Toasted, I'm right there with you on the sleep. There was basically a small flood in our church last night and hubby is on the property committee...so he was there until about 8:30 for the Servpro folks to get in and start drying things up. He was going to have to go back and lock up at 11 or so and since he gets up earlier than me, I offered to do it and let him go to bed. I get there at 11:10 and they were finishing up...and every time they plugged in a dehumidifier, it blew a breaker! I ended up wandering around opening up mechanical rooms looking for electric boxes for another hour, then finally locking up and getting out of there at 12:20 a.m.! Got to bed at 1.
I am SO tired today! That alarm at 7 about killed me.
I started a reply yesterday, intending to get back to it and post, but I didn't. Maybe I should take a page from Diane and just wave when I am not sure I am going to be able to squeeze in a proper post.
Toasted - Argh on the firewall issues. I hate when things disrupt my routine. Like - hardcore hate. It is difficult enough to meet all of my obligations without having a wrench thrown in. And I completely relate to your feelings of frustration when you "eat yourself sick." I have done it countless, countless times. Each time I do, I think, "I'm going to thoroughly internalize just how bad I feel in this moment so that I can avoid doing it to myself again." And sometimes, I string together a significant period of time remembering that. Sometimes, I don't. I'm trying to do the "mindfulness" thing, and despite being moderately successful, I am still vulnerable to the compulsion to eat beyond where I am comfortable. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying, though.
Diane - Thinking about your gym quote. I don't know that there's anything special about Monday per se, but I do know that I am often relieved to get back into a food and exercise routine after the weekend is over. The weekend tends to be a little looser, and I think I need that, but it is so much easier to keep going than it is to start going. So, this is my rambling way of saying that I am with you on the gym quote. Setting the tone on Monday tends to set us up for good weeks. So glad that you have managed to start your week with some running. Hope this morning's lifting was awesome.
Lilion - When you figure out how to stop having the slips like the one you describe, I would love to hear your secret. I have yet to figure out the key. The good news, though, is that weight control does not require perfection. Admittedly, it's a hard lesson for me to grasp, though. If I overeat at dinner one evening, for example, I find myself thinking that I do not deserve to fit into the clothes in my closet that I can fit through about 18 months of fairly consistent effort. My brain absolutely knows that these thoughts are ridiculous. Maybe if I get my gut to agree, that will make it easier to not go through my "I quit" phases where I allow myself to eat everything in sight. Who knows? I would love to know if you get it figured out, though. Glad you're back on the wagon. It's a nice place to be, most of the time.
Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I gave blood. I routinely try to give blood, but I am rejected most of the time for low hemoglobin levels. After I gave blood, I decided to allow myself some of the delicious treats available there. There was a variety of deliciousness, but I settled on half a cheese danish (which I didn't finish because it wasn't delicious) and the smallest brownie there. They had coffee cake, which I love and haven't eaten in some time, but I knew I had consumed enough. I then proceeded to eat fairly reasonably the rest of the day. The hubby and I planned on going out to dinner, though, and left later than planned. By the time I got in the car to go to the restaurant, I was starving. Nevertheless, I resisted the urge to grab something to "tide me over" and waited until the food was served. I wanted to eat everything in sight. Instead, I ate relatively slowly and consumed a very small amount of food. For whatever reason, I was super full on much less food than I usually consume. So I stopped. I didn't count bites or time the seconds between bites or white knuckle anything. Instead, I realized I would be uncomfortably full if I continued eating -- even though I had eaten less food than I generally eat for dinner -- and stopped. I woke up hungry, and ate a reasonable amount after I lifted weights. I chose not to weigh because I didn't want my behavior influenced by the scale at this point. This is unchartered territory for me, and it feels both terrifying and hopeful.
Goals for the day
1 - 20K steps
2 - Finish my brief
3 - Continue to eat mindfully (In other words - Don't get cocky, fool. One good day doesn't mean your problems with food have evaporated.)
