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secret eating?

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Old 07-28-2003, 02:39 PM   #1
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Hi,

I'm just curious, do you do most of your eating of cheat foods alone or when you're with others? I know that not any food is "bad" or "good" but you know what I mean.

I've always been a cheat when I'm alone person. The problem started in 1991 when my husband and I bought a condo and moved to a town where I didn't know a soul. He was working three to eleven pm. I'd come home from work to an empty house, except for our cats. I'd bake brownies or cookies, and eat them while watching tv (really productive, huh?) Or I'd go out to eat by myself. Other nighttime comfort eating besides sweets would be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. If I cheat now, I still mainly do it alone, in my car, or at night after Matthew goes to bed. My husband still works nights, but he doesn't leave until 8:30 pm, so we have dinner together. That has helped.

Okay, now that I've confessed, anyone else want to speak up?

Sherry
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Old 07-28-2003, 02:47 PM   #2
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Actually, I'm more likely to "cheat" when I'm with Hunter. This is still rather a new change to us, and we still have a lot of snacky trigger foods in the house.

Fortunately, his comfort foods and mine are different. He's more likely to go for soda and ice cream, and I'm more likely to go for crackers, popcorn, and cheese.

I'm also more likely to "cheat" when eating out, which is usually when I'm with Hunter. The other day for lunch we got fish and chips, and shared a slice of cheesecake for dessert. I used my new Superpowers of PortionEstimation to eat only a deck of cards' worth of fish and only a fist-size portion of fries (with malt vinegar and salt -- YUM). And I tried to eat the cheesecake mindfully -- enjoying each bite for its own creamy, rich pleasure. That helps me eat only a bit of a 'craving' food and be satisfied.

It's when I don't pay attention that I can eat a WHOLE lot. If I have an open bag of Cheezits in front of me, it'll "evaporate" before I know it. So I've really started putting a handful or two into one of Gem's little plastic bowls. That way I have some of what I want, but not so much that I get down on myself about it.

Eating from stress or boredom, though, is the biggest trigger for me.
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Old 07-28-2003, 08:04 PM   #3
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I believe in full frontal cheating. Luckily, I don't do it very often, but when I do, it's always in full view of my family. I also generally "plan" my cheating so maybe it's not really cheating. The only non-planned cheating I do is when I'm sick and do comfort eating. I don't do that in secret, either, though.

I have to confess that I have an addiction to All My Children. I watched it today and a woman pushed a four tiered wedding cake on the floor. All I could think about was, what a waste of what looked like really good cake! I almost obsessed about it the whole show. Couldn't get into the why she pushed over the cake, just that the cake was on the floor, and if I had been there, I would have at least stuck a finger in the frosting. You know how Jimmy Carter lusted after women in his heart? Well, I was lusting after that cake in my heart!
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Old 07-28-2003, 09:53 PM   #4
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I'm not cheating now, because I'm desparate to make my adoption goal tomorrow or soon after.

But, in my normal life, I've been known cheat or overeat anywhere anytime I think I can get away with it. I'm overly concerned about what others think about me, so if I'm at a party and I think I've eaten in front of one group a little too much, I might go over to another group of people and overeat again there. In college, I might go into the cafeteria for a second dinner after the first group of friends I was with left and pretend I'd not been there earlier.

So, I'm sneaky, just not doing it alone.
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Old 07-28-2003, 10:56 PM   #5
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I was overly self-conscious about my eating and would prefer to eat alone if at all possible. Like Angi, I had all kinds of strategies to make it appear as if my eating was normal. It sounds kind of funny now to think about the things I used to do.

My favorite cheap fast food was taco bell (don't laugh). I would routinely go there and get take out and order 2 soft tacos with beans instead of ground meat, 2 with ground meat, and 2 bean burritos. It would then appear as if the pile of food was going to be split between me and a vegetarian! I would go back to my apartment and binge out on nasty greasy food (loving every minute of it).

I would often meet up with a group of friends for brunch on Sunday. However, they didn't know that before I showed up (we would get together about 11am) I would hit dunkin donuts and get a bagel sandwich first. I would most often plan a pre-meal meal so that i wouldn't be tempted to chow down like there was no tomorrow while out in public.

I'm still very self conscious of eating in front of people. I can't help but think everyone is looking at the fat man pigging out.
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Old 07-28-2003, 11:10 PM   #6
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I have to laugh Matt. Not at you but at myself. I do the same kind of thing. Even if I'm not pigging out. If I go to subway to get my wife and me a sub. I will order hers without onion or jalapeno peppers just to make them different so they don't think they are both for me. My trick is to go to several different fast food places instead of one. I would hit taco bell for a couple burritos then burger king and to top it off Wendy's or McDonalds. That way I appear normal. Yep I sure fooled them. They would never guess that me a 400 lb man like to eat. LOL.

