I need a break!
I don't know if it's the fact that I'm going back to work full-time on Monday, caring for two under two with a third that is ADHD, the lack of fundage in our family or a combination of all three but I'm starting to stress and I usually don't stress out too much. Add that to the fact that I've had a busy week.
Last night one of my childhood friends who moved back to OK had a home interior party. Jeff usually team ropes in the arena behind the house on Fridays but we had some rain and there were more storms moving this direction so he was supposed to keep William for me and I would take Lilly. She is at that perfect age--hasn't quite shown her temper yet and yet she is just old enough to be self-sufficient with some guidance, making sure she's not eating dog food, sticking her hand in the plug-ins etc. Well one storm went through but when I had to leave they didn't call off roping so I had to take William with me to the party. For those of you who don't know, he has acid reflux and has good days and bad. He's on a special formula, has to have gas drops in every bottle, eat rice cereal in his bottles, take a medicine that speeds up his digestion as well as zantac 2x a day and is taking nystatin for his thrush. Don't get me wrong, I love my little baby to death but caring for him 24-7 can be tiring. Needless to say I was really looking forward to a night out with just us girls but it didn't happen.
Well the same friend had a cookout today for her mom's 50th birthday and the whole family went. I was the one who had to take care of William pretty much all day. Jeff is wonderful around the house and even gets up for nighttime feedings on occasion but it seems like every time we go places the responsibility falls on my shoulders or I feel if I'm not the one taking care of him everyone will think I'm a bad mom.
Well my mom, my friends mom, and my friend were all outside reminiscing about old times and I was stuck inside caring for the kids. I too would've liked to be outside but no one likes to hold a crying baby except mommy.
Then we get home and William is having a bad night and only wants to be held or he cries and cries plus i had to boil eggs, get the dye ready bake that ww diet soda cake on top of did I mention the baby wouldn't stop crying. and on top of that I've been great at exercising every day. I enjoy it. It's me time but with all we had to do when we got home I couldn't fit it in. so while Jeff was cooking dinner (I told you I had a great hubby) I finally grabbed a beer and headed outside. After crying for a bit I do feel better.
I really think I'm just worried about how I'm going to be able to continue to eat healthy, fit in exercise and spend time with the family. I'm going to have to start getting up around 6 a.m., get me ready, get the two little ones ready, drive 35 minutes to daycare and work, work from 8-5, pick up the kids, and drive the 35 minutes home, spend time with all 3 kids, eat dinner (since Jeff is working from home he'll be responsible for dinner), try and fit in some exercise at some point, and get ready for bed.
I guess it's just the fear of the unknown that has me all in a knot. I'm sure after a couple of weeks back in the groove it will all work itself out.
If you've read this far, thanks for listening.