4 - Wake up early enough in the morning to run before work.
5 - Run 5 miles before work tomorrow morning.
Toasted: Weird about the computer issues. I would have trouble getting on at home, so glad you made it here! Weekends are tough, aren't they? I always have to be careful that it doesn't turn into a free-for-all.
Lilion: Ugh! I am not good at staying up late. I just can't do it at all. Hope you make it through the day and then get some rest tonight!
Laurie: Nice that you had a good day of eating! That's a win! It is so hard to be that way when you end up at a restaurant, starving! I'm impressed that you were able to slow down and enjoy, then stop before it was too much. Very good!
For me, yesterday was a good day. I think I did pretty well overall. But it was a first day. I was able to go to the gym this morning and did my lifting. They started a new routine in Body Pump, but I didn't want to go to that. I might go on Thursday, or I'll just do my own lifting again. I do like doing it myself! The weather looks good right now, but it is supposed to get windy this afternoon. If it is still warm enough, I'll go hiking after work. I'm not a fan of wind, but if it isn't too bad, I could still go.
Not sure if I'll go running in the morning or spin. Right now I think I'd like to just run. For the rest of today, I just need to keep logging and keeping calories under goal.
most of my online time is during little breaks at work (i work the graveyard shift) but the last two weeks we've had clients who aren't very good sleepers so there have been no little breaks... aaaaarrrrrggggg.
i have the first two weeks in October off work. Total staycation. I am so ready to not be here (at work).
But... in more positive news.... i have a new fitness tracker thingie coming this week or next. I can't wear the fitbit when it's hot out and i hope this new one will be a solution to that problem...
I havent even had time to read this thread but I hope you guys are all doing great!
Vladadog - So glad to see you popping in! I know your internet connection is a nightmare, but it's great when you can say hello. Excited about your new tracker. Sometimes, I'm embarrassed to admit how much mine helps me stay on track. I literally climbed and descended stairs in my house the other night because I refused to go to bed until I'd hit my 20K. (I would rather just go outside, but my hubby gets nervous when I walk outside after 10:00 p.m.)
Diane - A completed first day is such a great feeling! I have had so many abortive first days ("Today's the day! Well, maybe tomorrow. That donut is looking pretty good.") Congrats on completing it and setting out a great, doable plan!
I continue making good choices for the most part. I did succumb to the habit of finishing a box of shredded wheat cereal because there were only a few more in the box, even though I knew I didn't really want them or need them. But it was a few pieces of cereal, not a bag of cereal (or even worse choices). I am hoping that considering the impact of the food as I am eating it and telling myself over and over again that I am not powerless over the food is becoming a habit. The reality is that I have had "honeymoon periods" where I pretty easily rejected bad food choices fairly consistently over the last few decades, and this could be yet another one of those periods rather than the huge mind shift I am hoping it is. But it does feel different. And I am visualizing my brain creating new neural pathways that fundamentally change the way I interact with food. I honestly don't know if it's happening, but I am a big believer in self-serving cognitive dissonance. Even if I am not actually creating these new pathways, believing that I am seems to be helping me make good choices, so it's essentially the same thing.
I was 140.4 this morning. That's the lowest I have been in 22 years. My scale says my fat percentage is about 15%, which, according to most charts I've seen, is almost ranging into unhealthy territory. It's weird to be worrying about it on this side. On the other hand, those scales are known to be unreliable, and I know I have a lot of fat on my butt and my hips and thighs. Additionally, I'm size 4/6/8, so while that definitely seems tiny to me, it's also hard for me to believe that I don't have sufficient fat at those sizes. So, I ordered some calipers and a fat monitor, neither of which are known to be super accurate, but both of which are said to be more accurate than the scales. I don't think I am even close to being underfat, but I am also aware that I have no ability to realistically gauge how big I am. I refuse to go from unhealthy because I am too fat to being unhealthy because I'm not fat enough, but I also want to put a little bit of distance between me and an overweight BMI (though I know BMI is a terribly unreliable indicator of healthy weight).
