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Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, beginning again.

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Old 08-13-2015, 06:18 PM   #1
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Unhappy Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, beginning again.

I don't usually post on these boards, but today has been hard. I am feeling frustrated and hopeless. It feels like my whole life I have been on a diet or trying to lose weight somehow. I will do really well for a month or so with counting calories or exercising and then I fall off the horse, regain all the weight I lost plus some. Today I have been feeling gross. My clothes don't fit very well, I can't move as well as I could a year or two ago. I am sick of it and ready for a change, but I am tired of trying and failing. It seems overwhelming to try to lose 130 pounds. I don't even know where to begin. Any other day I would find comfort in food, but in this moment I realized that bingeing would make me hate myself more today.

Anyone ever felt like this? Any advice about how I can get back on track without feeling too overwhelmed?

Thanks.
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Old 08-13-2015, 07:05 PM   #2
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Awe, pitselah big to you. My guess is that if you polled everyone who is part of 3FC you will find that nearly all of us have felt this way at one time or another. Don't be so hard on yourself. We all fall off the wagon. I think the important thing is picking yourself back up and starting again. Three years ago I was 50 pounds lighter. Romance issues, job promotion, ailing parent who passed away this year, and other things led to a level of stress and exhaustion I hadn't experienced before. I can relate to what you're going through: still tired, clothes snug or don't fit, and seeking comfort in food. But I haven't given up. In the past I did and quite easily.

I can't speak to bingeing and won't even try as that has never been an issue to me. The only thing I suggest is discussing this with a doctor, a trusted doctor who will listen, if you haven't already done so.

Regarding eating and just living in general: can you do something positive that will make you feel good every day? It doesn't have to be big to matter. Maybe it's not about counting calories right now. Maybe it's one good food choice. Years ago I had a roommate who wasn't overweight but didn't care much for vegetables, decide that she would eat 1 serving of vegetables every day. Nothing else changed and this is a lady who is a big time sugar lover. But she did it. For you it may be something like that. Or it might be a 10 minute walk or drinking all your water. Maybe it's eating dessert (or whatever your favorite thing is) every other day instead of every day. The fact that you came to the conclusion that bingeing would make you feel worse than better was an excellent, empowered choice!

How's the home life? I ask because maybe the good choice you make today doesn't center on food. Procrastination is in my blood. Every time I do something immediately instead of waiting makes me feel good and reduces my stress level. Reduced stress usually leads to me making better nutrition choices.

Stop focusing on the 130 pound number. I truly think that looking at the total number sabotages us in so many ways. Kaplods, one of the most prolific and logical posters to 3FC has stated that she focuses on 1 pound at a time, and when that one is gone, she focuses on the next pound. At any given time it's just 1 pound. BTW, I'd do a search of Kaplods' postings as she's written some wonderful pieces and really keeps this weight loss stuff in perspective.

Finally, you have a lot of support here at 3FC. Peruse the boards. Get chatting on some of the conversations that interest you. Keep asking questions and keep learning from all the collective wisdom that's here.
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Old 08-13-2015, 07:43 PM   #3
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Hi curvynotlumpy . Please try taking baby steps. I have an all or nothing personality. I am changing one thing at a time this go round and it is working. Slow going but, it is working.

Time will pass anyway.

Sending you hugs and good wishes for success.

Last edited by thinin08 : 08-13-2015 at 07:44 PM.
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Old 08-13-2015, 07:57 PM   #4
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Losing 130lbs seems crazy hard...but how about 5lb? That doesn't sound so bad, does it? Just take it 5lb at a time. Start small!
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Old 08-16-2015, 09:42 AM   #5
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It's not uncommon to feel overwhelmed/hopeless when you have a significant amount of weight to lose. It's psychologically easier to avoid the long, daunting journey by never taking the first step. It also doesn't help that many of us are serial dieters and each time we start a diet, we use the same approach that hasn't worked in the past -- we go right back to restricting our food intake, cutting out all sorts of food groups, we avoid truly enjoying social situations involving food, and we undertake unreasonable/unsustainable exercise regimes, etc. That's not a fun life to live. That's suffering, plain and simple. It's no wonder we eventually give up. Who wants to suffer for the rest of their life?

