Just curious, do you follow a specific "diet"? I am basically trying to eliminate processed foods - and I'm trying to follow the "No White Foods Diet" - no white sugar, white flour, white rice, potatoes... all things that trigger cravings for me.
Diane I almost had that same conversation with my hubby but decided to wait because we only had one day this weekend together. I don't know if I agree that every guy has a threshold. And I definitely don't think your husband was saying that. I have to say at my heaviest I know I was more negative. As I try and lose weight I feel more positive maybe that what he is trying to say that he see's you more happy?
I sincerely hope that this is my last "I'm back" post!
I recognize many of the names in this group - Laurie Dawn, Ubergirl, Sandy and others. I joined this community years ago or so and it's been very helpful. At some point in the past few months I hit a new high weight. About 15 years ago I lost over 100 pounds, put it all back on over the past few years and now this summer I have a new urgency to get this done. It might not be fast or pretty, but it must be done. I'm 43 and I know the odds are stacked against me. But, I don't care. I have dug my heels in now. One bad choice simple means that. It doesn't mean a day full of bad choices. Or waiting until next Monday to have a good start. In my 30's being obese wasn't that hard, I was still pretty active and healthy, hiking, doing whatever I wanted... I hit 40 and boy, that changed. My back hurts, my feet hurt, I have low energy, I have gotten "soft". My husband is quite healthy, goes to the gym everyday and is totally supportive of me - he's seen me at 160 and at over 300 and has never once hurt my feelings about it. But he knows it is a burden, and that I am weak around certain foods, so it is really nice that he isn't bringing crap into the house. I have two girls, ages 9 & 10. Which brings me to a serious point. We are taking them to Disney World in November and there is no way at this point that I can walk around for 4 days straight. I'd love to be below 250 by then.
Looking forward to being a contributing member here again!
-Nora
Hi Nora,
I can sympathize with a lot of the things you talked about. A couple of years ago a trip to Disney would give me such aches and pains in my feet after one day of walking around the park. So much so that I wouldn't be able to walk the next day without the aid of advil. Like you, I have a 9 year old (my oldest) and two younger kids. They are the reasons I started to lose weight two years ago. I wanted to be around for them as long as possible, and I knew that was not going to happen if I was over 400 pounds.
I did very well, losing 155 pounds in less than a year. But unfortunately, before I got to my goal I got sidetracked for various reasons and I stayed at 250 for months. Then, I had some family issues that caused some stress eating and I allowed 40 pounds to go back on.
About a week ago or so, around my two year anniversary of the beginning of my weight loss, I recommitted myself to lose weight again. I have already lost 10 of those pounds (mostly water I'm sure) and I am going to lose the rest of the weight I put back on, and then the final 30 pounds to get to my interim goal. I have no time table for this because I know it will be slower going this time around and this is a rest-of-my life endeavor. I am just hoping the result will be that the rest of my life will be extended due to my efforts.
I noticed that you asked someone else what they were doing to lose weight. If there is one thing I have learned from all of my diet and weight loss experiences is that many different forms of weight loss work. Some plans that work great for some, don't work so great for others, and vice versa. But in my humble opinion, the most important aspect of choosing a weight loss plan is to find something you can stick with long term. My past weight loss is filled with experiences of starting diets and not finishing them. For me, it was critical to find a plan that I could stick with long term. The other major factor - which I could not control - was being ready to commit to my weight loss plan. In the past I failed because I would SAY that I wanted to lose weight, but then I got derailed very easily. This last time, for whatever reason, it took. I was able to lost most of the weight I needed to lose and was maintaining. If it was not the unexpected family issues I was experiencing, I probably would still be on track. But nevertheless, I'm back in it for the long haul now.
Martini, I am officially jealous. I'd love to be able to do some globe trotting. Maybe I will one day, but right now I'm just going to live vicariously through you. Additionally, I can fully appreciate that experience of constantly making excuses for someone and trying to justify their actions. I'm still proud of myself for the day I decided to stop making excuses for my ex.
