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Eating yourself to your deathbed

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Old 08-06-2004, 02:48 PM   #1
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Default Eating yourself to your deathbed

I have a story to tell. First I'll say I know I am not the goddess of healthy eating nor am I the pinnacle of exercising. I have tried off and on over the years to lose weight and it is a hard thing and I understand that. Lately, I've been very proud of myself for eating plenty of vegetables and lean meats and nothing any doctor would complain about. I am also exercising as best as I see fit right now and I have seen major changes in my body as well as my mind. It has taken me quite a long time to reach this point and I have a bit of work to do still!

Ok now for the story. I'm in the grocery store yesterday and I'm buying my veggies and meat and I was kind of amazed that nothing in my cart was processed/canned/etc. While in the store, I had passed another girl in the aisle and I always feel for big girls because I understand their struggle. This woman was about my height but bigger than me, I would guess at least 400 lbs. I didn't take much notice, nor did I try to check out her shopping cart. Anyway, I get into line and she gets in behind me and I couldn't help myself! I checked out what she was buying and I kind of felt bad for her because it didn't look like she was trying at all. She had cookies, ice cream, a cake from the bakery, hot pockets, frozen meals on the unhealthy side and nothing that looked remotely healthy. It was either all full of fat or full of sugar or both. Nothing from the produce aisle, deli/meat counter or dairy section.

Now I am sure you are thinking that I am pretty judgemental at this point but really I wasn't trying to be. I wanted to help. I have known those days where I bought a half-gallon of ice cream, fully intending to eat half of that when I got home or buying a loaf of bread, knowing I'd probably eat half. I am a binger and it may even start with the best of intentions, but if I eat a little of something, I'll usually eat the entire thing (or until I feel sick). Another thing that I am proud of is that I haven't binged in a long time. Anyway, back to the story.

What hit me in the grocery store is that this lady was eating herself to death and I felt for her. I wanted to tell her to not give up on herself and that if she worked on it, she could feel better about herself and the food she eats. Of course, I know if I did actually speak up and tell her something then I'd just be a nosey b*tch. At that point, I wished I could be her friend and help her. Then I realized that I can't save the world, I can only save myself.

Anyway, I just wanted to share because I was deeply affected by this woman for some reason and I wish we didn't have to go through all the things that being fat entails. Whether it be health problems, self esteem issues or being under appreciated in a world where thin is in.
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Old 08-06-2004, 03:01 PM   #2
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First, congrats on your shopping choices. I noticed a couple of weeks ago that I mainly stick to the perimeter of the store (where the "good" stuff is) and seldom go down the aisles anymore. It's a good feeling!

That woman could have been most of us here. I know I was her two years ago, and I'm glad I pulled myself out of that abyss. My step-daughter is there now, and it saddens me greatly because she's so young and these years should be the best of her life. It's a helpless feeling knowing that all I can do is love her and hope and pray that she comes to her own realization that she needs to change. Although I never got to the point that my step-daughter is at with weight, it took me about 15 years to get back any semblance of control with my eating, and if I hadn't, I could have easily been at 300 lbs. by now. I really hope it doesn't take that long for her.
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Old 08-06-2004, 03:05 PM   #3
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You're both so right... I'm really going to turn around. Sometimes I can just picture myself getting heavier and heavier and heavier... I just can't let that happen. Thank you.
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Old 08-06-2004, 03:39 PM   #4
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Wow, what a great and thought-provoking post, Nelie. I don't think of it as judgmental at all -- more than anything, I think you just saw your old self and behaviors in her and realized how far you'd come.

I think we all have to come to this on our own. I think I always *knew* the things I would have to do to lose weight and be more healthy, but for some reason, I never followed through enough for it really to click... to get to that point where it started to make sense and move from theory to lived experience. This time feels different for me (and it seems for others here, too).

Thanks again for posting that.
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Old 08-06-2004, 04:14 PM   #5
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I can totally relate nelie. I've wanted to go up to people that reminded me of my old self and just hug and squeeze them and not say a word and they would know what I meant. But, you're right...you can really only help yourself. I too, am glad I got some sense from Lord only knows where and made a change before I continued up in weight at fast forward.
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Old 08-06-2004, 06:29 PM   #6
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Nelie, to be honest there have been times that this same train of thought has happened to me. I know we're extra sensitive to it, being in the positions we are in. Thank you for sharing that.

