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How do you know that THIS IS IT - the final time?

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Old 06-14-2014, 09:58 AM   #1
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Default How do you know that THIS IS IT - the final time?

I've had major eating issues since childhood. I've lost - and regained - the same 100 pounds three times in my life. Last January 2013, I decided that enough was enough. I was starting to have more ramifications from my weight (heartburn, plantar fasciitis, etc.), and I was just miserable. So...

1) I went to therapy to deal with the reasons why I kept overeating.
2) I started working out regularly and increased the difficulty of my workouts as I lost.
3) I very slowly (this is still a work in progress) improved my nutrition by going from all sugar/carbs to vegetables, fruits, and very little sugar/carbs.
4) As I went down in size, I got rid of every single item of clothing that was too big.

I'm down almost 75 pounds now, with 25 - 35 to go. I *feel* like THIS IS IT and that I'm going to keep going, hit goal, and maintain successfully forever. I try not to think about the statistics of regain, and my own past history. I feel like I've done everything I can to set myself up for success. I try to ignore my fear about regain and just focus on the positive. I still have a tiny bit of doubt, though.

Just wondering...how do you know that THIS IS IT for you, the final time you're losing weight? A certain incentive or feeling? Health reasons that won't let you slide back? Etc., etc. Those of you who've lost and maintained, how did you know?
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Old 06-14-2014, 10:10 AM   #2
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I dont know if it is it, but this make me realise that I must stay focus.

I had lost a lot of weight and regained half of it, I had this feeling that it was it and I relaxed a little at first and then I said a little more, then it is only 1 pound, then 2, then 30.

So is it now having lost back 20 with 10 more to go, I hope, but what I jnderstood is that in order to maintain I will have to keep doing what I am doing now and not fool myself in thinking that it is only 1 pound.

The biggest incentive is the energy I have now compared to 2 months ago and also looking in the mirror and seejng a younger version of myself.
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Old 06-14-2014, 10:18 AM   #3
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It sounds like you are DOIN' IT! Way to go. I haven't lost/maintained yet, but it really sounds like you are setting yourself up for success. I think that for me when all my weight finally comes off, I'm going to be able to keep it off because I'll have a routine. I plan on sticking to that routine even once I hit maintinence and that will keep me going. Good luck to you in the final stretch!!
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Old 06-14-2014, 11:13 AM   #4
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Hello! Good luck to you! I still in the progress of losing weight, but i think when time comes you will know when to stop! It is something your organism will show you
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Old 06-14-2014, 12:05 PM   #5
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I struggled with my weight my whole life but I never managed to lose weight; I would quit my diets after a few days because I just didn't have the will power or the focus to continue. I honestly have no idea what changed in me this time, where all this self control and outlook on making this a lifestyle (so it can be sustainable... otherwise if I think of it as a diet I'll bounce back when I meet my goal and stop "dieting") are coming from. This is a new "me" I have never seen before, and I like it. It took 33 darn years. LOL
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Old 06-14-2014, 01:22 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frances123 View Post
I've had major eating issues since childhood. I've lost - and regained - the same 100 pounds three times in my life. Last January 2013, I decided that enough was enough. I was starting to have more ramifications from my weight (heartburn, plantar fasciitis, etc.), and I was just miserable. So...

1) I went to therapy to deal with the reasons why I kept overeating.
2) I started working out regularly and increased the difficulty of my workouts as I lost.
3) I very slowly (this is still a work in progress) improved my nutrition by going from all sugar/carbs to vegetables, fruits, and very little sugar/carbs.
4) As I went down in size, I got rid of every single item of clothing that was too big.

I'm down almost 75 pounds now, with 25 - 35 to go. I *feel* like THIS IS IT and that I'm going to keep going, hit goal, and maintain successfully forever. I try not to think about the statistics of regain, and my own past history. I feel like I've done everything I can to set myself up for success. I try to ignore my fear about regain and just focus on the positive. I still have a tiny bit of doubt, though.

Just wondering...how do you know that THIS IS IT for you, the final time you're losing weight? A certain incentive or feeling? Health reasons that won't let you slide back? Etc., etc. Those of you who've lost and maintained, how did you know?
I'm so glad you posted this today as I woke up feeling worried and asking myself the EXACT same question.

In 2009, I had a big click because I had a super huge motivator in my life, and also because I found 3FC where the support really helped. I lost 110 lbs.

So, now, I'm plagued with doubt. How do I know it will work this time? (I'm three weeks in so far.) Is is worth it?

I know that last time, it never occurred to me that I would gain back the weight until I actually did. I was so much happier in my new lifestyle. I had dropped from a 24-16 to a 12-14 and I was also really fit-- running 4 miles on the treadmill 4 or 5 days a week. It was great! I loved it. And it didn't seem that hard. I really felt as if I had gotten the hang of it. It was the most important thing in my life.

So why the regain?