Oh, I completely agree with you on that, Laurie. The biggest problem isn't so much that people are attracted to different things is that so many people in today's society are so weak minded that they let their opinions be over-ridden by what society tells they should think and feel. And that is so obvious when it comes to appearance. The truth is, we do all have certain types of people that we are attracted to initially. For some of use, physical attractiveness tends to be dominate over the attractiveness of ones personality.
BUT a relationship is built on more than just attraction. As you said, when you are going through a rough spot with someone you're in a relationship or just on your own with depression, you can find yourself shocked to suddenly find them very unattractive. Sometimes, that change goes beyond the superficial. The big thing is that I, personally, can't judge the boyfriend's motives without being able to sit down, observe him, and talk to him. But, someone should think about taking him aside and commenting on his statements. He may not realize how he's coming across or he may just be a jerk. But if he's seriously not interested in the road they're going down, if he's not interested him her soul more than he is her body, he needs to step up and be honest with her about that so that she can cut her losses.
It breaks my heart that you're so right about people picking out people that make them look good to friends or make them feel better about themselves. And it hurts all the more given that I know how often women have done this to Missouri. I have never come across a more generous, genuine, and caring person in my life. It can take him a long time to put his heart on the line but he'll wine, dine, and give someone the shirt off of his back. And yet he is that tall, awkward type (which I love). He was large as a kid, thin in the Army, and then, after a car accident did some serious damage to his back, he put some weight back on. It caused a drastic change in the way a girl he'd be courting for two years treated him. She went and got a boyfriend and didn't mention the guy until Missouri flew back to Germany to visit her last Christmas. WHO DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT? Anyway. I guess the point is that the world is made up of superficial jerk-faces who won't realize the incredible person they had in their life until it is much too late. Also, that women can be has guilty of being an a**es as men.
I'm riding in the same boat as you right now. I know that the next 20 lbs or so are likely to be tough ones. I'm approaching the spot I stalled at in 2011 and my set point of 205 lbs. We'll get through them together.
Major personal breakthrough, Diane! It may not seem like much, but realizing that just as much, if not more, of the problem was how you viewed yourself vs how he viewed you is huge. Knowing that at some level you cross from feeling okay about yourself to feeling unworthy is important to better understanding yourself and the way your mind works. I am a huge advocate of getting to better know ourselves and understand ourselves.
Lol, Jen! It's one of the reasons I love popping in here. I love that active support net. Sometimes, we all need to take a break from the scales. If you haven't started taping yet, I'd highly recommend it. As I approach my previous lows (220ish in 2011 and 205 in 2007), I know that my scale progress is likely to slow but as long as my tape is still moving, even if it's only 0.5" each week, I'll suck it up and keep pushing.
Nora, welcome to the group and we're glad to have you. We're all in similar boats, having lost weight only to put it back on, so you can't find a more sympathetic bunch of gals than we. As for diets, hm. I don't really have a specific diet I follow. I'm one of those people who would rather fight cravings that eliminate certain foods that I love (bread, potatoes, pasta, sweets). I practice ritual calorie counting to ensure that I eat at least 1000 calories a day - this has been a big problem for me in the past, not eating enough - and I try to follow the golden rule of calories: 40-50% Carbs, 25-35% protein, 20-30% fat. Under 2500 mg of sodium and over 25 grams of fiber. A lot of days, I end up at about 25% protein, 30% fat, and not enough fiber, but it is a work in progress. I also drink at least half of my weight in ounces of water daily and I do a lot of walking. I have a dog who gets very sad if she doesn't get her 2 mile walk every day. For the sake of full disclosure, I do take some supplements (by Plexus), but I take them to correct hormonal imbalances in my body. They have addressed my hypothyroidism, depression, insomnia, anxiety, and fatigue better than any prescription meds I was ever put on and they have the added benefit of being all natural.
