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Where Do I Start? Help Please

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Old 07-28-2004, 10:55 AM   #1
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Question Where Do I Start? Help Please

Where do I begin. I joined the website a while ago, but was not able to keep it up. Now that I have more time and really would like to become more involved and I could really use the support and love giving support and advice to anyone willing to listen. I am the biggest I have ever been and feel really bad. I prefer to stay in the house. I am beginning to isolate myself. I have not talked to ANY of my friends in more than 2 months. I am afraid of what I am doing to myself. My sever weight gain began with a troublesome pregnancy and then a bitter divorce. My son is 8 and I have been divorced for 3 years. Before my divorce I was extremely active, work too many hours and studied to be a personal trainer. I exercise at the crack of dawn everyday, I lifted 3-4 times each week. I felt good. That however was a 120lbs ago.
I do not know exactly how this website works and would love some advice. I am also looking for a buddy, a friend, that I could connect with. Either on a thread or privately. I am desperate and need some help. Thank you Lynne
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Old 07-28-2004, 11:07 AM   #2
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Hi Lynne,

Sorry to hear things have been so rough for you. But look at it this way: you've done the whole working out thing before, know how great it feels, and you CAN do it again! sure, it may take some getting used to, but what doesn't?

First you need to decide a plan of attack.. one that's managable and realistic. Start off slow if you need to- You can always change it later, once you are on track and know that you can.

We all have different reasons for weight gain.. it sounds like you know what yours is. Identify triggering situations, and think of ways to avoid the situations or how you handle them, AHEAD OF TIME. Try and get back in touch with your friends- you need them! If you need to, do it slowly and explain that you've got a lot going on. If you think they'll be supportive (and they should be!) tell them that you're really trying to watch your weight and if you can think of ways for them to help you, suggest it. Never be afraid to ask for help from people who care about you.

I hope things get better for you. Welcome, and I hope you post often and are able to accomplish your goals.
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Old 07-28-2004, 11:17 AM   #3
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Hello and welcome.

Posting for help is a great start! I know exactly how you feel. I've gained weight steadily over the years and when I started in January I was 155 lbs more than I'd been in high school, which was already 15-20 more than the height/weight scales say that I should be. Just so you know it can be done, I've lost 67 lbs already in just over 6 months. I have atleast 83 more to be high school weight but if you put your mind to it, you can do it!

I understand that emotional upset can facilitate weight gain. I lost two babies prior to the birth of my son 2 years ago and the infertility and miscarriage struggles really took a toll on me. You just have to learn to separate food from emotions (much easier said than done of course but it is do-able).

If you'd like to talk privately, you can send me a private message here. If you're comfortable talking on the forum, that's great too. I'm around weekdays but not weekends (I don't have a computer at home). I'm always very eager to talk about weight loss and exercise these days though. I'd be glad to have a buddy to talk to about all this too.

Talk to you soon!
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Old 07-28-2004, 01:02 PM   #4
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Welcome. First of all, it sounds like there are emotional issues which you have to face that may be hindering you. Actually, I don't know of anyone who is overweight that doesn't have emotional issues to some extent. Whether it is the cause of their weight gain or a side effect, it doesn't really matter as long as you don't let it stop you from losing weight. You (and everyone else) deserve to be the healthiest and happiest you that you can be. I hope you believe that you are worth working on yourself, inside and out, to achieve your goals.

Secondly, weight gain doesn't happen instantaneously (though sometimes it seems like it does) and weight loss won't either. What I would recommend is trying to figure out some reasonable goals for yourself. Also, I would start with simple things. Make small changes at first and try to figure out what dietary changes you will focus on as well as exercise goals. I started with cutting out all "added sugars" and then I developed into an eating plan quite similar to the South Beach Diet. Then I started weight training at the gym. I have recently started adding cardio in as well, but they are all changes that are happening over time.

You can also keep posting, let us know how you are doing and also keep track of yourself. I would also recommend recording your inches so that you can tell how well you are doing.

Good luck
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Old 07-28-2004, 01:16 PM   #5
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thank you all so much for the encouragement. I love the acknowledgement. I love not feeling so alone, that I am not the only one who does NOT enjoy being fat. I will definately login regularly to receive and hopefully give support. Thank YOu, Thank you. Lynne
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Old 07-28-2004, 01:51 PM   #6
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Oh, no one ENJOYS being fat. Do they?

I think that's really the best thing about this place--there is ALWAYS someone here who has been through, or is going through, what you, yourself, are experiencing at any given time. The support here cannot be beat. *hugs for all my chickies & howie, si & matt*

The way to use ths board the best is to get involved! We have monthly point challenges, we have a chatting thread where we catch up on each other's lives, we have an exercise thread where we track our physical stuff, and fun threads too! Jump in! We don't bite! We're glad to have you here!

As for where should you start, I would walk for half an hour a day and try to cut out my drink calories. (Switch from sodas or other drinks w/calories to unsweetened iced tea, water w/lemon, lime, or orange) The important thing is--go slowly so it doesn't feel like a 100% overhaul that's impossible to stick to.

Welcome to the board! Hope to hear more from you.
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Old 07-28-2004, 02:07 PM   #7
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The best part about your situation is that, because you studied to be a personal trainer, you come into this armed with a lot of quality information. Like everyone's already said, it's not going to happen overnight. You need to be patient. Start with small goals first. It might be frustrating to walk into the gym and not even be able to lift 1/8 the weight you used to, but eventually you will get back to where you were.

It's important to address the emotional issues. You know that cliched old saying, "It's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you?" It's absolutely true. And as for isolating yourself from your friends - that's not a good idea. If they are true friends, they won't care if you weigh 125 lbs. or 1000 lbs. They will want to help you through your hurt.