There was a woman I used to work with who was about five hundred pounds. She had all sorts of arrangements at work to make her more comfortable and able to work.. she just couldn't do what the rest of us would do, and a lot of my coworkers were pissed because we had to make up for it. Anyway, she would buy a pound of m&ms and at least one other junk food item every time she worked.. it was awful, I just couldn't look at her, and I felt so badly for her.
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Old 08-06-2004, 08:47 PM   #7
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Okay, on a funny note - the office asked me to go shopping for a birthday party we were having in the office. In my cart was:
-2 ice cream pies
-6-pack of beer (gift)
-box of rice krispie treats (gift)
-Perrier (mine for lunch)
-Sushi (mine for lunch)
-birthday candles

Then, I read this post and thought... "well, thank god I had the candles or other shoppers might of thought I was a pig!"
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Old 08-06-2004, 10:16 PM   #8
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@ GJ
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Old 08-07-2004, 12:35 AM   #9
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Awww Jessica -

Nelie - I don't think you were being judgemental at all! I think thats natural, I often feel the same way with some of the women at work. They ask me all about how I'm doing and what I'm eating and tell me I'm doing so great but some of them are very very overweight and I still see them going to the Chinese Buffet for lunch or snacking on chips and pop in the afternoon and I too want to tell them not to give up and that they can do this! However, I do think its a decision and realization that you must make on your own. I know I would have been offended if someone had commented on my habits! However, knowing and feeling how I do know.... I wish someone had reached out to help me a long time ago.
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Old 08-07-2004, 02:27 AM   #10
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Another sad thing is that some people don't have the knowledge to know whats healthy, and its bad that if you don't have the money, or the resources to learn what is healthy. I think a lot of people turn to fad diets due to lack of knowledge, and the companies who make the fad diets have the money to advertize them. Which keeps people fat, even fatter when they gain back the weight from going on some bizare juice fast, or eating only grapefruit. We need to educate people!
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Old 08-07-2004, 03:15 AM   #11
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You're right on Swimgirl. I recently got an offer in the mail (I must be on some kind of diet mailing list) with a brochure filled with testimonials about an amazing new diet pill made from concentrated grapefruit rind. I presume enough gullible people fall for these claims that you can expect to lose 30lbs. a month, and that's without dieting or exercise (What? Is it some sort of extreme diuretic? And can you imagine how saggy the skin would be if there was this rate of loss with no exercise...yet, the pictures of the people giving the testimonials all look pretty buff. Amazing, ain't it?)

Apparently you can eat all the foods you love, loll around all day, take four of these pills daily and live happily ever after. I'm anxiously awaiting the news of this remarkable discovery to be documented in a reputable medical journal, in fact why hasn't news of this magnitude warranted front page coverage in every paper? Obesity erased from the earth just like that! Gee, I bet the billion dollar diet industry is devastated at the prospect of losing all that profit because everyone will soon be taking 4 tablets of concentrated grapefruit rind and losing all their weight at a rate of a pound a day. It's a flaming miracle!

I can hardly wait to visit my doctor and get these pills free as prescriptions with my group medical coverage rather than mailing a cheque to a warehouse only identified as a post office box. Just imagine, I can reach goal in a month's time...I wonder how dehydrated and saggy I'll be? No, think I'll do it the sensible way after all.

I'm sure the makers and distributors of this kind of crap have taken steps to protect themselves against claims of false advertising (and potential law suits if anyone should become ill or die), but I was still tempted to send the material back with a commentary on how they should be ashamed of themselves for taking advantage of desperate or silly people. However, I suppose it's up to consumers to put these people out of business by using common sense and throwing the brochure where it belongs. Buyer beware indeed.
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Old 08-07-2004, 06:06 AM   #12
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What Swimgirl and Jill said. Add to that in my heart of hearts I am that woman. This day I can make all the right choices and be on the road to health and happines. But the ditches are still the same distance away.

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Old 08-07-2004, 12:16 PM   #13
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I will admit that eating right is confusing when everyone is trying to make money off of you. I have tried tons of diets myself, ever since I was 10 or so. I have tried protein diets, shake diets, not eating, cabbage soup diet, jenny craig, weight watchers, low fat, low carb, doctor supervised, etc etc. I have also tried using certains supplements that promised to help lose weight.

From the many years of dieting, there was one crucial step I was missing. I didn't believe in myself, I didn't feel good about myself nor did I think I was worth it. I think this is the case for a lot of people who struggle with their weight. So it is my wish that everyone know that they are worth being healthy for themselves and feel good about themselves.
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