Joe, you give excellent advice and insight. Nothing bothers me more than people who try to tell me I'm not doing it right when it comes to my weight loss. I am always willing to tell people what has worked for me but I always remind them that their mileage may vary. The biggest key to success with losing weight, and keeping it off, is determining what works for you, reaching a better understanding about yourself - your triggers, root causes of your problems, etc. - and resolve and desire to get it done.
Diane I almost had that same conversation with my hubby but decided to wait because we only had one day this weekend together. I don't know if I agree that every guy has a threshold. And I definitely don't think your husband was saying that. I have to say at my heaviest I know I was more negative. As I try and lose weight I feel more positive maybe that what he is trying to say that he see's you more happy?
Jen, yes he definitely was positive about it. He actually said that the weight amount wasn't the issue as much as how I was feeling about myself and how I viewed all of our activities in life. He wants me to be able to feel good about what we do as a family, as a couple and by myself. I just found it interesting that I am the one who didn't like what I saw, so I just KNEW that he couldn't like it either. It was hard to start the conversation, but I'm glad I did. Looks like we might be together another 27 years! Lucky guy! Ha!
Okay you guys. I'm home. Finally. Getting too old for sitting in a car for 8+ hours in a day.
Anyway, what you all have been waiting for... the vote was 101-3 in favor of calling my husband to be pastor of the congregation. So we'll be moving up there right after Labor day.
I have been so excited and wanting to share, but I figured it would be best to make sure all the family knew first, and then we were traveling and all that jazz.
So now I'm going to unwind a bit with my dinner of Greek yogurt and whatever fruit or veggie I can find that's not bad in the house right now LOL. I'm so tired and don't feel like cooking. It's been one helluva weekend!
Celebratory dinner with a friend or two tomorrow night. Then back to 100% being good.
I swear I will catch up with all the new posts tomorrow.
Welcome to the new folks and thanks to everyone for your support and good vibes!
Mandy - I am so excited for you! Congratulations! It's so amazing when things work out that you have worked so long to achieve.
Welcome Nori and Joe! Great to have additions. And Nori, I think everyone's plan here is different. Before last Thursday, I was doing a form of intermittent fasting where I didn't restrict what I could eat, but tried to base things on lean protein. As of last Thursday, I decided to go 90% vegan. Now, ironically, I eat lots of white potatoes. =)
222.4. A little disappointing, since my calories were in check and (TMI) I seemed to expel an inordinate amount of waste. But I did consume excessive sodium and got little sleep and lifted weights last night. And, I am just post-whoosh. So, I won't worry about it at all.
Hi all! Almost didn't go to Body Pump this morning. I was just not into it at all and feeling like just laying on the couch was a better option. Then, I got to thinking about how I would feel about it the rest of the day. Not good. And then, I remembered the conversation I had with my son last night. He is a freshman in college and he's on the football team. He has not wanted to go to workouts all summer long, but he's made amazing progress in his running and lifting. Yesterday, he had called me and there were some reasons/excuses as to why he didn't want to go to workouts. He asked me what I thought. I told him, "What do you think I would tell you?" He said, "Yeah... I know. I'll go." Well, he had a running test and he improved his time so much that he passed the level that they require for his position. He was thrilled. So, I told him, "Aren't you glad that I give you such a hard time about going?" So, this morning, I knew that if I didn't go, then what message am I sending? And, more importantly, what amount of abuse/ridicule would I have to take from him tonight? So I went, and I'm glad I did.
Mandy: Such good news!!!! Very happy for you and wish you the best in your move. It sounds like he has a ton of support already, so that's a great situation to move into.
LaurieDawn: Sorry about the scale disappointment, but good for you for not letting it get to you! GREAT attitude!
Garnet: You are really great at giving support to everyone here. Thanks so much!
Joe: Good thoughts from you. Thanks for your insight!
