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i need help badly

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Old 08-08-2003, 04:45 PM   #1
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ok. you may remember my ex. really screwed with my head in a really bad way. well its still affecting me. during the day i'm fine no probs occasioally something will trigger a memory but i can stop that think of other things. but what really gets me is the night time. when its dark and i close my eyes. the last thing i see before the demons come is her face. hear her voice. then when asleep she regularly appears in my dreams. and that affects me the next day. cos its on my mind. so i've been avoiding sleep i slept for 12 hours since last saturday. i been taking the xenadrine and hydroxycut together not to lose weight but just to stay awake due to the caffiene in them. plus i also drink coffee on top. i know this can't go on. i need some serious help but i can't get it free cos its all mental and the refferal will take months. i can't afford to eat properly let alone pay for help. this is really starting to bite hard. i'm so tired but i don't want to sleep its like she is my freddy kruger. in my head when i'm asleep haunting my thoughts. and i really want it to stop. i'm getting desperate.
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Old 08-08-2003, 05:12 PM   #2
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Hey Si,

As always, this advice is worth what you paid for it, but here goes.

I'm a really heavy sleeper so I seldom dream (more correctly I don't remember them) but I often have trouble falling asleep. Here are some thoughts to try & keep the demons at bay so you can get a good night's rest:
1. A natural sleep aid like St. John's Wort or Valerian Root (my favourite).
2. A white noise generator (like those things that play ocean sounds, etc).
3. I know it sounds silly but if I'm desperate I count breathes (in 2,3,4,5 - out 2,3,4,5)

Another thing might be books on tape (from your library or check out audible.com). I don't like falling asleep to them as I always lose my place but sometimes I listen to "golden oldies" on my headphones as they are "soothing" and don't engage my mind to keep me awake but do keep me from reviewing the day, etc.

I don't know the backstory but would constructing mental scenarios where your ex gets her comuppance help (or make things worse )

Hope this helps and we are sending good thoughts your way!
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Old 08-08-2003, 06:10 PM   #3
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Hey Si,

You can't let some messed up chick get to you like that. I've been there myself [was almost married] and it takes a while to get over it. The ephedra stuff is only going to make matters worse -- avoiding sleep will make the bad dreams and memories all the worse when you finally have to sleep.

My advice is avoid the caffeine completely during the day. Read a book for an hour before you get into bed...this will focus your thoughts on something else and will make you tired (at least it does for me).

Are you out there dating again? It would do you good to feel that spark of attraction to someone again.
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Old 08-08-2003, 06:16 PM   #4
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After my father died a few years ago, I began having serious trouble sleeping. My doctor suggested that I try taking Ambien for a month or two to help. I was very hesitant because I had tried other prescription sleep medications and they had horrible side effects for me (wierd dreams and sluggish mornings). But this one really worked for me. It was a very small pill and it put me to sleep quickly and quietly. I never even remembered getting drowsy. I would just wake up in the morning feeling really refreshed. No wierd dreaming or startled waking during the night. I was on it for about a month and then I used it occasionally for another two or three. Different things work for different people, but Ambien worked for me. I hope this helps.
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Old 08-08-2003, 06:26 PM   #5
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Whoa, Si, sounds like you need to invest in that therapy. Avoiding sleep? It does sound like a Freddy Kruger movie.

I had a psycho ex too. Haunted my dreams. I even had a relapse when I fell in love with someone new. I would dream that he turned into my ex. Bad bad stuff.

As for the dreams. Try a bit of dream therapy. When you wake up, think about your dream and how it affected you, what it meant, and then how you would change your dream/nightmare.

As for the psycho ex still creepy into your life. Well, dreaming is usually a sign that you're avoiding something you need to deal with. Journal. Sounds like you got a lot of crap still in your head from this chick and get it out! I journalled for months after the psycho ex, most of it wasn't insightful but it felt good getting it out. I recommend the book, In the Meantime by Iylana Vanzant. It helped me through a wicked time.

And for the love of god stop taking xenadrine and hydroxycut! Like that's doing you any good? Quit damaging yourself. You're worth more than letting a worthless pod person pyscho ex drive you to the edge. Get some sleep, she won't seem so much like the boogie man in the morning.
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Old 08-09-2003, 03:36 AM   #6
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Flush the Xenadrine down the toilet. Do the same w/the Hydroxycut. Invest in some Melatonin to help you sleep.

As for getting over your ex, good luck. Time heals all.
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Old 08-09-2003, 10:13 AM   #7
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Si, I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. We all care about you and don't want to see you doing this to yourself. Take control of your life and don't give her the control of ruining your life. Get rid of that garbage you're taking and don't undo all the good you've done. You've lost a lot of weight and you've gotten in great shape, so take pride in yourself and don't throw it all away now.
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Old 08-09-2003, 11:02 AM   #8
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Si, i had problems with an ex a couple of years ago and i couldent function after we split up...i asked my GP about counceling and i was refered...ok i couldent choose which councelor i saw but she really helped A friend of mine also saw a councelor privatly and it cost around 40 per session...i know what people think of councelors but this woman really helped me and only by her helping me make sense of things was i able to move on and get on with life MY WAY and start a new relationship!!
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Old 08-10-2003, 09:55 PM   #9
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si.... the caffeine is making this work. not to mention the xenadrine and hydroxycut. you are well on your way to addiction here, darlin.

staying up all night makes a person see and hear things they wouldn't normally. these drugs are making it worse, not helping.

try some meditation during the day. it goes something like this: sit still. eyes closed. and let the thoughts come. if they're your ex, change the scenario. make something else happen. blowing her up is a possibility. but so is making her fade out. turning the volume dowh. distorting her features in your mind. telling her off. telling her to go away and leave you alone.

it doesn't have to be a lot of time. 5 minutes is a good start.

and please come back and post more often.
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