Oh Laurie you really are doing it hard at the moment, I'm not a therapist and have never benn but my cousin who is like a sister to me had alot of success with meditation. She was suffering with food issues and panic attacks after a marriage break up and the Christchurch earthquakes, she found it helped her to center herself and sort of reset herself. It might be helpful to do something that is totally not related to food -- I don't know just putting it out there!
You poor sick girls! Sending you all healthy dust
The sun is finally out here so the boys are excited to get going, I have a hungover husband lol so need to shoehorn him out of bed. 10 days of rain!! Let that be the end ... please. Weigh in tomorrow .. not sure I'll make goal but I'm sure to be close, surely. Ive been on plan but I did have a cider and some rice curls last night when I was home alone...oh and dried mango, addicted to dried mango! Right out of my jammies and into the sun!!
Weight is still in the 193-195 range. Haven't taken inches. This last week was crazy with driving for work training. Worked a couple of 10 hour days. And didn't get a lunch on Thursday because, in spite of having so many people for most of the day, only 3 or 4 of us were actually helping customers. The others were walking around doing who knows what. -_- Needless to say, I was one of those who kept helping customers because every time I asked someone to take a customer so I could go to lunch, they'd ignore me. Oh. Well.
My numbers aren't bad, but they're not as high as I'd like them to be for my commission check right now because of last week's training interfering with the number of actual work days I had. All that means, though, is that I'm going to have to work super hard and really maximize my hours this week to end the month as strongly as possible. I'm also going to have to make a point of trying even harder to get customers in and out as quickly as possible so I can help as many as possible. Especially on Black Friday and the Saturday following. And that Sunday if I work it.
I'm off the Wednesday before Thanksgiving so when I finish with court, I can just relax. I'm going to swing by campus and, if it's open like I'm praying it is, I'll be able to drop off my transcripts and the last bit of financial aid applications. I'm really doubting that I'll be able to get financial aid for the winter quarter at this point, but if I can get on to a financially do-able payment plan for Winter, I'm still going to try and take enough online classes for winter to be able to go to school part time. If I'm lucky, I might be able to get a late payout for financial aid in February that way.
This with Josh are still going well. I'm still not entirely sure where it's going long-term or even what it is right now but I'm okay with that. We got together several nights ago and talked for a while. It's clear that he'd been having some stress and anxiety over how out of control he is in regards to certain aspects of his life and his future. He apologized at one point while he was talking, said something about how he's being depressing or something like that. And then he apologized again early the next morning about being in a weird mood. The thing is, to me, for him to feel comfortable enough to talk about what's bothering him at all, I take it as a compliment. It's a nice feeling because from what I believe to be true about him, he doesn't trust easy. He doesn't trust easy at all!
At this point, I think both of us are really counting the days until I can move into the Lacey area so that we can spend more time together rather than an hour here or there at Starbucks or chatting in a parking lot. All I can do is hope that this month and then next prove that I can maintain a level of commission to where I feel comfortable with my ability to pay rent and utilities, whether I end up with a roommate or not.
Hope things are going relatively well for the rest of you and I'll try and pop in more often but with working retail and it being the holiday season, I'm not sure how successfully that goal with be.
Hi all. Feeling slightly better today. I think with tomorrow being a rest day too, I should be on the mend enough to go work out on Monday. With Thanksgiving coming, I'd like to get in Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday workouts at least. I made my breakfast burritos, so I'm back to being stocked up for my breakfasts. Don't get too excited, they are lower calorie, so not those spectacular ones that are loaded with sausage/bacon/potatoes, etc. But, they work so well for me for breakfast at work, I like mine.
Jessica: You sound really busy!! Hang in there! I hope you can makes lots of money over the black Friday weekend.
MissLoud: Enjoy the sun!! We haven't had any today, and tomorrow it is supposed to be nasty, with either rain or snow.
Laurie: You definitely have to do whatever works for you. I hope you get to feeling better about it all. This is a hard journey! Stay well!!
Mandy: Glad you are feeling better. It is hard to do much of anything when you're feeling like that.