The short answer is that my maintenance happened to coincide with one of the most stressful periods in my life for a variety of reasons. Also, I moved two months into maintenance, meaning that I lost every single support that had gotten me through the 110 lb loss.

But, I am still asking myself the same question: do I need to do something fundamentally different this time? If so, what is it.

Did you find therapy helpful?

I've also been considering putting myself into a medically supervised weight loss program.

For me, I think the single most crucial factor is support. When I started to struggle I was living in a new city where I no longer had my IRL support group, and I found that when I was really struggling, my online support at 3FC just wasn't enough.
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SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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Old 06-14-2014, 03:07 PM   #7
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I think this is it for me because if I don't do this now, if I don't lose another 70-80 pounds (at the very least).. My husband and I will start losing our chance to have kids. I'll be 31 in a few months. We don't have any children yet. I know getting pregnant at 300 pounds is possible, but I know it's very unhealthy and difficult. If I don't make this happen, I disappoint *so* many people, including myself. Failure just isn't really an option this time.
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Old 06-14-2014, 04:47 PM   #8
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There are no guarantees. It's only the "last time" if I refuse to follow the habits and rationalizations I used in the past.

I'm losing slower than I ever have in the past (partially due to aging metabolism, but mostly due to lack of motivation).

But even with lack of motivation (and the resulting frequent bad choices), I haven't had the uncontrolled backsliding that always led me to regain all the weight (plus some) before "starting over."

I don't fear regain anymore - not because it couldn't happen again, but because I know I can control WHETHER it happens again.

1. Refusing to catastrophize stalls and gains. Choosing to make peace with the scale, regardless of the data received from it. Celebrating losses and nongains equally and refusing to let gains discourage, because all gains are temporary unless I give up all my successful strategies. I tell myself, " there is no starting over, just backsliding, wallowing and moving on - so which are you going to choose, Colleen?"

2. Following an effective food and activity plan as best I can (moderately low carb, portion controlled seems to work best). If I have and follow no plan, or a terrible one, I will gain. I can stall (or to put a more positive spin on it, MAINTAIN) on an a faulty or imperfectly followed plan, and I will lose successfuly on a better or more closely followed plan.

3. Avoiding crash and starvation dieting, which tends to (for me, anyway) trigger almost bulimic, behavior. I can avoid the binge/starve cycle if I don't try to cut calories too far (and I can recognize "too far" by the reemergence of bingeing)

If I abandon my strategies and attitudes, I WILL gain. Only that knowledge and continuing to act on that knowledge will make this "the last time."
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Old 06-14-2014, 04:51 PM   #9
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I think this is it for me because I have finally accepted that I have to do this for the rest of my life. Just like it took accepting that I could never smoke another cigarette if I wanted to stay smoke free.

I used to think that there were exceptions for stress, illness, death in the family, celebrations, etc. There are not. If I decide to use an excuse to return to old habits, that excuse will not protect me from weight gain any more than telling myself that it was JUST ONE cigarette kept me from going back to my 2 pack a day habit EVERY SINGLE TIME .

I've been smoke free for 10 years now, and I truly don't miss it at all. Not even when my life is stressful. Which as a single mom is pretty much all of the time. I know I'll come to a point where I don't miss abusing food when I'm stressed out too.
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Old 06-14-2014, 06:16 PM   #10
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Well, if you would have asked me in 2012 if this was IT, I would have emphatically said, "Yes!" However, the entire year of 2013 was a struggle. First it was just gain and lose 15-20 of the 110 pounds lost, but eventually I just totally lost all motivation and just worked on trying to get through the next day. I hadn't given up, but I lost all control. The whole idea of food doesn't feel as good has as being fit, thin and healthy left me. Food tasted glorious. And I was so depressed...

So, I just detailed this in my blog yesterday. I can know what is good for me right here and now. I know how to eat, how to move, how to keep my head about me, but it takes a lot of control and concentration. I can't know if this is what I will need for the future. I just hope that I have set up more ways to help me so that when things get difficult, I can stop the damage before gaining a ton back.
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Old 06-14-2014, 07:23 PM   #11
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I hadn't given up, but I lost all control. The whole idea of food doesn't feel as good has as being fit, thin and healthy left me. Food tasted glorious. And I was so depressed...
This is exactly what happened to me.

What is more puzzling than anything is that the state of mind that allows us to click and and lose well seems to arrive unexpectedly, like a gift.

But in my experiences, that state of mind can also flee unexpectedly, leaving you unable to summon the exact same thoughts and feelings that used to work.

I do not believe that regain is inevitable. A number of my "losing sisters" from back in 2009 and 2010 kept the weight off.

I think the trick is, as Melissa said, to realize that what is going on in our lives and our mental states can change DRAMATICALLY and when that happens, sometimes the interest in weight loss and maintenance can recede.

