Hello, I introduced myself ages ago and used to post here from time to time, but I've been gone, or on the Atkins forum since then. But I'm back!
Just wanted to express a little frustration here...not sure if it's really worthy of a whole new thread, or if I'm really looking for anything here, but just wanted to get this out!
I don't know whether many of you ever attend aerobics classes, but I do from time to time (sometimes aerobics, step, tae-bo ... a range).
I often enjoy the classes. I attended one today, so I was reminded of the things I find frustrating in the classes. The one thing that bothers me the most is the stretching period at the end of the class, because so often the stretching moves are things that only thin people (i.e. people without stomachs and with small thighs) could possibly do! I get annoyed because I just can't do some of the moves because of my current 'attributes.' So I end up either just waiting until they move onto a stretch that I can do, or making up my own stretches (although, not really knowing how effective they are).
For some reason, I've never asked the instructors about alternative moves. I'm not typically shy about talking to people, but I think in this situation, I feel singled out because I'm usually the only one in the class that can't perform the stretches, so maybe that makes me more self-conscious than normal. Plus, I figure, what would the instructor know about stretching moves for larger people? Although, maybe they learn this for their certification....I honestly have no idea.
I could just leave and do my own stretching, I suppose. It just feels like cheating when I do that, though.
Actually, I've noticed that my favourite classes have been when I have had a male instructor. (Male instructors, unfortunately, are much rarer!) No offense to the female instructors out there, but I seem to get better music with the males (less hip hop dancey stuff and more oldies!), and less emphasis on the stretching moves. Or at least the stretching moves seem more straight-forward and normal. Some of the female instructors come up with some real creative doozies:
Insert your left leg underneath your right arm while stretching your right leg straight back then bending it up to touch your head with your heel. Then take your left arm and reach around the front and touch your right buttock. All the while performing an ab crunch and, of course, push-ups with your right hand. And pulse it!
OK, so maybe that's not a real stretching move, but sometimes that's what the instructions feel like!
So...I guess these were just my thoughts for the evening.
Insert your left leg underneath your right arm while stretching your right leg straight back then bending it up to touch your head with your heel. Then take your left arm and reach around the front and touch your right buttock. All the while performing an ab crunch and, of course, push-ups with your right hand. And pulse it!
Yup, I know just what you mean! I mainly do Pilates and sometimes body conditioning classes.......and there is usually something that I have trouble doing.....
When I first started, I did feel very aware that I was surrounded by a lot of thin women - I am always the largest person in the class. However, I must say my whole attitude on this has changed....it takes a lot of guts to go to these classes/to the gym/to the pool when you are big - and now I just feel good about myself that I can do this. As to the stretchy bits/things I can't do, I always ask for an alternative, and the instructor always gives me one.......I used to be too proud to do that, but I figure its their job, and its better than pulling a muscle or two!
And, believe me, the more you do those stretches, the more you are able to do them - I'm a lot more flexible now than when I started......
I go to an active older adults class where I'm the youngest person. I started 70 lbs. ago, but never had any trouble because the stretches are designed for the less flexible elderly (sadly, some of them are even more flexible than me!). There's nothing like being the youngest, most active person in the class. Really does a lot for my self-confidence, well, as long as I forget that the person next to me is 85 years old.
I'll probably continue to tough it out, but perhaps I'll take the time to talk to the instructor about it.
One thing that I feel good about in the classes, though, is that I'm rarely the least coordinated person (I actually have decent coordination), so I take pleasure in that fact!
What you are talking about is exactly the reason I hated classes, and videos as well. Always embarrassed I couldn't do what everyone else was doing, always miserable and self-conscious. It was also just too danged hard. Challenging yourself is good, but if it's too much, you just get discouraged and give up.