Uber: Well, if your clothes are feeling bigger, you are definitely losing inches, even if the scale is stupid. Who knows what is going on with the numbers?! It is frustrating, but you know you are going the right way!
Jenni: Good to see you again! Glad you had fun in Disney!
Mandy: I love that saying......what a great thing to remind ourselves of!
Jessica: You are a busy bee I don't know how you keep up with it all!!!! Glad to hear from you, I think about you and how you are doing!
Diane: I am glad you are feeling better. I am treating turkey day as a reward day so I am really being strict until then. I would love to get workouts in as well!
Laurie: Hubby did do well with the kids and the house was picked up. Laundry was well bad but his clean and my clean are WAY different...I was doing well deep cleaning all day! He really did well with the girls and got them to school and dance and well I am proud for that! I had so much fun at Disney. And I am a lot like you with what you described. I really only try and weigh 1 day a week because of it!
Kelly: Glad you had sunshine!
For me! I will be lucky to pull a 4 pound loss this month I am trying to look at it as at least it is a loss but it is hard. I know I sound whinny and I should be thankful it is just a really hard pill to swallow!
Laurie Binge/restrict/binge/restrict... I am so sorry that I know exactly what you are talking about. I way too familiar with it... particularly in my case the big ole binge that makes you feel horrible. It's no way to live. Glad you're going to bring up with your therapist!
Jessica: It's always hard learning the ropes at your new job. Good luck with the college financial aid too. All this effort will eventually pay off for you!
MissLoud: Dried mango is like crack for me! I can't even keep it in the house!
Mandy: Love your picture and quote. It's SO TRUE!
Jenni: A four pound loss in a vacation month is solid! But feel free to whine here! We all get it.
Diane: glad you are feeling better. My little one who was sick all last week got better for two days and now is running a fever. Take care of yourself!
I had another good day. Weighed in this morning at 247 so just one over ticker... I am really looking forward to dropping below 246... I've had no losses since the beginning of October, but the fantastic thing is that I also haven't gained in spite of everything. But now, I'm ready for downward movement.
Went grocery shopping. Got stuff to make some salad wraps for lunches and snacks for the next week. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my diet and of several things I've come to a conclusion. One, I need to start religiously tracking what I'm eating. I know for a fact that I've been consuming under 1000 calories most days of the week and that's a very bad thing. I'm lucky to eat two meals usually. Two, and a follow-up on one, I lose better when I'm tracking. That's just the bottom line. It's not because I over eat if I don't but, rather, because I under eat in terms of both quality and quantity. My carb to fat to protein ratios go out the window. Three, a few weeks back, Josh mentioned that after watching some videos his vegan friend sent him, he had decided to stop eating meat. I've actually thought about it a lot over the years but never actually made the change. I've come close in that I'll stop eating anything aside from fish or chicken, but never completely cut out meat. As a side note, he is considering adding fish back into his diet given the health benefits and the fact that you can get local fish that have been processed in both a humane and hygienic fashion pretty easily in this area.
Anyway, I've found that, more often than not, I have no desire to eat anything in this house right now. It just doesn't appeal to me. A lot of it is processed and while I appreciate some good fried food on occasion, I've noticed that they cook with a lot of oil in this house. There is nothing wrong with healthy oils but my eggs, for example, don't need to be cooked in oil... They just don't.
In an ideal world where I had the money I'd probably go hard-core on a path of whole living... Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world. So I suck it up and move on, I suppose. The point is, I've decided to start transitioning into a vegetarian method of eating. Maybe I should say semi-vegetarian? I don't know where exactly the line gets drawn, but I know I love my dairy products and eggs too much to cut them out. Not to mention that as a baker, it'd be wholly unacceptable to tell me I had to. :P
Mandy: Did you mean Jessica? I thought that could not have been for me because I LOVE meat LOL How are you feeling?
