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Old 04-06-2004, 03:31 PM   #1
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hi, remember me?

My disappearing act continues. I seem to not want to face reality when things are going horribly. The only way I know of dealing when things go wrong is to shut myself off from everyone. I've feel really badly that I have let some good friends disappear.

Anyway, I'm not doing as well as I had hoped. I'm honestly doing miserably.

The problems have always stemed from drinking. I need to deal with that before I can deal with anything else. I haven't had a drink since last Sunday (this is my 9th day) and it hasn't been easy. I went through a rough couple of days with the shakes and feeling generally miserable. Now that has worn off and I'm feeling remarkably well.

I can't say I will be here all that often, but I want all of you to know that I have enjoyed coming here over the years. I wish I could be the inspiration to some of you that you have been to me. But I haven't been...

Matt
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I will do the Komen 60 mile walk for breast cancer again this year!!
Next goal is 175: Pounds from goal = 4.2.
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Old 04-06-2004, 04:00 PM   #2
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Matt - I am sooo glad to see you here. I have missed your posts!!!

Addiction is such a hard thing to overcome. I think your right that the drinking needs to be under control before the food. Congratulations on your 9 days of sobriety. Having grown up with it, I understand where you are coming from. I may not have the addiction to alcohol, but my 290 lbs will attest that I have an addiction to food.

We are here for you Matt. I think it's only natural to hide out when life is not going well. Sometimes when I am here and not doing well, I feel like a fraud. But then I realize that I need the community here when I am not doing well (with food or life in general) MORE then than when I am doing great and on a roll. So I'd like to invite you to go ahead and hang out here anyway, we don't always need inspiration, sometimes we need friends. And you'd be suprised where you find your inspiration to get life back on track (although it sounds like you already have a solid start!!).

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Old 04-06-2004, 04:07 PM   #3
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Matt, I missed seeing you here at the board. Congratulations on making it 9 days, that is a big step towards sobriety. Addictions are hard to overcome, but not impossible. I know because I have overcome cigarettes, drugs and now food. We're here to help and encourage you, friends can be a great source of support when you're going through a rough time. We're here if you need us.
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Old 04-06-2004, 04:35 PM   #4
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Hey Matt,

I'm not sure if you will remember me....I think that I was more of a "lurker" when you were actively posting. You should know that I found many of your posts to be very inspiring! I was really inspired by the charity walk that you undertook....I am now taking a running course so that I can take part in the Terry Fox Charity run next Fall. Your charity walk put the "seed" of the idea in my mind. If you could undertake such a big walk (how many kilometres was it....something CRAZY!), then maybe I can jog 5 or 10km.

That is the point of this on-line support community. You are supposed to be able to take support from us when you need it. You have already provided support and inspiration to many, and you will again. I understand the urge to withdraw when feel that you are not doing well, but I do hope that you will continue to post....so that you can take back some of the support you have offered in the past. Besides...some of the most useful information comes from those that are struggling (haven't we ALL been there???).

Whatever approach you decide to take to getting everything "back on track"....I wish you well, and I know that you will be successful!

Take care of yourself....
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Old 04-06-2004, 05:12 PM   #5
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Hi Matt,

Glad to see you again. I understand how you feel. I come here every day, but don't post often because I am not doing so well myself. You are not alone!! I guess maybe it helps to post even when things aren't going as well as we'd like, because it will help someone else to know that they are not alone.

Hang in there and take care ~ Gayle
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Old 04-06-2004, 07:27 PM   #6
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Matt! I've missed you so! Please know that we are here for you, no matter how often we see you. Every couple of weeks or so, someone asks, "Where is Matt?"

Congrats on your 9 days! That's a big thing.

Blessings,
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Old 04-06-2004, 08:03 PM   #7
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Matt - congratulations to you on nine days of sobriety.

Join us over at the OA board...you might find a few words of wisdom.
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Old 04-06-2004, 08:56 PM   #8
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Hi Matt! If anyone can understand what its like to struggle its all of us here! Please continue to post and talk to us as much as you can. 9 days sober is an amazing accomplishment and something to be very proud of. Come back we miss you!
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Old 04-06-2004, 09:35 PM   #9
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Matt-

We'll always be here when you decide to come back "full-time" again.

Best wishes. -Apryl
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Old 04-06-2004, 09:55 PM   #10
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Uh, yes we remember you! Good to have you back. Please stop in as often as you need to. Who doesn't know about addiction better than us?
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Old 04-07-2004, 12:01 AM   #11
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hello again matt! hope to see you join us on the "eating disorders" thread. there are quite a few of us following the steps (ot thinking about following them) and you might be surprised to feel right at home.

we missed you!
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Old 04-07-2004, 10:06 AM   #12
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Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm just going to take things one day at a time and do the best that I can.
__________________
Height: 6'2
Starting weight/ Current low weight/"redline" weight
446.8/179.2/180.0
Total: 267.6 pounds.

I will do the Komen 60 mile walk for breast cancer again this year!!
Next goal is 175: Pounds from goal = 4.2.
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Old 04-07-2004, 02:34 PM   #13
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So good to see you back, Matt! And I'm looking forward to meeting you in Chicago--of course we want you there!
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Old 04-29-2004, 11:15 PM   #14
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Hey Matt it's good to see your still posting in here. You were the first person I looked to see was still on here when I decided to come back. I can only imagine having two addictions to deal with. I have a hard enough time with the food. You can do it. So hang in there and keep up the good work.
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Old 05-01-2004, 02:20 PM   #15
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Heya Matt, I don't know you and you don't know me since I am so new here. I hate to see you going through such a rough, rough time. Keep your head high and just keep trying the best you can. I know some things in life are so tough to beat. One day at a time.
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If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught, you might be able to help someone else who's now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that's what it's all about after all...

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