Goals for the day
1 - Run five miles.
2 - Eat mindfully.
3 - Talk to my husband about an important issue I've been avoiding.
4 - Finish my brief.
5 - Get 20K steps.
Ahhh! A good nights sleep makes all the difference. Really, I could have slept more, but I'll take being less than exhausted! I can't believe I was still awake, tossing and turning, at 11 p.m. Sometimes I get too tired and then I can't sleep, freak that I am.
Laurie, I can't imagine having too little fat. I know that's a serious problem...but I'm like, "Wow...Really?" It's so beyond my comprehension. You are a runner - is it fairly normal for runners to have low body-fat. Do you have a nutritionist or someone to talk to about these things? After all, health is what matters.
So, work today and tomorrow and then I have a 4-day weekend off. I may not take it all, we'll see. I'm going to have a "girls weekend" with my old law-school roommate. We haven't spent any time together in many years - like 25 years. We had a bit of a falling out back then, but that seems to be in the past and we've kept in touch. She has a lovely home and a salt-water pool! (Yeah - and WAY more money than I'll EVER have.) So my plan is to relax and float and drink fattening rum drinks and just RELAX! So...at some point I'll get back on track...at least the days I'm not doing fun things, which, let's face it, is most of my days.
Hi everyone, another quick check in because although I'm once again able to get on from work, I'm totally swamped and really shouldn't be here in all good conscience but "check in" is on my To Do list so "check in" I will. The week is going okay so far. I know I don't do very well with leafy green vegetables (it really hurts my digestion) yet I insisted because it's healthy and gives meals volume so last night was a little rough for me.
Lillion: I'm so sorry to hear about the flooding at your church but I'm glad you were able to sort it out. I can only imagine how you felt when your alarm went in the morning though. Like Arghhhhhhhh NOOOOOOOOOOO #nottoday
Laurie: I'm so happy to hear about your success eating mindfully. That's total progress and inspiration and proof that it IS possible. I'm going to try that as well and try to report how it's going too.
Diane: Yes rocking out your workouts and plan so far! That's awesome! Get it!!!!
Vladadog: Yay 2 weeks off!!! I totally identify because I have the first 2 weeks of October off as well (if I can sort out some visa issues) and I'm so looking forward to it! I'm going on a cruise though (pending said visa issues being sorted out) AND my office is expecting me to be reachable and to be working and meeting deadlines but at least no being forced to get up when i don't want to and yay us being women of leisure for a month.
Okay guys, I've got to run. My goals for today are eat no more than what is recorded in MFP, eat mindfully, get in at least 5000 steps. Have a great day everyone.
Laurie: Congrats on the new lower weight! How fun! I think you are wise to make sure that it doesn't get too low and finding a way to measure body fat. But, still nice to see a low weight like that! So glad that it seems to be on a good track for you!
Lilion: Well, that sounds like a great way to fill your long weekend! I hope you have a great time!
Toasted: I'm glad that you check in even if you don't have a lot of time! Hope you get work caught up!
For me, I had a good day yesterday. I didn't have a lot of time after work to hike, but I figured I would go anyway. It is starting to get darker earlier, so hiking after work won't be happening too much longer. It was fun, even though it was quick. Today, I almost talked myself out of going to the gym, but decided I would not be happy if I did that and I won't have time after work to do anything, so I went. I went running and although it wasn't as good as Monday, I was glad I did it. Now to just keep on track with food!!!!
Diane - I'm super jealous of your hiking! I think I've said this before, but I love the Colorado mountains. Glad you talked yourself into doing it, even if you didn't want to. Somehow, those victories often seem sweeter than the ones more easily gained. (But more exhausting, too, so hope most of your work-outs take less willpower to engage in.)