Uber: Thank you.....I am glad to have a place where everyone gets it! I don't know how people do it alone. No one in my house is overweight....my kids seem to have gotten my husbands genes (tall skinny). My mom is losing weight with me, she has lost 25 pounds so far so it's nice to have someone in my life like that, but I can't share everything just because she is my mom LOL My sister always says she wants to start but never does. well, it is so hard sometimes. Everytime my sis see's my mom she says such nice things "wow you can really tell you have lost weight," ect... but has never said anything to me. I am not doing it for the compliments, but I have not heard any compliments and I am really trying not to take it as hurtful. And I am so sorry about your father I just read everything! My grandma died to cancer when I was 17, I watched her die slowly. She lived with us for awhile and I remember helping her on the toilet and such. So I am really sorry for your loss!
Jessica: I have no words of wisdom for vegetarian. But I do feed 8 months on a VERY limited budget. You can buy a lot in bulk and I buy the frozen chicken that you can cook individually. There is a lot you can budget with the food, I hope you find your grove!
So my sister, niece, mom, dad, and they took my 5 year old to go to my grandpa's 90th birthday. I have been down today because I really wanted all my girls there and myself of course. It's just a hard day. If I would have known they were doing this earlier I would have said no to Disney. My 2 youngest have never met him he lives 16 hours away. So I am really hoping we can plan a road trip soon. It was hard living in South Korea and my babies growing up not having family around so these moments are rare and I felt a little left out that I didn't know they were planning this sooner
I kind of explained a little to Uber too about losing and not having anyone in my family recognize it. Just kind of looked over. I mean my hubby tries but oh well I am not doing it for the compliments I am doing it for the health of it!
Well ladies I'm officially at my first mini goal I weighed in at 242.6, -2.8 this week. So excited to see those numbers, its been about 4 years so into new territory for me. I am totally convinced I will get to my main goal this time, my mindset is different but I also think you guys are one of the main reasons I've stayed on track. Not only for your advice and encouragement but your shared stories and honesty - so a big Thank you and
So onwards and upwards next goal 234 by Christmas - I think its doable, I'm certainly going to try my darnedest! I thought 243 was doable by Christmas so anything below that is an awsome bonus!
Hope you ladies are having a lovely weekend, we are done with ours so its a full on Monday for me, my husband is away working. I'm kind of pleased its a fast day, I find them easier when I'm busy. Had a lovely family day yesterday, christmas parade and ice creams at the park followed by a bbq, just an ice block for me and heavy on the salads at the bbq so navigated that well. No foreseeable bumps this week so no excuses to go off plan - lol
Hope all the sickness goes away and everyone is fit and well for another week.
Will do personals tonight, got a rampaging toddler!!!!!!!!!
I actually did not end up doing the fast thing. I did until about 6:30 on Saturday, then my hubby asked me to go eat with him, and I did. Which would have been fine, but. . . . I had a rough weekend foodwise, and I did not go to the gym.
I think I just need some relax time on all of this. Not eating everything in sight. Not striving to see a number change on the scale every day. I almost didn't even want to come here, but I do not do well when I am completely unmoored.
I am going to drink a lot today, get to the gym this afternoon and only push it if I genuinely feel like I want to, and eat reasonable amounts of food. I also don't want any more cookies and donuts and pretzel pieces or any of the junk I've been indulging in.
Jessica - Thrilled to see you posting again! Glad things are going well with the boy and the weight, and that things are getting better and better on the job front. As for the vegetarian thing -- it can be a relatively inexpensive option, depending on what you want to eat. Some people who losing weight eschew grains, but I have always found brown rice and potatoes economical and low-calorie. Frozen vegetables tend to be reasonable as well, and fruit in season can be an economical addition. When I was vegan for two years or so, those were some of the poorest years of my life.
Uber - So happy that you're back on plan and in the swing of things, and that your life events didn't translate to big gains. I am rooting for the 245 and below weights coming your way soon!
Jenni - I hear what you're saying, and I'm by no means a clean freak. Every couple of weeks, I move the couches and chairs and sweep the hardwood floors beneath them in the living room. My husband came downstairs when I was doing it and was totally perplexed. "Are we having company?" =) Yeah. The slow losses make me crazy too. But you are going in the right direction!
Kelly - Yay on your great scale results! I, too, find that just being busy works well for me to stay on plan.
Mandy - I really, really love that quote. It helps to remember that we are not simply our weight. It's so easy for that to get lost when I spend so much time focusing on weight loss.
