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Soooo embarassed (repost from Support section)

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Old 08-10-2004, 11:04 PM   #1
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Unhappy Soooo embarassed (repost from Support section)

Someone suggested I post here with the 100lb gals, since i have that much at least to lose,... here is my dilemma:

Ok, a little about me first. I always say im gonna start something to lose weight, but I never do. i want to lose weight but I just cant start, then IF i start I cant stay motivated. Well I think I need to lose about 100 lbs, i want to, i just cant, if that makes sense..

well, today i got a phone call from a relative that I havent seen in at least a few years and she was telling me about the lapband surgery and how i need to get it and that since i dont have health insurance, that I should make a website asking ppl for donations and explaing that my life is on hold because of my weight etc. She even said that I should contact talk shows, to see if they would pay for it! She told me the name of a doctor and is calling in a few days to see what info i found out. I just happlily said "yeah,..uh huh" to whatever she said. Im so embarassed as it is about weight, i dont go anywhere and I do not let a camera get anywhere near me. i wont even look at myself in reflective surfaces like mirrors, computer screen, etc. So this does not help my mental state any. I swear I feel sick to my stomach. Sorry to lay all my junk on you guys, but I really need to talk to someone.

thanks!
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Old 08-10-2004, 11:09 PM   #2
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Heather, darlin', you've come to the right place! You have made the first step by reaching out for support, and now you're gonna get it! The ladies (and gents) here are the best group of people I've ever been associated with!! I really mean it when I say this: You CAN Do This!! Welcome to our little group!!
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Old 08-10-2004, 11:16 PM   #3
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thanks for the welcome!

I swear, i was so mortified when this relative called,.. sheesh
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Old 08-10-2004, 11:36 PM   #4
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Hi Heather!

Welcome to our board! You have come to the right place.. YOU CAN DO THIS! Trust me, it seems a lot harder than it really is. I'm not saying losing weight is easy but once you get in the groove, you're whole lifestyle changes and it keeps going in a good direction. Now, it is important to also realize that we ALL have bad days/moments and the key is learning to accept them.

Here you will find tons of motivation, support and endless resources of information. I suggest you take a look at our Plan section and see what everyone else is doing to lose weight and decide what's going to work better for you! Remember, take things in baby steps.. make little cut backs to start.. For example, switch to diet pop rather than regular, eat pretzels instead of chips... order a Kid's Meal at a fast food joint rather than a Value Meal.. It all comes in time my dear..

Let me know what I can do to do help
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Old 08-10-2004, 11:54 PM   #5
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Hi there, Heather! Welcome.

I think most of us have had negative feedback from relatives and friends.. as well-meaning as they may be, your relative's comments were uncalled for. Ask for donations online? Beg talk shows? PLEASE!

My mother had lapband surgery in May, and insurance covered it. But you know what I noticed? I took her to a few of her follow-up appointments, and talking to the people in the office there, the ones who really succeeded the most were the ones who understood the importance of the procedure and the huge changes they were going to have to make. One woman that my mom's doctor operated on (gastric bypass) went home and ate a hamburger, and it put her in the hospital for over a month. Something people don't realize that NO MATTER WHAT it's hard to break old habits.

Anyway, sorry about my little tangent there- it jsut seems that sometimes people don't realize that WLS doesn't make weight loss a piece of cake. I wish you good luck- I think we've all been (and some continue to be) in your position, and I empathize. I hope you'll surf around on the site and read some success stories (and look at some motivating photos!) and check out user plans. Reading stories and struggles has really helped me, and I hope you'll post often
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Old 08-11-2004, 12:07 AM   #6
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heather - ya done good by coming here. these folks understand.

and glad your mom is doing so well, DJS... people who've had wls STILL have a lot of work to do. old habits die hard and being left without your major coping mechanism can be miserable.

and i know what you mean about running into those people in the waiting room. at support group, we once had a guy come in a few weeks postop and PROUDLY ANNOUNCE that he'd eaten a donut from dunkin donuts. everyone gasped. and trust me, i didn't have to say a word - the room erupted on him!!!!!

his reasoning: it was free with the coffee.. among other responses to THAT one, i said 'it's bird food. not people food!!'

he never returned. what a shame...
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Old 08-11-2004, 12:53 AM   #7
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Heather,

Welcome. An important step is to recognize that you are overweight and need to work on it. So who cares if you are 100 lbs or more overweight right now? It is time to work on it for yourself and your health. It isn't about nosey relatives or anything else, it is all for YOU.

I would also encourage you to look inside yourself and realize that being fat doesn't make you ugly or worthless or something else. The reason I say this is I used to be like you, I couldn't stand my picture being taken or looking at myself in the mirror. I had extremely low self esteem. Something clicked with me that made me realize that my low self esteem was having a very negative effect on my life. I have been trying to lose weight all my life but with very little success. Once I started working on my self esteem, losing weight became easier. It isn't easy but if you don't believe in yourself or believe you are worth it, it is a very difficult process.

Also, don't think about it as 100 lbs, think of it as you need to change your lifestyle to a healthier one. You need to eat healthy to feed your body and need to exercise to create the strong beautiful body that is hiding.

Also, stay here, post, read and know you aren't alone. I hope this helps.
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Old 08-11-2004, 01:31 AM   #8
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Hi Heather Welcome to 100 Club =)

What your saying makes perfect sense. We all had to make that 1st step towards losing. It's may not be the easiest thing you've ever done but you don't have to do it alone. We're all here for you. YOU CAN LOSE!!
Feel free to vent on your off days and sing for joys on your good days! Remember that it's best to lose slow. (I have to remind myself that all the time) and read the threads. They have a wealth of info. No one weight loss program fits everyone. You need to find what works best for you. What ever you do don't give up keep at it and you'll start to feel better. Your really going to love it here we have so many wonderful ppl. I'm sure you have noticed that already by the replys that are ahead of me and I bet there will be more!
We hope to see more post!
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Old 08-11-2004, 04:22 AM   #9
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Hi Heather

Well first of all, congrats on making that first post.....that was mighty brave...