This time, though, something in me changed. I realized that another reason I hated "aerobics" is that I cannot for the life of me pick up choreography quickly. I have absolutely no dance talent in any single cell of my body. I also hated a lot of the jumping that aerobics often entails. So, I realized I needed to do things that did NOT involve jumping and dancy moves. I don't have cable and never watch shopping TV, so it was a revelation to me when I found Leslie Sansone of "Walk Away the Pounds" fame. Here was something I could do! And she offered lots of encouragement and modifications ("If you can't lift your arms all the way, lift them halfway. If you're too tired to even do that, just drop them and keep walking ...."). A huge lightbulb went off.
Then, I read Susan Powter's book Stop the Insanity. She talked about this topic a LOT. She finally decided to go to class, hang out in the back, and do what she could, the **** with what anyone else was doing or what they thought. If she needed to rest, she rested. If she needed to modify, she modified. Her videos are the same way. Her mantra is Modify, Modify, Modify.
If your instructor was worth her salt, she would notice you were struggling and offer modifications -- not even to you directly, but to the whole class. I guarantee you that even skinny people can sometimes benefit from modifications. Since she's not that much on the ball, you NEED to talk to her in a friendly, frank (but not whiney) way and say, "LOOK -- I do my best but I have trouble with XYZ ... can you offer alternatives during class for those of us who can't bend that much" or whatever.
Even though I'm in much better shape than I used to be, I am still 40 pounds or so overweight. And, even though I don't always have the same flesh issues I used to, that doesn't change the fact that I have very bad knees and can't do squats and lunges and various other things. In yoga class, if the instructor says to make a move I know I won't be able to do, I'll speak up and she'll immediately offer a modification or an alternative move I can do while the others are doing the other. Sometimes I'll try something and it's obvious it's a struggle for me -- I don't even have to say anything, she'll give a generic instruction to the class that offers me an alternative or a helper move.
I'm not there to please the instructor or classmates or earn their admiration -- she's there to help ME improve, push my limits REASONABLY, and get the maximum benefit from class. If she or the other people think less of me because of it, it's THEIR problem. And, chances are, they don't anyway. A good instructor delights in helping someone achieve new accomplishments, no matter what their starting level. If the instructor can't give me what I need and can only teach people who are already fit, then it's time to find another instructor.
This touches on a very deep issue for me. I am convinced that most women who are overweight suffer DEEPLY from this affliction of putting everyone else's feelings first. We are terrified of speaking up for ourselves and asking for what we need. It is a common problem for women in general, and all kinds of addicts. We don't want to rock the boat, call attention to ourselves, ask for assistance, let someone know that they're not treating us the way we need to be treated. You don't have to be aggressive, impolite, or mean. You DO have to learn to stand up and speak up when your needs aren't being met, ESPECIALLY when you are PAYING someone to meet those needs or you are in a reciprocal relationship. Someone recently posted "22 Reasons You'll Stay Fat" and a few of them touched on this topic. Also, I've seen references here to the concept of being a "People Pleasin' Fat Person." This phenomenon certainly fits into that profile!
If you still feel uncomfortable going to a class ... pick up a copy of Susan Powter's Burn Fat & Get Fit and exercise at home with it. Then, when you walk into a class, you'll have a foundation built that will give you some confidence. You'll also have learned some modifications that you'll find helpful in class. Also, remember that you don't have to go to an aerobics class to exercise. If you LIKE that kind of exercise, that's great. But, if you don't -- for whatever reason -- there are a million other things you can do, both at home and at the gym.
I know very well how apprenensive and nervous you can be walking into a fitness center. But, I promise, you'll get comfortable very quickly if you'll just screw up your courage and do it. Same goes for exercise classes, of any type. Once the initial *gulp* is over, you'll discover it's not as bad as you thought it was. And, if it IS -- if the instructor pushes too hard, isn't accomodating, is judgemental, or the exercise itself is not suited to you or your abilities ... it doesn't mean you made a mistake in going. It means that that particular class isn't for you, and you just need to try another one. Finding a good exercise instructor is like looking for a good doctor, or therapist, or manicurist, or whatever. Every practitioner has different skills and styles, and they're not always going to be a good fit with every person. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or that you shouldn't be there. It means that it's just time to try something else.
Aerobics classes - pet peeve
Pretty funny visual.