Diane - You crack me up. I'll get excited about your breakfast burritos despite their lack of sausage/bacon/potatoes. =) And very happy you're feeling better. Hope you get both the physical and psychological benefits of your work-outs in spades this week!
I spent the weekend submitting job applications. My financial situation is much better than it has been in the past, but I have finally accepted that this is not a reason to accept not making what I could be making, especially as my kids still have some unmet dental needs. I also got an offer on my long-ago job interview, but it was not good enough to cause me to want to switch jobs.
The point is, I think I need to really internalize what Mandy posted. I need to focus more on my fiery heart and amazing brain. Going crazy with weight loss doesn't serve that purpose, and neither does feeding my body in a way that makes it feel ill and uncomfortable all the time. I think I am going to spend this week searching for that elusive middle ground. It's evaded me for decades, but it's worth exploring that path again.
Hello my people!!! Okay so I haven't posted in what feels like forever! Which is probably more like a week. But still... what is life without exaggeration?! Last time I was on here, it was like midnight and I was still at work and yes, I ended up not getting home till 3 am so one would hope I slept the rest of the week away and that's why I disappeared? Not so. I had a conference on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday plus my dad's birthday and then Friday was a mad rush between work and prepping for my dad's big birthday/retirement party on Saturday so it's been bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S). AND the sad thing is that I was actually on here on Friday and was going to do a quick check in but then got sucked in catching up with you guys and then couldn't resist the urge to do personals even though I know you guys don't mind either way, I WANTED to because I MUST say something about EVERYTHING and so anyway, I started taking notes so some of the personals are a little #TardyForTheParty but still.
GirlyGirlSebas: I'm so glad you're feeling better. I think just being kind to yourself at this point is the most important thing. The first "easiest" (but not at all easy) step I think is always cutting portions- as in take what you'd serve someone, cut it in half and that's what you get? But I dunno, what were you successful with in the past? What did you like or dislike about it- you could do a mishmash of plans. I've always calorie counted. I've counted every calorie that has passed my lips since July 2009 and when I don't it feels weird. But this also means that calorie counting no longer has the power to keep me on track. I tracked every calorie to gaining 40 lbs even though I was regularly running and working out during my regain, I can tell you where and when and how I ate too much. But it IS a guide. I'm also doing 5:2 intermittent fasting right now and it's been really helpful with balancing out my sometimes over-liberal eating ways. Maybe you can marry different elements of eating plans you like, and come up with something perfect for you.
Uber: I'm soooo sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of and praying for you and your family through this difficult time. I'm glad the scale is cooperating in the right direction and yay for the bright spot of the NSV of needing smaller clothes!
Mandy: Yay on making peace with a new goal for the celebratory season. Maintenance over the festive period is hard enough without adding the extra pressure to be a weight loss fiend trying to achieve a summer body in the middle of winter festivities and I think it's a super goal you've set. I've got a few weeks yet because we don't have Thanksgiving here (although for reasons best known to whomever, we have Black Friday- tsk) so I've got no excuses till Christmas party week (also known as the week before Christmas).
MissLoud: Yay on rocking your plan so hard that you've had to set a further goal. That's awesome and you deserve every success! Congratulations! Of course the icing on the weightloss cake is hitting your first mini goal! Here's to much more amazing success as you go on!
Laurie: I'm so sorry you've been feeling shaky with being on plan. I'm glad you're going to be talking to someone about it, hopefully that helps with everything. I also think that maybe since you've been all go for such a long period, maybe you need a planned maintenance-style break from being so "on it." Not in a free-for-all way that makes you feel physically ill, but in maybe a more relaxed plan way as you've said. I think this journey is like work and just like after a really busy period, you need a break so you don't burn out, weightloss is similar. I know you'll be okay and I'm so grateful for your honesty (and everyone's honesty) in sharing what you're going through because it's good to be reminded that success isn't linear and this isn't a weightloss infomercial and just because we're successful and losing weight doesn't make everything else perfect or mean there's no mental struggle and I know they're lurkers we're helping by being honest and sharing. So thanks. AND on the positive, yay size 10! I know, I know- it's one store. But hey, at my lightest weight, LOFT thought I was an XS, size 4 when I was in reality an 8. Who was I to disabuse them. I was a size 4 in one store, vanity notwithstanding. Also, yay on pursuing better work opportunities, I'm thinking of you and praying you find something better soon!
