Writing instead of eating ~ sorry ~ long
 

While I am writing, I can't eat, so here I am ~ trying to avoid the munchies. Kind of therapy I guess ~ when I write about things it kind of helps me sort things out. Maybe others ideas or comments will help me get my head on straight.

I wrote about our family get together on another thread. It was real nice ~ usually when I am around other people, the food damage isn't as bad ~ because I don't want others to see me be bad. Well, it didn't work that way this time. We were busy and on the go, lots of steps to climb where we were, so I hoped when I got home that I would have at least stayed the same, not so ~ the scale went up. I guess the ratio of stair climbing to munching was off. LOL. (I shouldn't be laughing, but might as well laugh as cry.)

Lots on my mind this week. Have had a bunch of days off, and have gotten sort of caught up on my rest. It feels good to feel sort of normal for a change ~ rested and feeling like doing stuff. That leads to a dilema with my work. I work the night shift 7p-7a. I have worked that in the past, but this time around (probably because of my stage of life-menopause is kind of messing things up the dr says) I don't seem to be handling it well. It was my choice to work this shift ~ I prefer it ~ less difficult people around to have to deal with. But, I can't sleep at night on my nights off and it is messing everything up. I am contemplating trying to get back on the 3-11 shift ~ I think it would be better for my health. I have mixed emotions about it all. I like the shift I am on and the people I work with. I am kind of in an unsettled place in my life, and am wishing to just finally have everything......well settled into a routine, instead of always this feeling like I don't have things like I need them to be.

Then worrying about my kids and parents. Not worrying exactly, just they are on my mind ~ things are sort of unsettled for them too. I just want everything to fall into place for everyone. For everyone to be happy. Daughter Jennifer has been sick the past couple days. Daughter Sara is unhappy in her marriage and having such mixed emotions about what to do. She has a little boy to consider and that makes it harder. Son Jason lives with Sara's family, and a time is coming soon, where they are wanting him to get a place of his own. He doesn't want to live alone, likes Texas, but feels like he can't afford to live alone. Doesn't want to share a place to live with strangers ~ thinks about moving back to Kansas City and live with a girl he knows, but knows that will cause an upset with my husband. He and his dad don't get along well and he wishes badly that they could get along better. The way their relationship is makes me feel so sad.

The day we were leaving from our family get together, my mom fell and hurt her ankles. She thought she just sprained them, but when they didn't get to feeling better, she went to get them checked and they found that she had fractured a bone in each leg. She has casts on both legs ~ is to bear no weight on one and can bear a little weight on the other. She spent the night in the hospital last night and when I talked to her today, she said they are sending her to a nursing home for some therapy before she goes home. She is in good spirits thankfully. On top of all that, their doggy died last night. I was worried about my dad ~ he gets so attached to their pets and I thought he would go to pieces. He is handling it pretty well though.

Well, if anyone made it this far ~ thank you for listening.

:grouphug: I'm not really good at advice.. but I do give good huggles :)

So *hugggggggs* and it will all be ok.. have faith.

awww gayle. you have so much going on right now, bless your heart. its so hard not to constantly worry about those you love.

i think with the work situation and all the stress you have that you should do the shift that will be better on you healthwise, at least for now.

keep your head up, we are all here if/when you need us.

Gayle-keep your chin up! It sounds like everything is crashing around you and if you can make it through this without falling off program you can make it through anything! I know it must be tough but hopefully things will come out for the best!

Gayle, thank you for sharing. I'm relaly sorry things have been not going so well for you and your family lately. And you're right, better to laugh than cry, although sometimes crying can help too. How you're feeling is completely understandable, and I hope things get sorted out for you.