I just wanted to tell everyone about something wonderful that happened this weekend. I took my daughter to the park on Saturday, and instead of just watching, I played with her!! I swung on the swings, went down the slides, climbed on the jungle gym, I really played and it felt amazing! Next month will mark the two-year anniversary of starting this journey. At 320+ lbs. I couldn't have possibly played the way I did this weekend, so truthfully I never did. My daughter has missed out on having a mommy that could really get down and play with her for her entire life. But now that is no longer the case. After losing 180 lbs. this body is now able to move in ways it was always intended to, but never could before. I am finally free! When I first started trying to lose this weight I never fully realized the impact it would have on every aspect of my life. Iím realizing more and more just how much those extra pounds held me back, and how thankful I am that I finally did something about it. My daughter didn't even know how to react at first. Her mommy has never been able to play like that. But she quickly caught on that I could do almost anything that she could now and, of course, became wildly excited. She took me here and there, trying everything. We slid down the curly slide together and raced to see how high we could go on the swings. I never became winded, I never needed to sit and rest, I didnít have to tell her that we were leaving early because my body was hurting or I was too hot. We stayed and played all afternoon and had a marvelous time. And later that night, after she had been safely tucked into bed with a happy, contented smile on her face, the full magnitude of what had just happened finally hit me like a ton of bricks. So I had a good cry then. I cried for all the times she and I had missed out on sharing such lovely days together. I cried for all the time I had wasted hiding behind my fat, and for all of the damage I have done to this body. But mostly, I cried for all the days still to come that we would not be missing, ever again.
New goal: staying binge free and losing those last few again, but for the last time!!
"Never trade what you want at the moment for what you want the most." -unknown
"Your power is in your ability to decide." -fortune cookie
"Hope; after a storm birds always sing." -unknown
What a sweet NSV. Your daughter will remember that day forever.
get out of the 230s by July 23rd: Met 7/23/2009
52 lbs. in 52 weeks (12/31/2009): Met 10/29/2009
180 (driver's license weight):
170.8 (100 lbs. lost):
160 (10 lbs to go!):
150 (final goal):
Beverly I love that story!! It sounds like you're travelling differently through the world now in so many ways....you physicality, your psyche, and your mothering too! I'm in awe of your achievement, and just so very, very happy for your new life with your daughter -- and with yourself. You go, girl.
Beverly, Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I want so badly to get to the point you're at. For the longest time I belived that being heavy didnt limit me in any way but I was wrong. Wanting to slide down the tunnel slide with my boys but being scared that I might not fit, is limiting. Not wanting to go to my friends lake with my boys because the climb back up to her house makes me feel close to a heart attack, is limiting. Not wanting to run, play ball etc. is limiting. I have 2 very active boys and I am holding them back. For that I am sorry. But I work every day to change that for them (and for me) I am really looking forward to having many moments like you had with my boys.
"Move and show me what you can do when you step into the circle and shake like we do; Move when you just can't take it and move if you just feel like breaking it"~ TFK
That is so great. I agree that you are such an inspiration. I too took my daughter to the park over the weekend. I didn't play on any of the equipment and I did get hot and winded coming back after spending a while there and it was a reminder to me that I still have a ways to go and I'm not about to give up now. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story and it is yet another reminder to me to not give up and I'll be there too before too long.