Slashni: I'm sorry you were so under the weather and hope you feel 100% soon so you can get back on your workout grind!
Jenni: Yay 50 miles in 3 days at Disney! That's one of the best things about theme parks. The food, being scared pantsless on rides, and walking marathons. I'm glad you had a good time! I hope you get the opportunity soon to do that road trip and make even more special family memories.
Jessica: It sounds like a really busy period for you with everything. I'm glad you checked in and are doing well. Fingers crossed for you with the upcoming big retail season, court and financial aid. Please keep posting about transitioning to vegetarian if you end up doing it. Right now, I'm too much of a carnivore to give meat up but then I never knew I'd eat half the veggies I'm now obsessed with so I know tastes change and it would be interesting to follow your transition.
Okay so last week was a little rough on the plan. My dad had a birthday AND retired so there were dinners and a party and whilst it wasn't horrible, my calorie average for the week was higher than I like and I didn't work out as much as I would have liked ALTHOUGH I worked out HARD the few times I did so that's a plus. On the bright side, I stayed the same exact weight (180.0) in spite of the general foodation so that's a plus. AND I was sore from my workouts so who knows, maybe in real life, I'm actually in the 170s but the scale and water weight and who knows what else are part of an evil conspiracy to thwart me but I will prevail this week when I stick to plan and vanquish their dark alliance and see the 170s, HA! OR maybe, it was just a rough week and I should be happy I maintained. Either way, the part about sticking to plan and vanquishing the scale must happen this week, expected TOM or not.
Today is a fast day and I got up to work out so that was a good start to the day. The fast is going only so-so but I still have 250 calories left for dinner so whilst not ideal for a big dinner lover like myself- it's not too bad, it's workable. My cousin is having the first half of her wedding (the traditional/cultural one) this weekend and so that's a whole huge family trip as she's the first of my generation getting married and we're like a 75-minute flight away. I leave on Friday and get back on Sunday which totally makes awkward my usual weigh in and means I need to be ON IT this week, no slacking. Her contemporary/modern/legal/actual wedding is in a couple of weeks and that involves ANOTHER flight and ANOTHER weekend away but oh well. It's her wedding, she can make us travel twice if she wants to. I kid. She really is the most considerate bride and keeps saying we don't have to come all the way and can pick a wedding to attend if we must. AS IF! This is the first wedding in the family in over 12 years, and the first in my lifetime with us being on the bride's side, better believe we're all going to gawk! #Sigh
Anyway, you guys have been on my mind since last week and it's gotten to where I feel a little like I've missed doing something if I don't at least read what's up on here so now I can finally breathe a sigh of relief, I'm caught up with my people. I hope everyone is healthy and happy and doing okay. I'm thinking of you all and praying for success for us all. Wishing everyone a great day.
Last edited by toastedsmoke; 11-24-2014 at 11:14 AM.
Hi all!
Yay, back on track! I am feeling so much better now. I went to Spin this morning, had my usual burrito, and a salad planned for lunch. Feeling better now. I do need to get some water in today. I've been lacking on that. So, I'm thinking I shouldn't have a problem getting in workouts tomorrow and Wednesday at least. Back to my comfort zone.
Toasted: So happy to see you posting!! Missed you! Sounds like you're still really busy, too, but still doing well with workouts and weight!! Good job!
Laurie: I think that is a good idea to work on keeping Mandy's quote on your mind. We all need that! We're more than a number on a scale, that's for sure!!
MissLoud: Congrats on meeting the first goal! That's awesome!!
Jenni: While it would be nice to get some compliments, I think that if you keep in mind that it is for health and for YOU, that makes it better!! I think you're doing so great!!!!!!
Jessica: Glad to hear you got some healthy food at the store! It is important to keep healthy while you're losing, too!
