How do I handle them? I don't want to just eat them, cry them or sleep them away. But the holiday blues are already taking a toll on me!!
Little back story: I grew up the youngest of 7 & Christmas was always pretty awesome. They started getting less awesome when I was in my 30s. The hardest one was the Christmas of 2000, the first one without my dad. Daddy always made Christmas, actually every holiday, special. He wasn't like the father of the Griswold's (sp?), but he just had a knack for getting the most amazingly perfect gifts & he could smile like there was no tomorrow. When he died, Christmas kinda died with him. It became too much for Mom to handle so she cancelled all of our get-togethers, any that we had during the whole year. I don't blame her, but it really hurt. Especially that because of work & distance I didn't get to spend the last 5-6 holidays with Daddy. I threw myself into more & more work just to forget the pain & try to soldier on.
Fast forward to today: I'm semi-retired so I can care for my hubby & re-cooperate from my surgery. We moved into a new home which we love. But now I CANNOT STAND ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE HOLIDAYS!! I nearly get physically ill seeing Christmas decorations & Christmas carols are something that just pushes my buttons so hard I start to just sob.
I'm on medication for the hysterectomy I had a year ago Sept. to help with my depression & anxiety, but it doesn't seem to dent anything I'm dealing with now. Should I seek out a therapist? Or see if I can find a "holiday support group"/ Cause frankly I just want to choke every Santa/elf I see. No, I won't do it, because I don't want to go to jail. So I end up crying.
What do you do when you feel the holiday blues? How do you cope in a healthy way? I'm open to any & all suggestions! Thank you!!
My DH dealt with depression and he was told to go in about every 2-3 months for a check with his doctor to see how he was feeling. So I think it'd be fine to touch base with your doctor and say you don't feel yours is helping in the way you thought. Sometimes people require a different med.
In regards to the passing of your dad, I understand your sadness and pain. I am sorry you lost him, I lost mine about 20 years ago. We were always told that the first year after a loss you will have all sorts of emotions and as each holiday passes, you find you miss your loved one terribly, often in different manners from the last holiday. It's a whole year grief process but generally it does become easier. I wouldn't see harm in talking to someone about your feelings perhaps there are other issues that you aren't cluing into. It isn't fair to live your life in such sadness. I often find myself asking when I am blue would my dad like to see me in that type of sadness? No. I know he wouldn't. If you feel outside help would be a benefit do it. Sometimes those close to us don't know what to say/do or help you make sense of your grief/frustration or anger. I don't think it's good to carry that with you always and finding someone who can be of help might be a great idea.
Wishing you well - make yourself the person you would like to share with your dad - he's always with you.
I can sort of relate. I was just in my basement wrapping presents and I started crying. I was saying to myself I hate xmas. My reason is I get overwhelmed . We have a very large xmas list. My dh side of the family has all these kids and I just get tired of shopping. He does shop but I like to get things done early and wrapped. Then my mom ( she's in her 80's) wants me to do her shopping for me and my family. Here I am, wrapping my own present ,t that I bought for myself and it's from my mom. That's what set me off. My sister told me I sholud have left ift for my mom to wrap because she does like to wrap but I had already started.
After shopping this morning then coming home and wrapping the rest of the day. I realized I still have more shopping to do. It's never ending.
When I get to this point that's when I tell my husband you do the rest. One good thing is on xmas eve I just sit and relax.
Don''t feel like it just you. Lots of people get depressed during the holidays. I feel better once the day is here but right now I'm stressed.
Feel free to vent here. I'm glad you posted this because now I feel like it's not just me, and I'm glad I posted this becuse now you see it's not just you.
How about agreeing as a family to do group gifts for the adults? E.g., everyone chips in to buy one gift, total, for each adult. This reduces the shopping stress on everyone, lowers the total cost, and also means that the recipient receives something they really want or need, rather than a bunch of low-cost "filler" gifts. Yes, the pile of presents under the tree isn't as deep, but that's not what Christmas is about, anyway.
We started doing this as a family about 10 years ago, and it really shifted the focus of the holiday away from shopping, shopping, and shopping. More recently, we've gone to no gifts (for adults) except for the gift of spending time with each other, and a loving note. But, I know that's pretty extreme for most Americans.
I asked about that years ago they said that's how they do it. I cut them off after a certain age. What makes even worse is I never see them open the gifts because they're all over the place. When we first got married we would go to my inlaws and they would be there and you could see them open gifts. Now they'reg rown and have their own kids so we give them gifts
I'm very organized about it. I make a list with their ages. There are a couple that are the same age so I buy them the same thing. When I wrap them I put a "w" next to it so I remember .I then put them in large black bags and label them so I know which house they go to.
I feel better today because I said this is my day for me so I went to the pool and worked out
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaw
How about agreeing as a family to do group gifts for the adults? E.g., everyone chips in to buy one gift, total, for each adult. This reduces the shopping stress on everyone, lowers the total cost, and also means that the recipient receives something they really want or need, rather than a bunch of low-cost "filler" gifts. Yes, the pile of presents under the tree isn't as deep, but that's not what Christmas is about, anyway.
We started doing this as a family about 10 years ago, and it really shifted the focus of the holiday away from shopping, shopping, and shopping. More recently, we've gone to no gifts (for adults) except for the gift of spending time with each other, and a loving note. But, I know that's pretty extreme for most Americans.
MTA,
I think I baseline line check in with a therapist is perfectly fine.
depression has way being an underlying condition. Then as life events occur we react to them a little stronger emotionally.
I'm not a professional so im take a big assumption and a wild guess. That if your dieting on top of depression. You could be a bit more vulnerable to emotional triggers.
I could recommend some mood boosting vegetables and good sleep and vitaminD exercise and possibly a socially motivation exercise class... with a buddy. However there too i would be guessing. ��i don't believe chickpeas could be best or only answer, however holidays blues may not be the only reason for your depression but a trigger of something possibly underlying . So seeing a therapist to help sort through your emotional goals could be a good first step forward.
Holiday Blues
