. I am scared to gain any weight back. I look in the mirror and even though I have not gained, I think I see my stomach getting bigger. I feel totally disgusted with myself. Only a few weeks ago, I felt so good, fit and trimÖ Today I feel bad, saggy and fat! I want to get to goal.. I want to be healthyÖ

Today I start anew. I think Iím on track and on target but Iíve felt that way many times before these past two weeks and it seems to take a wrong turn somewhere between lunch and bedtime. I need a swift kick in the rear here. Iíve usually been a pretty positive person when it comes to weight loss. I have definitely fallen off the bandwagon. To any of you who have gone through thisÖ what did you do to get back on track and how can I get refocused??
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Old 11-01-2004, 11:24 AM   #2
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Aw, Gretchen, I think it's perfectly natural for you to have lost some of your "drive," since you've already made such progress and almost made it to goal. Also, you're now the smallest you've been in your entire adult life, right? So it makes perfect sense that your "hunger" for loss would dissipate somewhat. I was really excited to hear that you were training for that marathon.....remember all that advice you got over at Maintainers about having an external goal? Well I think that if you focused more on some OTHER achievement than weight loss -- like FITNESS -- that you would be better off, and the weight loss would accompany it.

Before, the food thing might have been easier to manage because the stakes were higher -- "Eat this and stay fat, don't eat it and you get to be thin." Well now it's less dramatic, as there isn't so much fat to lose. NOW there's muscle to gain. Think about physical GAINS, not physical LOSSES -- and I think you'll get your mojo back.

Seriously, friend of mine, I kid you not. You're ok, just beating the wrong horse. (Now how's THAT for a wholly unpleasant analogy. I apologize!)

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Old 11-01-2004, 11:31 AM   #3
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Hang in there Gretchen ~ you will get it back. Take it one day at a time ~ one moment at a time if you have to. You can do this!!!
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Old 11-01-2004, 11:43 AM   #4
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Maybe give your body a little break Gretchen. Set a different kind of goal - you are so close to goal anyhow.. maybe try to maintain for 2 months. From what I understand maintaining is supposed to be harder then losing. (I can't wait to find out!!)
You have been doing so well - hang in there. This journey is a cycle - there will be ups and downs with your emotions.

Your body is trying to tell you something right now. Enjoy how far you have come!

We are here for you!

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Old 11-01-2004, 11:44 AM   #5
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I wonder if you need to look into some new activities that you haven't tried before to get yourself remotivated. I don't know what you do for exercise but you could always find some new exciting activities to try ie yoga, tai chi, ballroom dancing, an aerobics class, rock climbing, skiing, snowshoeing, horseback riding...really the possibilities are endless. Also maybe you are stuck in the same rut of what you are eating. I know I get supremely bored of eating because it seems like I always make the same meals. Maybe you could take a lowfat cooking class or buy a cookbook and make a new recipe everynight for a couple of weeks. Just some thoughts.
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Old 11-01-2004, 01:02 PM   #6
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When I originally lost 190 lbs I got to a point where I thought maybe Iím ok just being here. Iím tired of losing weight. I think we all come to that point. However I did not make any efforts to maintain so I shot right back up. Maybe you need to see if your body is happy at your current weight. Like Dana said try and make a goal to maintain. Give yourself new goals like training for the marathon.

If you know you want to lose the remaining weight you know what to do. And you know you can do it. Come here everyday and check in get the support you need. I noticed you had not been around much so make it a point to be around. If you keep company that is doing good and making good choices you are more likely to begin doing that yourself.
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Old 11-01-2004, 01:05 PM   #7
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.When I need motivation I have only to look as far as my sister. I could never tell her because I don't want to hurt her but she is my inspiration.I know it's hard to keep up your spirit when everyone around you is eating pizza or It's your birthday and you have to insist on NO CAKE.When that happons maybe try to find some little way to treat your self so you don't feel so deprived. Maybe a new trinket or flowers. I feel good about myself when I do some little home improvement project like make some new curtins or refinish my old rocker.

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Old 11-01-2004, 01:57 PM   #8
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Hi Gretchen,

First of all I want to say that you look fabulous in your picture. You've come a long way and should pat yourself on the back for it. Don't put yourself down. It takes a lot of committment and self discipline to stick with a program and see it through. One of the things I struggle with is follow through. I'll start a project and then somehow it just never ends up getting finished. So it's heartening to see someone who has (or is close to) finishing their weight loss project. It gives me hope that I'm not a lost cause!

Anyway I can't really add much more to what everyone else says except to maybe pose a question about something I read just recently. A lot of people are afraid of failure but there are also some who are afraid of success. Could it be that you are so close to acheiving your goal that the thought of actually doing so has caused a bit of panic? I'm miles away from my goal but I already know that when I get close I'll have to deal with thoughts of whether or not I'll be able to maintain the success, will I be the same person, what will I do with nothing to 'work on', just stuff that you wouldn't think you'd have to deal with.