Uber: Not gaining is also a victory!!! Good for you!
I have been mentally writing this post for a couple of days, and I finally decided I wanted to get it out of my head and onto the screen. I think it might be therapeutic. Maybe.
Advantages and Disadvantages of Being on Plan
(I would normally do this in column form, but it feels more organic to me this way.)
* Disadvantage - I rarely get to really enjoy "treats" or "normal food" like pizza and fried chicken and cheeseburgers.
* Advantage - When I plan them, I really enjoy those "treats" much more than when they're not planned.
* Disadvantage - My way of eating and need to prioritize the gym gets in the way of social interactions, especially with my husband.
* Advantage - When I am not on plan, especially when I have been off plan for an extended period of time, I get really, really hungry. I get embarrassed eating that much in front of anyone, so I tend to eat with my husband, then plot ways that I can escape his company so that I can eat enough to satisfy my outsized appetite when he's not around. I also am far more likely to eat foods that he wants to eat, which would not be problematic, but when I eat ALL of the leftovers in the refrigerator, I hate to field the "Did you really eat all of that?" questions.
* Advantage - I love to be and feel fit. There are social advantages to it as well, like the ability to play basketball with my children.
* Advantage - I feel really light when I run, much more so than when I started running at 240. I can do push-ups and bench 85 pounds and do 100-pound lat pulldowns and run for 90 seconds at 6.5 mph.
* Advantage - I can wear a lot more clothes, and I enjoy the act of getting dressed. 220 feels a whole lot better on the way down than the way up.
* Advantage - Planning for the gym often helps me schedule my day. "I can go at 2:00 if I have this task completed" kind of thing.
* Disadvantage - I get really hungry and fidgety at times. I can also get OCD about every single calorie I put into my mouth, up to and including the 5 calories from a sugarless piece of gum.
* Disadvantage - I hate not being able to eat whatever I want.
* Advantage - I can't eat whatever I want and feel physically okay, and being on plan protects me from myself. Yesterday, I wanted to eat everything that I had restricted myself from eating, because I knew that I would want to be on plan again today. After I ate, I would actively monitor my physical feeling of fullness to gauge when I could eat again without feeling so horrible physically that I couldn't enjoy the food at all.
* Disadvantage - I can get so obsessed with it that I want to work out two or three times a day, and consume weight loss-related media 24/7. This cuts into my productivity for real life.
* Advantage - Clothes shopping is way easier, and I feel much more comfortable posing for pictures, etc.
* Advantage - Even though I am spending more money on certain kinds of food than when I am not on plan, my food expenses are less. I will allow myself to buy raspberries, but I am far less inclined to buy packages of cookies, etc.
* Advantage - I can stand at my desk and put my hands on my side and feel muscle. Granted, still lots of subcutaneous fat, but I don't have to intentionally poke my way through it to feel the muscle. It's just there.
This time, I'm going to be stronger, I'm not giving in. Hmmm... Really loving the quotes you ladies are sharing. Thanks for this one, Diane.
Getting back to work now. So much craziness in my head. Hopefully, I will be able to successfully negotiate it through therapy.
Toasted - I've said it before. I'll say it again. I really love your posts. And yes! Traveling twice for a two-part wedding - awesome! Thanks for the understanding. I feel so crazy when I post things on here sometimes, but I really think it's good for me to just admit the craziness. Trying to pretend it doesn't exist never really did me much good.
Diane - So glad that you're feeling better and embracing the routineness of your plan. I genuinely love that, while everyone on this board seems to have struggles, we seldom have them at the same time. Hope is a really crucial part of this journey, and I often look to you for that hope.
Back to work. And then, maybe, to the gym this afternoon.
I am trying to look at it as at least it is a loss but it is hard. I know I sound whinny and I should be thankful it is just a really hard pill to swallow!
I weighed in at 242.6, -2.8 this week. So excited to see those numbers, its been about 4 years so into new territory for me. I am totally convinced I will get to my main goal this time, my mindset is different but I also think you guys are one of the main reasons I've stayed on track. Not only for your advice and encouragement but your shared stories and honesty - so a big Thank you and 