As you've seen from all the posts - you are in very good company here.....we have all in our own ways had those experiences of being ashamed, depressed, and agonised about the way our bodies are.

I think you might find that, after a while, life "doing something about it" is much easier, and much more enjoyable than life "doing nothing about it". As Nelie says, it really helps if you can find a way to care enough about yourself, and think enough of yourself, to start really taking care of yourself, your health, and your body. So don't think of it as losing 100 lbs. Think of it as a wonderful, interesting and exciting journey into a healthy world, where you will discover just how strong and beautiful you really are.

As my friends above have said.....take a look around the site, do some research into what style of eating and exercise might best work for you, and find a way to start making those small changes one day, one hour at a time.

And keep talking, posting, reading.......
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Old 08-11-2004, 03:50 PM   #10
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Thanks so much everyone, I am starting to feel better already. Today, instead of chips I had pretzels, not a big deal, but it is something, LOL

Anyway, as far as the eating plan goes, I think I am going to do the DASH diet. it is to control high blood pressure, but it is really just your basic food pyramid. Once before I did the low carb thing but since I hate most veggies, i was skipping meals and stuff because I didnt want to eat. I would eat tuna salad or a regular salad..I can barely even look at a salad now :-P It got so bad that I had an "episode". I fell and i could not move, because when i tried, everything started spinning. it was the weirdest sensation and it is hard to describe. I find that if I can prevent this from happening if I eat something at least 20 minutes before i plan on doing anything strenous,.. going out etc. I took my blood sugar at a friend's house once when I started feeling "weird" like that and it was low. So, I just wasnt eating enough with the carb diet. I feel that something more traditional, like this DASH plan would work better for me, because i could eat a variety of foods (Like fruit.i looove fruit) I really need to hit a grocery store,..LOL I think I may dust off that Leslie sansone tape I couldnt do too,.. well once I get time to myself (Irefuse to let anyone see me exercise, it is embarrassing)
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Old 08-11-2004, 07:24 PM   #11
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As usual, I'm ten steps behind the power curve...

Anyhow, welcome, Heather! We're glad you're here. And we're glad you weren't jailed for slapping that relative upside the noggin.

One thing in your last post struck me: You said you're too embarrassed to let anyone see you exercise. Why? Trust me, when you go to the gym, no one is making comments behind your back, and if they are it's going to be more along the lines of "Wow! Good for her for taking charge of her life!" Besides, even if there WERE some snippy twits saying ugly things, it wouldn't matter. You have to stop caring what other people think and do it for YOU. (Easier said than done, I know!)
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Old 08-11-2004, 07:53 PM   #12
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I agree with Jennelle, it wouldn't be embarrassing to see you exercise. The way I view it when I'm at the gym exercising is that I AM exercising so I don't care if the world sees me. In fact, I want the world to see me "HEY LOOK AT ME, I'M BIG BUT I'M WORKING ON IT". So please, don't feel self concious about people seeing you.
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Old 08-11-2004, 09:59 PM   #13
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I actually did some good today. Hubby made me go to walmart with him because i havent went anywhere at all recently,. kind of in a funk. He made me go in to the restaurant to eat too (and i hate that). We ended up going to mcdonald's but i did good~ Instead of a hamburger meal with soda, i got one of those big ceaser salads with chicken breast strips (yummy) and water. We also walked alot around walmart and I kept having to stop, but at least I did it! we bought some of our usual bad foods, but I also got more bottled water, apples and lowfat yogurt, salad fixins too! Tommorow im planning on doing as much as i can of that leslie sansone tape too.. (which wont be more than 5 minutes or so but hey,..its a start right?")
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Old 08-12-2004, 12:53 AM   #14
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Talking Hey, we know how you feel

Hi!

I think almost everyone here knows exactly how you feel. I too am embarrassed to have people watch me excercise so I go to the park when I know no one will be there, or Ill just walk up and down the stairs of my house. It's also hard for me to excercise, I can't run more than a few feet before I feel winded and tired, but the idea is to try.

Being that you still have some "bad things" in your house...I do too, I live with my parents and a 20 year old brother and none of them are on a diet. The important thing is to portion your bad things. I find using weightwatchers to be a great plan because you acn still have those bad things if you factor it into your day and cut back on something else. And now you don't have to go to meetings if you're embarrassed you can sign up online. or just use the points like I do and talk here on the message boards.

I lost thirty pounds going into highschool and gained it all back and just now have decided that I need to shape up again to be happier with myself and my life. Being here at this forum is truely the best support you can find, and pay no heed to those pesky family members, becuase although they mean well, they can never really know what you're going through. We know, and we're here.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like some ideas or suggestions. I have some great tasting recipies and such. See you around the board!

~Alison~
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Old 08-12-2004, 03:57 AM   #15
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I agree with you guys all the way on the "don't be embarassed to exercise front". It was a big step for me to go to the gym/swimming pool at first.....then I realised that actually, making the effort when you are generally the largest person in the gym/exercise class is something to be really really proud of - it takes guts and determination and self-confidence. So whatever kind of exercise you chose to do, feel proud and good about yourself for doing it.

....and don't worry about starting slow. You do 5 mins the first day, 6 mins the next......and believe, it doesn't take long before you are building up to a serious session!
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