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Old 08-30-2003, 01:24 PM   #1
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Default Dilemma

One of the main reasons I'm doing the September challenge is because September is a very challenging month for me socially.

Next weekend is a "girl's" weekend away, the weekend after that is a trip out of town to visit friends and the one after that is a huge annual fall-fest with friends that includes a giant pot-luck supper. Naturally, all these occasions will also include alcoholic indulgences.

So, here's my problem. On the weekend away to friends I will bring my own food so as not to put out the hostess. I figure I can "behave" if I arrive well-planned. The last occasion is the one I want to "relax" at - I fully plan to indulge (albeit gently) in food and drink.

It's the first occasion - the weekend away with the girls - that I'm stressing over. I know from experience the weekend will present all sorts of temptations (of the food and drink variety). Yeah, I know I could bring my own food and I know I could drink soda water and lime...but, it would be very, very difficult when I know pizzas will be ordered, chinese food buffets will be visited, junk food will be in abundance, etc. etc. So, I'm thinking of giving that weekend a miss.

Is it wrong to give up a weekend of good conversation and fun with friends because I'm afraid it'll put me off track on my "diet"?? If I didn't have 3 weekends in a row of this sort of thing I think I could handle it better. Do I go and try not to obsess about food and just enjoy myself and if I "slip" then so be it? Or do I forego it and take comfort in the knowledge there's more fun ahead?

If you use the mentality that we're not on a DIET but figuring out a way to incorporate these sorts of events into a normal lifestyle, then I know I shouldn't avoid situations that otherwise I'd have a great time at. But I also know I have a self-control problem (duh) that I haven't fully overcome and I'd hate for one "bad" weekend to ruin my whole month because I'd get down on myself and lose motivation.

What do you think??
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"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people." Orson Welles
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Old 08-30-2003, 03:11 PM   #2
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I would *NEVER EVER* miss out on something because of this whole weight loss thing. Puhleease. Please go. Maybe you and your friends can exercise together... well, you know swimming, walking. If not, get up a little earlier and do a tape or go for a walk. I can totally relate to this problem though... you know what happens when high school girls get together! (We can pack it away, let me tell you!) So please go, just plan extra hard and make an extreme effort to exercise consistently while you are away. Let's see what some others have to say.... -Apryl
Old 08-30-2003, 09:01 PM   #3
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I think you are right to put your overall goal ahead of your weekend of fun. It would be wwaaaayy wrong for anyone else to suggest you forgo the weekend but if it is your choice then I wouldn't feel bad about it! After all, these gals will still be your friends and you will still get together with them whether you go on the weekend or not.

From the sounds of your September something has to give and you definitely don't want it to be your WOE.

That said, if you do decide to go on the weekend then you need realistic goals to acheive (only 3 slices of pizza, only 3 beers, or whatever). There is no point in setting yourself up for failure by saying you'll be OP or will get up early to exercise after a late night of chatting, etc.

I agree this is NOT a diet but a lifelong, lifestyle thing but at the same time you don't want to get derailed for the sake of a few days. Just the same as we can't indulge in (put treat here) like some of our skinny friends, we also can't have all-weekend indulgences like some of our skinny friends.

Good luck!

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Old 08-31-2003, 01:46 AM   #4
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Default Re: Dilemma

Originally posted by Jillegal
Do I go and try not to obsess about food and just enjoy myself and if I "slip" then so be it?
That is what I would do. Be good as gold during the week b/c you know weekends are going to be challenging.

"It's never too late to be what you might have been." -George Eliot
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Old 08-31-2003, 01:00 PM   #5
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Thanks for your views - much appreciated. I've used your ideas to come up with a compromise. Instead of going for the whole weekend, I'm meeting up with the girls on Friday night for dinner (my choice of restaurant) and a gabfest and then they'll leave for the cottage on Saturday morning for a weekend of lying around, talking, drinking and watching DVDs (sigh....sounds heavenly). But this way I get to see them all and catch up on all the news and gossip and won't feel too deprived. They're great gals and very understanding of my situation (even though none of them have a weight problem). I had suggested we turn it into a health food and fitness weekend but cracked up when I saw the looks of horror on their faces (okay, I admit I was joking).

Actually though, the thought of a weekend filled with good, natural healthy food and hiking or swimming really doesn't sound at all unappealing to me now, which is a total change from my former persona of a junk food and nicotine addicted lazybones. Talk about a change for the better.
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"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people." Orson Welles
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Old 08-31-2003, 03:56 PM   #6
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I'm really proud of you! You found a great compromise that will allow you to enjoy your friends, but you know that you aren't going to get completely off track. I think that finding compromises to social situations is a problem that a lot of us face. You have accomplished so much and I'm really proud of you! Keep up the great work and enjoy the time with your friends.
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Old 09-01-2003, 12:14 AM   #7
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Wow. You really really deserve a standing ovation for that compromise. Congratulations... I see tons of success in your future if you make choices like that. -Apryl
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