Toasted - I'm excited that you are joining me in this "mindful eating" experiment. I have tried it many times before without success, but I feel like if I can get it, I will be less miserable. So glad you squeezed us in for a quick check-in!
The mindful eating thing continues to work well for me. It will be sorely tested by the array of treats I walked in to observe. I was super hungry when I got here, too. Nevertheless, my left-over pork chop from last night and my Kashi wheat biscuits seemed like a much better decision than the donuts and cinnamon rolls and muffins, etc. Somehow, I've internalized that it's okay for me to not even want the treats, as I know it will not make me feel good, and honestly, often times they don't even taste better.
I have started using a green drink supplement. I got it delivered on Tuesday, and drank my first "green cocktail" immediately. It was not delicious, but it was palatable enough. The instructions said to drink it first thing in the morning on an empty stomach, but I wanted to try it immediately. So, I drank it about 6 p.m. Tuesday and then first thing in the morning. Lots of prebiotics and probiotics, and at the risk of TMI, it really "cleaned me out." Lots of time in the bathroom, and I stepped on the scale at one point to see 140.0. I'm back up to 140.6 this morning, but it's looking like I may be able to see a 13x at some point. It's such a crazy, crazy place to be.
Laurie: Wow! I haven't seen 13x since high school! That would be awesome! Power on with the green drink! Glad that the mindful eating is going well for you. I am not to that point yet, I need to stay super diligent for now. That said, I had a cupcake yesterday. Someone brought them in from a gourmet cupcake store and I just had to try it. I made room for it, and stayed within my calorie goal for the day. Kinda worth it!!
For me, I decided to go to Body Pump this morning because they had a new "release" and I wanted to see how it was. It was fine. I do think I'll go to Body Pump occasionally because I do like this instructor, but I'll still do my own thing too. I'd like to go on another hike today, but it is super windy right now. If it just stays windy, I can still go, but if it is bringing in a storm like I think it is, I won't go. We'll see what happens! (*** Laurie: I do feel very fortunate to have hiking so close to my house. I would miss it if I didn't!) I want to go to the gym tomorrow too. I haven't decided if I'm going to run, or make my way to Body Flow. We'll see how brave I am.
Having a hard time locking and loading this morning, so thought if I at least got this done, it might lead to some focus elsewhere as well.
Diane - Yay for a new instructor and for the new "release!" Yay for deciding that you can pick and choose when you'll enjoy Body Pump and when you'll enjoy doing your own thing. Hope you were able to get a beautiful, autumn eve hike yesterday. And yay for random, delicious cupcakes that you fit in your calorie budget and just enjoy. You're living the dream.
I went to a fancy 7-course dinner last night. I physically cannot eat a lot and be comfortable, so I was very careful about restricting how much I ate from each course. Ironically, I underestimated how much food I needed to eat to prevent hunger, so I walked away from the dinner feeling hungry enough that I ate a bit of my "emergency snack" from my car. Weird, eh? Maybe if the food had been better, I would have found myself eating more of it, but the only course I truly enjoyed was one of the early courses, and I did not want to eat so much of that I couldn't enjoy the later courses.
I am starving today, though. I woke up hungry and almost ate a chocolate muffin. However, I am supposed to consume my "green drink" on an empty stomach, so I drank that first, then didn't want the muffin. I have already eaten my lunch, however, and want to eat all of the things right now. I am going to do my best to eat enough to address my hunger with nutrient-dense, lower-calorie foods without resorting to eating everything I can get my hands on as quickly as I can. Hopefully, it will work.
Goals.
1 - Run five miles.
2 - Get 20K steps in.
3 - 3 sets of body weight exercises.
4 - Sufficient water for my needs.
5 - Be very, very conscious of my food intake. Make sure that I am eating enough without eating too much.
Laurie: Hopefully you can make it through the day with the hungries after you! I hate it when I have days like that! Sounds like you're handling it pretty well, though! Is the green drink still working well for you?