I don't know if you all have rally’s in your area. They used to have a commercial with a guy at the drive through talking back and forth with his friend about getting two big Buford’s. Then at the end it was just him eating both of them. That cracked me up.


I would also do things like volunteer to get my wife something sweet at the store. That way I could go out on a late night fast food run and no one was the wiser.
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Old 07-28-2003, 11:11 PM   #7
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Quote:
You know how Jimmy Carter lusted after women in his heart? Well, I was lusting after that cake in my heart!
Ohhhhhh, I know the feeling.

Quote:
I'm still very self conscious of eating in front of people. I can't help but think everyone is looking at the fat man pigging out.
No kidding, me too. I ate less than half my seafood quesadilla in front of DB Saturday night. It's not like he can't see that I could obviously put away the whole plate.

I don't usually cheat in private. I can't. If I'm going to cheat, it's going to be Cheetos, and they are going to be from the vending machine @ work. Sometimes I will stay in the kitchen & eat them, but that look even more pathetic if someone comes in to get a snack themself & sees the fat girl inhaling the bag of Cheetos & looking out the corner of her eye @ the peanut butter cookies.

However, every once in awhile I have something like mini-quiches or ice cream, and I live alone, so what is that? *sigh* So I guess the answer is yes & no.
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Old 07-29-2003, 02:06 AM   #8
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I do my cheating when I am alone. It is like a relaxing thing to get something I am craving, and eat it in peace, alone. That is when I get into trouble. I am trying not to bring stuff home as much anymore. Sometimes there will be stuff at work, and I might have some. I don't have trouble going overboard there ~ because I am ~ like Angi worried about that others are watching me and what they are thinking of me.

I bring healthy things to work in my lunch, and say no thank you a lot when there are treats to be had. (If I had some of the treats every time stuff was available, I would be even bigger than I am now,)

It is kind of embarrassing then, when I am eating my lunch, and comments are made, that are sort of like ~ we always see you eating healthy stuff ~ so why are you so big. Also, I am always saying no thank you to stuff, but my coworkers are probably wondering/knowing why I am always on a diet, but never seem to get any smaller. It is because of what I do when no one is looking.

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Old 07-29-2003, 11:19 AM   #9
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I think I do both. I usually try to hide it - from past childhood experiences I'm sure. But then again I can also cheat with a lot in front of my hubby because I know he won't say anything (which makes me crazy.) He usually mentions something in passing later or will say "yeah I did notice you were eating a lot" but never stops me mid-binge or bad food. *sigh* hopefully someday.
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Old 07-29-2003, 02:05 PM   #10
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david WOULD say something, so i sneak it when he's not looking. i feel horribly guilty, too. i'm better now than i was, but it still happens.

"hi, my name is holly, and i'm a secret eater."
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Old 07-29-2003, 02:23 PM   #11
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I'm absolutely a sneaker. Every time I spend the weekend at my parents' home, I'm in the kitchen chowing down after they go to bed--ahh childhood revisited. At my home, I usually don't eat anything after dinner. I'm reading a great book right now that touches on this very subject, and some others too, that you all might enjoy. It's called Fit from Within by Victoria Morgan. I'm actually carrying it around with me now and I read bits of it when I need inspiration...
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Old 07-29-2003, 04:14 PM   #12
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oh yes - sneaking around the parents happens ALWAYS - like Sunday I snuck a third pizza bagel and wolfed it down in the kitchen peering out the window anxiously...

Didn't even enjoy it. so what was the point then?
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:04 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by gonzostar
"hi, my name is holly, and i'm a secret eater."
Group, in unison: Hi, Holly!

Yeah, I think realizing that you're not enjoying it is the first step to quitting altogether, if there even is such a thing. Old habits die hard.
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Old 07-30-2003, 11:09 AM   #14
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Totally a secret eater!! In fact my favorite time of the day has always been in the evening when I'm alone and can just totally binge without anyone seeing me. And trust me, I can binge like no other!!! Any kind of carb, sweet, or cheese was not safe when I was on a binge.
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Old 07-30-2003, 01:44 PM   #15
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Hello my name is Chris and I do secretly eat. And as Beth indicated I usually don't enjoy it. Lately I have been starting my secret binge and then throwing stuff out the window. My worst place for this is my car, and I know I should throw it away, but if I am driving and its still there I will eat it no matter how much I don't want it. Some self control huh!
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