It's as if you have a four bedroom house in your mind, and one of those bedrooms belongs to weight loss and maintenance. It's not the ONLY thing on your mind, but it's one of the major things. Another bedroom is taken up by work, and one by family, and maybe one by money, and it's a full house.

So, what happens when an unexpected visitor shows up and demands a room in your house? (in my case, it was twins-- one was a child's serious illness and the other was a parent's serious illness) That visitor moves into one of the bedrooms, and guess what happens to weight loss and maintenance? Maybe it gets an air mattress on the back porch, or maybe it just gets exiled for a while.

I know that might seem like a weird analogy, but I feel like that's how it works for me, and maybe for others.

My point being that there may not actually be a "this is it" for anyone, but if we have super good strategies in place for dealing with that moment when suddenly managing our weight seems unimportant THEN maybe we'll be in a good position to maintain for the long haul.
__________________


End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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Old 06-14-2014, 07:55 PM   #12
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I am like Streudel...I have decided that just like smoking chronic overeating is no longer part of my life.I also quit smoking many years ago and do not miss it.
I have decided to follow the 3 s diet...no seconds,no sugars,no snacks and have maintained a personal low of 136 lb.I have not been 136 for over 40 years and am not any hungrier than I was when I was constantly eating.
Now when I have hunger pangs I look at the clock and if it is at 11am I tell myself to wait till 12 and I will eat lunch.I may occasionally have a protein drink at 3pm to hold me off till 5 or 6pm for dinner.
I have sometimes even stopped eating in the middle of a meal because I have had enough(and save it for the next meal).
I have never been like this before.
My daily calorie count is between 1400 and 1800 per day.
I can now save things for the next day without feeling that I have to devour it now before it disappears.
I dont know how to express it but things are different and I feel I have more control over food.
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Old 06-14-2014, 08:03 PM   #13
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Ever since I joined 3fc in March 2012, I have thought repeatedly that THIS IS IT (FINALLY). My lifestyle has consistently improved over the last 2 years - I haven't lost much weight, but I have very slowly been making better choices about food and exercise (not always consistently and regularly, depending on the season - but I think that there is general improvement and more self awareness).

In the last few weeks, I have felt very recommitted to losing weight and getting healthier and have had a strong feeling of THIS IS REALLY IT FOR REAL NO JOKING. I can't say for certain that this is really it forever but it's IT for now, so I'm gladly embracing the motivation and dedication while I have it.
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Old 06-14-2014, 09:04 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ubergirl View Post
This is exactly what happened to me.

What is more puzzling than anything is that the state of mind that allows us to click and and lose well seems to arrive unexpectedly, like a gift.

But in my experiences, that state of mind can also flee unexpectedly, leaving you unable to summon the exact same thoughts and feelings that used to work.

I do not believe that regain is inevitable. A number of my "losing sisters" from back in 2009 and 2010 kept the weight off.

I think the trick is, as Melissa said, to realize that what is going on in our lives and our mental states can change DRAMATICALLY and when that happens, sometimes the interest in weight loss and maintenance can recede.

It's as if you have a four bedroom house in your mind, and one of those bedrooms belongs to weight loss and maintenance. It's not the ONLY thing on your mind, but it's one of the major things. Another bedroom is taken up by work, and one by family, and maybe one by money, and it's a full house.

So, what happens when an unexpected visitor shows up and demands a room in your house? (in my case, it was twins-- one was a child's serious illness and the other was a parent's serious illness) That visitor moves into one of the bedrooms, and guess what happens to weight loss and maintenance? Maybe it gets an air mattress on the back porch, or maybe it just gets exiled for a while.

I know that might seem like a weird analogy, but I feel like that's how it works for me, and maybe for others.

My point being that there may not actually be a "this is it" for anyone, but if we have super good strategies in place for dealing with that moment when suddenly managing our weight seems unimportant THEN maybe we'll be in a good position to maintain for the long haul.
This is excellent.
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Old 06-14-2014, 09:29 PM   #15
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Ubergirl - I *did* find therapy helpful! I went for about 4 months, mainly because I had a pretty good idea of what it was in the past that was 'eating' me (my parents both abandoned me when I was in elementary school and I grew up in a very chaotic home). I agree with what you said about the support, too, and how chaos can unexpectedly enter our lives and throw our eating plans for a loop. One of the things I love about my life now is that if I feel stress, I want to exercise, not overeat. I still binge, but it's only a few times a year now, and not NEARLY as bad as it used to be. I still struggle with my love of food, though. I love to bake, and I love to eat. I love how eating sweets makes me feel. When I'm down, there's nothing like ice cream and brownies, you know? But I do feel like I have better coping mechanisms now, and the best support ever with my husband.

I love everyone else's points, too...I think it's so helpful to identify WHY this HAS to be it this time. Frankly, how it was at 265 pounds is still painfully fresh in my mind. I can't ever, ever go back to that dark place again. I have pictures and journals in case I need a reminder.
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