For me, I did go take a hike last night. It was so windy, but there weren't any storms coming. It was kind of tough, though. I felt pretty tired this morning, so I just decided to not go to the gym. I feel like I hit it hard for 4 days in a row. A rest day isn't too bad. I might go hiking tonight, but this time I really do think we're going to have rain. So, we'll see. Food has been on track so far. I hope I can make it through a company lunch today without too much pain!! ha!
Diane - Rest days are just as important as the hard work-outs, says every trainer whose work I've read. Sometimes, it's a hard choice to make, or (at least for me) can make me feel guilty, but it shouldn't. Yay for you for taking care of yourself. Theoretically, that's what this whole journey is about. Glad you are able to get some hikes in before the winter comes crashing in.
I had a relatively good weekend with both food and exercise. I participated in a mud run/obstacle course on Saturday morning with my husband and a friend. I went with them at their pace, so we were traveling about 2 mph, though I will concede that there were a lot of hills. Despite the very slow pace, it was a lot of fun, and it was nice to test my fitness on some of the obstacles presented. I weighed this morning after my run (even though I know it's kind of cheaty to weigh after I've sweated out so much hydration), hoping to finally see 13x on the scale. Nope. 140.6. All good, though. I also bought my first-ever size 2 skirt. It's a bit tight, but I think it looks good, actually. And I got my fat monitor. As I suspected, my scale was severely underestimating my fat percentage. The monitor tells me I am at 24.6% fat. That puts me at the low end of average. If I drop another percent, I will be in the "fit" range. So, that's my goal. I'm going to try to focus more on this than the scale. I may also want to shake up my routines. I ran 4.2 miles this morning. Maybe on my next running day, I will do interval training/sprints.
Laurie: That's interesting about the fat monitor. I'm glad that you were able to get some guidance with it! Good for you doing a mud run, too!
For me, not much to say. The weekend was ok. Weekends still tend to trip me up, but hoping to move on this week. It was really cool over the weekend, but warming up some today. I hope to go hiking this afternoon!
Diane - The weekends. Oh, the weekends. They just never, ever get easy. Hopefully, they will become easier, though, as we learn to navigate them better. So glad you get to go hiking this week! Hope you were able to do it yesterday without incident.
I'm having a bit of a crisis right now, and I'm really struggling. And the crisis? Things are going well for me. I'm slightly concerned about one of my children, but he seems okay, and the rest seem to be doing fairly well. My marriage is feeling strong right now. My weight is lower than it has been for any consistent period of time in my adult life, and my fitness levels are better than I ever remember them being. My job is going well, for the most part. And, most jarring, I feel more in control of my food than at any time I can remember in the past. Not completely in control, mind you, but in control.
So, why do I feel so unmoored? I was starving in the afternoon yesterday - a classic trigger for clearing out the candy jar and making myself sick. AND I made the mistake of not replacing my "emergency snack" items. So, I went to the vending machine and got almonds. Almonds, I tell ya. And I wondered why I wasn't craving the sugar that normally would weigh on my mind. I did eat too much after I got home, and then made poor food choices this morning. Yet, I never felt completely out of control.
I am SO used to struggling. I had a crazy mother who made my childhood challenging. I married a man with drug, alcohol, gambling, and not-wanting-to-work problems. I went through a divorce while in law school, for goodness sake. I am used to hard. Though I have worked really hard to get to this place, I need to figure out how to be happy here. I seem to be working to sabotage myself.
I appreciate having this place to voice my crazy thoughts. Maybe I need to see a therapist again to figure out how to adjust to my new (good) reality?
Goals -
1 - 15K steps
2 - 3 sets of body weight exercises
3 - Lifting weights
4 - Get through the first 3 items on my work to-do list
5 - Make good eating choices so the scale goes down instead of up
Really, I could have slept more, but I'll take being less than exhausted! I can't believe I was still awake, tossing and turning, at 11 p.m. Sometimes I get too tired and then I can't sleep, freak that I am. 
