Although, I have been delurked for about a month now....and part f this board for a year now....I thought I would give a little background about me and where I am coming from on this weightloss/weightcontrol journey and hopefully where I am going!!
Ya know....I can remember back years ago, when I was "overweight" but not morbidly obese (God, I hate that word) There was a lot of talk in the media, like there is today about "emotional eating" and "eating away the pain" sort of talk. And I always said, that is not why I am overweight....I just like my food too much. I always blamed it on my GENES...and never took real responsibility for being overweight. I really never "got it" until I went through the 12 step program OA. Has anyone ever tried that program? Well, to make a long story short...I lasted about 2 months. In those two months, I lost about 20 pounds, and gained a wealth of knowledge. I am going to share some of that knowledge with you.
Before joining this OA group of compulsive overeaters, I never called my weight issues a disease and an addiction. Heck, I never heard it referred to it as a disease/addiction. When I thought of addictions, I thought of drugs and alcohol and gambling. But in hearing this, I felt this incredible amount of release. Wow...there has to be a cure ...I need to find a cure....but oh no, what about relapse? I took what I wanted from those meetings, and from the success stories. I learned to plan my meals, and committ to my food plan. I was never allowed to say, "what do I feel like having for dinner." or "I don't feel like eating chicken" Eating should not be used to describe an emotional feeling. And what kind of feeling is it when a person is in the mood for let's say for example, chicken. Are you following me...? I was not allowed to eat anything that was not on my eating plan for that day. As difficult as that was for me at the time, it was incredibly freeing, not having to "think" about food all of the time. Seriously, when I wasn't on a program per say, I was constantly thinking about food, constantly. What am I gonna have for breakfast? I WANT another bowl of cereal. Do I really need another bowl, of course not, but I want another bowl. How many calories and fat is in one serving? I should not have 3 servings in one bowlful? I am hungry do I care? Oh no, now that I am finished I do care? Oh no...I did it again. I am hungry again already? Look, some one at work brought in donuts...even though I just had breakfast...I can't not eat one, can I? By thinking I had control of my eating, it was the absolute opposite...I was out of control. By committing my food plan for the day to my sponsor, it gave me incredible strength to make it to the next meal, the next day, the next meeting.
I guess my point to this long winded story is that compulsive overeating is a very real and scary thing just like any other addiction and/or disease. Like most addictions, the abuser has to admit there is a problem, which I never did until recently...please I thought I was over weight because I liked food too much, remember? Not only do they have to admit that they have a problem, but until they want to whole heartedly make a change, they will not. Only the abuser can make that decision. And then, only then, can change take place. Individuals go through some sort of withdrawl process, and hopefully, rid themselves of the root of their addiction. But the hard part for us, is that we need food to literally survive (not survive in the sense of until the next hit, sort of thing), but we need food physically. And once we compulsive overeaters, food addicts whatever you want to call us, finally get to the root of our problem, it will always be a problem. The saddening part of this disease, is that we will always be compulsive overeaters. It will always be a daily struggle. Just like alcoholics claim they will always be alcoholics reguardless if they are sober for so many years. Even when we have our weight under control, we will still be compulsive overeaters. I guess the real issue of control is in controling our emotions, and how we choose to handle them when we feel out of control.
So, if you made it this far in this long winded post....I would like to thank you for helping me deal with the other, possible most important aspect of our disease and/or addiction....the mental part, and not just the diet part and the physical part.
Here is a great article, that I thought you maybe interested in.....http://www.geneenroth.com/quest.html