You said that you start out with good intentions but somewhere during the day they get lost. I would suggest that you make a point of watching yourself and your thoughts throughout the day. We talk ourselves out doing what's right for us. So when you find yourself doing that, maybe question why or even better doing the opposite. i.e. not wanting to exercise, go out and exercise.

Good Luck and lots of hugs. Keep us posted as to how things are going
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Old 11-01-2004, 02:04 PM   #9
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I feel ok. I think I look Ok. BUT I know I could feel great and look even better. The problem I have is that I used to not go off track and if I did, it was for a second and then right back to it. Lately, I get on the scale and see my weight, no gain, even after eating some bad stuff and think OK, no gain, I'll keep this under control and if I gain a pound or two I'll bust butt to lose it in a few days. I am at 155. I was at around 150 before my sisters wedding. I am having the TOM so I am sure that has added a pound or two to the total. Also, the recent times I have weighed have been at night so I also take that into consideration. I did expect to gain a pound or two from the week at my parents for the wedding. The numbers aren't scaring me. What is scaring me is that I was so committed and focused on the new healthy lifestyle and now I don't feel so "hard core" about it. I want to be but I have a severe lack of motivation it seems. Today, I am 100% on plan to this point. I will go home and eat my chicken and veggies and light popcorn as a snack and that will be it for the day. I'll be right on track. Its just lately, I've been having the cravings for candy and icecream. I don't even really like candy or icecream. I love Chinese food, and I had some on Friday. I did feel sick after eating that type of food, my stomach hurt for days.

My body is testing me I think...

Thanks for all the feedback thus far.. Keep it coming!!
Oh Pam.. I have been treating myself!! I got new living room furniture this weekend.. I'm lovin' that!! I am fulfilled in the treating myself department!
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Old 11-01-2004, 02:08 PM   #10
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I go through periods like that myself, and I just tell myself I have to hang on, and the spark will come back. And, it always has. The first time that happened in previous programs, that's when I just quit or drifted away. But, this time I was determined to hang on no matter what it took, and sure enough the energy returned. I think it IS OK to go through periods of maintaining, as long as you're still making reasonably good choices and you are doing what you can to stay engaged. I believe it's possible to worry something like this to death -- the more you worry about it, the more stressed you get, and the less likely it is to come back, which makes you worry even more ....
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Old 11-01-2004, 02:49 PM   #11
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Maybe you don't need to be hardcore anymore? It's possible you've reached the point where it just comes down to lifestyle, and since it's YOUR lifestyle, having chinese food once a month isn't going to be the end of the world. And I have to agree with some other people, maybe your body is ready to maintain for a little while. And focusing on something else might help you get back on track? Also you said it's your TOM, I always crave crazy foods around that time, and I tend to get a little depressed, and generally feel bad about my body, doesn't matter my size (even when I was a size 6 I hated my whole body during my TOM).. you do sound a little off.. could it be from that at all? Hormones can be a pain in the butt sometimes! And you ARE healthy!
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Old 11-01-2004, 02:51 PM   #12
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Gretchen your new picture looks great it looks like we had the same idea. I changed mine last night. I know it's hard to do but you know as well as I do after a day of success the next day is much more easy. Same with the cravings. I'm sure you ate sweets and bad food during the wedding week so now your body is telling you it wants more. So once you deny it those things the cravings will go down. I'm not for denying myself all the time but sometimes we have to. I know I don't crave cheeseburgers like I used to. I hardly ever eat them now. Maybe once a month if I want a treat and really want one.

So just stay on plan today and I promise tomorrow will be much better.
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Old 11-01-2004, 03:34 PM   #13
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You've gotten some excellent advice. All I can offer you is {{{hugs}}} and to let you know that you DO have the determination to get there. This is a phase, and it, too, shall pass.
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Old 11-01-2004, 03:59 PM   #14
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I think you're doing great and going through the same thing we've all gone through. The key though is not make this an excuse to just throw in the towel and lose all the new healthy habits you've gained thus far.

You've come a long way in a short amount of time. Maybe your body is telling you it wants to just hang out for a bit before hitting it again.

I've been just "hanging out" for the past two months and I've finally decided it is time for me to hit it hard again. But for me, I needed that or I would've given up a long time ago and would already be back in the 290s.

Like the others posted, maybe this is a test for you to see how well you do at maintaining?
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Old 11-01-2004, 04:08 PM   #15
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Big hugs to you, Gretchen! I just wanted to add that you've been a total inspiration to be since I started posting here.

I think (and this is just a suspicion, because I'm not cloes to my goal like you are!) that it must be daunting to be so close to goal. here you are, 9 months later, almost done. It's a scary thing on some levels, right? It's kind of like you're almost at the end of a journey. And I know it's gotta be hard to get used to... like Sarah said, you're the smallest you've been in your entire adult life and lots of things have changed, body, health, and emotion wise.

What everyone else has said rings true. I know you won't slip becuase you've done too well and are too close to just let it go. Make smaller goals for yourself, remind yourself every day why you keep it up. You'll get there.

I really like your picture, btw.
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