Nora: I agree with LaurieDawn. It seems like we all have a little bit different way of doing the "diet" part. It is tough sometimes to figure out what is best for you. For what it is worth, I am counting calories. I don't want to specifically exclude any particular food group and I don't want to have to cook different meals for me while my family eats other stuff. So, for my ease, I use myfitnesspal to record/track calories of what I eat and also my exercise calories I burn. That doesn't work for everyone though! My advice is to find something that is sustainable for you. Make it a lifestyle change so that you don't feel totally restricted. And, be open to tweaking it down the line if it isn't working for you.
Diane that is awesome you did that....I did that yesterday starting the C25k but I did it too...we persevered!
Still not weighing today. I think I may weigh Wednesday and Saturday is my weigh in so twice a week....then try and just do it once...I do not want to become addicted when my main goal is health!
I did the c25k and even though I felt like I was gonna die I finished
Mandy:c arrot: Such wonderful news! And aren't you happy to be bringing a new healthier you to your new home! This is terrific!
Joe Welcome! Your story reminded me a bit of my own. I lost 110 lbs, and kept it off for a while, but never got to what I thought should be my "official" goal (normal BMI) Maintained for quite a while, but hit a very stressful patch in my life and gained back about 2/3 of the weight in a big hurry. Since then, (early 2012) I've managed to gain and lose the same 15 lbs or so about 4 x. The plus is that I never got back to my high weight. The minus is that I never managed to stick with like I did the first time. I'm now into my 3rd month and down 28 lbs, and this time, I'm getting it done!
Nora Welcome back! I'm ten years older than you, and I want you to know that 43 is not at all late in the game to get it off. I lost 110 pounds at 48-49 and I don't think it was any harder for me than for younger people-- I ate less food, but I also needed less food. In my 20s and 30s I was starving on 1800 calls and now i do just fine on 1200-1300. The first time I lost the weight my plan was very limited to no "white carbs" limited fruits, no sweets, and a preponderance of lean protein and veggies. However, due to my history of binge eating, and due to the fact that my regain was entirely due to bingeing (not to slow creep) I'm trying to be more flexible this time-- I'm including pasta meals a couple times a week, and experimenting with including portion-controlled treats. I'm hoping that maybe this will prevent the pent up desire to binge that I didn't even know I had.
Laurie Woot! You are getting tiny! 224 is rocking it-- and with your fitness level I bet you look great.
Diane I started to post yesterday-- I really enjoyed hearing about your chat with DH and I think what you said was incredibly wise. I think all of us have a personal threshold beyond which we just don't feel like ourselves anymore. When I'm heavier than that point, I start feeling bad about myself and I don't take as good care of myself-- not my hair, not my clothes, make-up, exercise, the whole thing... I gained HUGE amounts of confidence when I lost all the weight, and interestingly, when I regained, I didn't really realize how big I had gotten, and so I kept the confidence. When I looked at pictures of myself after the regain, I still looked happy, pretty, and well-groomed. At the same weight prior to the loss, I looked frumpy and miserable. Self-perception is probably the most important key to our attractiveness.
Jen Definitely do the scale break! The beginning is always so hard, but before you know it you'll be racking up the losses.
Martini When you finally get home and step on a scale I think you are going to be amazed!
As for me, weight-wise, I'm a bit stalled right now. This is my first "no-loss" week since I started. I went over my food logs, and the only calorie difference I could see was that DH was cooking several times and maybe he was a little more liberal with the olive oil than I realized.
Leaving for vacation tomorrow-- I'm planning to keep checking in as usual, and I'm taking the scale with me (it's a travel scale.) I'm really looking forward to adding a lot of walking to my routine. I am DETERMINED not to get off track. I'll be gone for two weeks, and I want to post a LOSS, which means I am going to stay very focused in spite of the temptations to eat more.
The kids go back to school on August 26. I'm setting a mini-goal to lose 3 more pounds and weigh 255 on the first day of school. That would be a 30 lb loss so far!