Come back often.
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Old 07-28-2004, 03:32 PM   #8
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Cool Where do I start? Please help.

I joined about a month ago and have been browsing the threads for while looking for inspiration. I'm impressed by the warmth and support that comes from everybody who contributes. So when I read your post, Merrick, I decided it was time I took the plunge. I had a similar experience. Five years ago I had lost 85 lbs and was exercising regularly and well on my way to being under 200 lbs for the first time in nearly 20 years. But I sabotaged myself by giving in to emotional issues and then I developed orthopedic problems which made it hard for me to walk. Then earlier this year I started taking a diabetic drug which made me gain even more weight. So I've been pretty depressed and it's only within the last week or so, I've been able to start cutting back and have managed to lose a few lbs. But it is a day-to-day thing. I'll be happy to buddy up with you because I need support too. One thing I did was to go onto WebMD and use their calorie calculator to figure out how many calories it took to maintain my present weight. Then I figured if I ate anything under that I would be coming out ahead. Look forward to posting here and would like to hear from anybody else on the board.
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Old 07-28-2004, 06:17 PM   #9
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Lynne, you are not alone. You made a wonderful first step by posting. We have plenty of encouragement and support to give you. It is sometimes very hard to get out of a rut. You are on your way now. You sound terribly depressed. I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I hope that we can help you along as you help yourself back on the right track.
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If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught, you might be able to help someone else who's now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that's what it's all about after all...

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Old 07-29-2004, 12:07 AM   #10
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Lynne and Rosettastone -- WELCOME to you both!

Lynne, my hat is off to you; it took courage to share so generously what you're going through. I agree with the others that you already bring great knowledge and experience to the table -- you know already that you enjoy the physical activity, now it's just a matter of beginning to do it. Baby steps. Read here, post here, participate here.......also check out the Ladies Who Lift forum for support there. You don't have to be thin already to do the exercise you did before -- you know that of course. The degree to which you can perform that activity will have changed, but you can start with something. It sounds like you want to, and you're ready to make some important changes in your life. Introducing yourself and asking for help was the first step. The second might be calling just one of those friends you've missed. Start with one, and take it from there. Or, just knock out all the calls in one day and get it over with! You'll feel so much better after you've done it....but you need them. We're here for you too, and the way to get the most out of these forums is to participate. Read, respond, repeat.

I'm not a really big fan of Dr. Phil's, but I do like one of his expressions and will use it now. Lynne and Rosettastone, you've found in us a soft place to land.
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Old 07-29-2004, 09:11 AM   #11
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Lynne and Rosettastone - WELCOME!

You both ask where to start - I say, YOU'VE STARTED! By posting here you have taken that first difficult step and we love you for it!

We have all been where you are, some of us are still there - but i'm sure with the support, advice and friendship on this forum you will be able to take steps forward.

You have BOTH lost significant amounts of weight before - -it won't be long before we are coming to you for advice! Sit down and think about how you suceeded last time - what worked and what didn't, and begin to put a few steps in motion. Limiting your calories is great Rosetta - that is what I have started to do and it really helps me to think about what i am eating.

On a more personal note, it sounds as if you both struggle with depression, I do too and I KNOW how easy it is for depression to blow us off course. i find it REALLY hard to look after myself when I am depressed and unfortunately I haven't got any miracle answers to it other than take one day at a time and EXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXERCISE!! I have found that exercise really is a natural anti depressant , it is amazing how much it can lift your mood. I know it is hard to exercise when you are feeling low and all you want to do is hide away all day - but keep it up as much as you can. I have an exercise bike at home so I don't have to go out to exercise when I'm feeling really bad.

I wish you both the best of luck and hope to see you both on the forums regularly!

Love Amanda x
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Old 07-29-2004, 01:39 PM   #12
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Amanda hit it right on the head. Exercise is a huge helper in relieving depression naturally, and I should know, I have taken every anti-depressant known to man without result. At one point the medecine that was supposed to help me with depression almost killed me. Exercise by far is the best anti-depresant I have come across. It might not happen over night but give it a chance. After a couple of weeks you will see results.
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If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught, you might be able to help someone else who's now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that's what it's all about after all...

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Highest weight: 261
Starting weight: 248 August 26
Current weight: 193
Current pounds lost: 55 lbs
Goal weight: 145 by August 26, 2006


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Old 07-30-2004, 11:53 AM   #13
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Hey Lynne! Just popped into this thread to say hello to you and see how things are going -- haven't seen you over in our little group, so I thought I'd check in.
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Old 07-31-2004, 11:53 AM   #14
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Welcome!

You asked where to start... well you've answered that yourself --> HERE! And we're sooo happy you could join us!

Lynne - Does anyone enjoy being FAT? Not unless your a sumo wretsler and thats about it. Thats the reason we're all here. And you will find the best support group out that's available to you. We all understand this battle of the buldge and we're all fixing this t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r! Make sure that you post often and if you need a buddy, feel free to PM me anytime sweetie.. I'm online at least a couple times a day and will get back to you! You're gonna do great!

Sorry about the delay in my response, it seems like its been a few days now since you posted this Lynne - How have the past 3 days gone for you?
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Old 08-01-2004, 07:59 AM   #15
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thank you all so very much, talk about feeling loved, support, and cared for. To think we do not even know each other. Thank you, thank you. All of the advice was wonderful and greatly appreciated so very much.

I have to admit, I noticed for the few days that I was consistantly loggin in I was staying within the WW points, exercising and felt pretty good. Then some computer stuff was going on and I was not able to log on for 3 days, and I ate more, and exercised less. Well I am back, and I could not be more greatful. I need you guys and thank God I have this site.

Thank you so much Lynne
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