So how do we set ourselves up for success? For myself...it's all about changing the perspective. I practice recognizing/breaking cycles that have caused me to struggle so much in the past. Essentially, I wake up each day and commit to the day only. I don't really care about yesterday or tomorrow because those points in time are not in my control. No point in dwelling on things I cannot control. It detracts from decisions of today. And today, for the most part, is in my control.

A big part of living in the present is ending the suffering. I touch on this a bit in my blog. For me, severe food restriction/extreme exercise = suffering.

My status quo is to eat reasonable portion sizes and to watch my intake in terms of ensuring that I am eating a balanced diet from a macro/micro nutrient perspective. While there are some foods I do generally avoid, if I am craving something or am out in a social situation, then I will have a bit of what I want and then be done with it.

This is in contrast to old habits where I would say no, obsessively dwell on the food I couldn't have (which would just make me want it even more), eventually give in, feel guilty/shame/hopelessness, and go on to eat everything in sight because I felt like a failure for not achieving perfection.

Perfection is not realistic. Suffering is not inevitable. You need to find the balance where you enjoy what you are doing on a daily basis with room for flexibility. It's so much easier to achieve what you want when you aren't struggling with yourself at every turn.

Best of luck in your journey. You can do it, one day at a time.
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Old 08-16-2015, 11:46 AM   #6
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Pitselah, I could have written what you wrote. I too had 130 lbs. to lose and have lost about 50 lbs. so far. I can tell you what is working for me. First, I increased my protein intake and it is keeping me full for longer so that I do not have as many craving to binge. I went from eating virtually no meat to having chicken or fish every day. Also, I am attending at least two meetings of Overeaters Anonymous per week. Having the support of others like me (I too am a binge eater) is so helpful. Hope this helps!
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Old 08-16-2015, 09:32 PM   #7
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THANK YOU everyone for your posts,it is so encouraging to know you are not alone in this weight loss/control journey.I am a stress binger.
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Old 08-19-2015, 11:27 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robinm View Post
First, I increased my protein intake and it is keeping me full for longer so that I do not have as many craving to binge. I went from eating virtually no meat to having chicken or fish every day.
Hi Robin,
I totally agree with you, and that is what is working for me as well. I am hooked on Morningstar Farms veggie burgers. I'm eating them so often, I googled to see if eating the same thing every day is bad for you, and the medical sites say it's ok.

They're high protein, low fat and calories, and my cravings for sugar and fat are gone; I'm convinced it's the protein that's keeping me full and not wanting to binge.

I'm following Weight Watchers, each burger is 3 points (tonight I had 2), and I add tons of mushrooms and about 1/4 cup of spaghetti sauce, and sometimes a little shredded cheese...I don't even miss having them in a roll. Fills you up, tastes great, no cravings.
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Old 08-19-2015, 11:52 PM   #9
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First off, pitselah Hope that helps a little!

Best advice is to not look at how much you have to loose, but make lots of mini goals. That is the easiest way of attacking this kind of weight loss. I, too, have a lot to loose. But I know that just like I put it on a pound at a time...I'll take it off a pound at a time.

You may not recognize my name. I've been away for awhile. My hubby & I have been moving into a new home, so it's been far too busy to be online. We are pretty well settled now & now I can get to the task a hand! LOOSING THOSE EXTRA POUNDS!!

Yes, at times it gets very aggravating but it is sooo worth it! Start small..make your goal to eat healthy for one day, or to exercise for 3-4 days in a week. You'll be amazed what you can do. Think of loosing weight like a journey. You don't get from point A to point B in the blink of an eye, it takes time & some effort. YOU CAN DO IT!!! You're not alone!
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