Coming back at my highest weight ever, but for a good reason.
Hey guys...just making a quick post to say that I am back. Just re-posting my main introduction here to this group to save some time for anyone who is interested in where I have been and why. I want to jump back in, and the 100 lb. Club was always my home when I was on the boards...missed you all!
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Originally Posted by opheliaphoenix
Hello everyone! I don't know how many people are still around that might remember me or my username, lol...but, I'm back! I haven't been on here since late Fall of 2013, and I have gained all of my weight back, plus an additional 12 pounds...putting me at a record weight of 294 lbs as of a doctor's appointment last week. Something needs to change...RIGHT NOW. I am terrified of slipping over the 300 lb threshold, and I am practically already there. So, I am coming back to the only place who has kept me mentally accountable in the past.
Now, if you're wondering what the "good reason" I was talking about in the title, it is something truly miraculous that happened which heavily contributed to the weight gain...
After over three years of struggling with infertility and falling apart many times over the sinking, gut-wrenching realization that I would likely never be able to have a child of my own (some of you may remember this goal being a dominating focus in my weight loss successes in the past)...I finally got the happiest news of my life in December 2013. I was pregnant!
As you can imagine, I was over the moon. And, I actually tried eating as healthily as possible, because I was still about 237 lbs when I got pregnant and knew that getting much heavier wouldn't be good for me or the baby. And, things went well for most of the pregnancy. But, just as I hit the third trimester, I ended up developing preeclampsia, which quickly worsened. I swelled like a balloon, and while it was mostly the severe water retention, I put on a solid 25 lbs in less than two weeks (I didn't even look like myself anymore)and was being closely monitored for my blood pressures and the baby's movement. But, by 32 weeks, I was hospitalized and bedridden with IVs until they could figure out what to do next. And, a few hectic days later, they had to do an emergency c-section, and my son was born almost 8 weeks early. Not at all what we expected, but he was as healthy as he could be for coming that soon. He was only in the NICU for two weeks for observations while he figured out how to eat and for his body to healthily maintain his temperatures, since he was so tiny. (He was 3lbs, 14 oz at birth.)
Unfortunately, this negatively impacted my ability to breastfeed successfully, even with pumping every day while he was in the hospital...so, I was only able to do that for a little over a month or so after he came home, which was incredibly stressful for me and took an emotional toll, on top of everything else. And, that's when things started spiralling out of control for me as far as food goes. I still had the breastfeeding appetite, but wasn't able to produce and then I ended up eating to cope with the myriad of emotions I was still struggling to process. So, even though I initial dropped almost 35 pounds of that water weight explosion/pregnancy weight after leaving the hospital, I started to pile real pounds back on. That, combined with a lack of sleep, made for a very lazy and lethargic new mommy when it came to even the idea of exercise, much less actually bringing myself to do anything about it. Which, of course, didn't help at all with the weight gain.
So, here I am...stuck in a vicious cycle and that same old rut. But, now that my son is almost 8 months old, he's finally getting to the point where he sleeps much better at night, so I'm starting to feel a little better about the idea of expending some energy on my own health again. And, let's face it...I can't blame this on baby weight anymore. It's just terrible food and not wanting to move, ha.
So, my good reason is that I finally got pregnant and had a miracle baby against all the odds - even when I had a doctor in the past who told me I likely never would. And, now...he is also the even better reason to get myself back into shape! I want to be a healthy role model for him as he grows up, and I want to be around for a very long time to see him grow up -- and, I'd also like grow old with his daddy.
Plus, he's going to be up and walking before I know it, and I need to be able to keep up with him! (I took him to the park for the first time with his big brother and sister (my stepkiddos!) not long ago, and I got my rear end stuck halfway down the slide. Not a good sign. Talk about a freaking wake up call! Ugh.)
I need to lose over half of my body weight, and I'm on the precipice of freefalling into the 300s...and, it's overwhelming. But, I'm ready.
Welcome back, and congrats on your new bundle!! If there were ever a good reason to explain some weight gain...being a mommy after the struggle of infertility is the best reason.
Glad you are back to 3FC...I love this place too. We were probably on the boards at the same time before...but I've had a son since then too...and as you know, you forget a lot with the lack of sleep!
Coming back at my highest weight ever, but for a good reason.
I'm new here, so it's nice to see that people can form good connections!
