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How do you know that THIS IS IT - the final time?

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Old 06-15-2014, 02:00 AM   #16
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Same here.

Therapy
Have thrown out all my clothes once they don't fit.
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Old 06-15-2014, 09:45 AM   #17
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I guess I never have the feeling this is the final time. I feel that I have a lifelong affliction that I have to be vigilant about every single day. That does not mean I sit around and obsess about it but have an awareness in my mind that any day could be the beginning of a downhill slide. I am definitely a one day at a time kind of person. I set goals but am aware that anything could happen.
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Old 06-16-2014, 07:48 AM   #18
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The last time I lost 100lbs it's was definitely a "this is it" time. I knew I would never be this big again...but years later here I am. With most of that weight back on. I think in retrospect I got too comfortable and thought I could take a "break" when I started a new job. But that was three years ago.

This time around I want that certainty but I have doubts. I'm terrifies I will end up like my 65 year old aunt who just had kidney failure and a heart attack, not to mention she's a diabetic and she can't walk from the kitchen to the living room without sounding like she ran a marathon. I'm 32 and I swore I'd be thin by 30. This will be my third journey in 10 years. I guess it's safe to say I've failed myself and I'm scared to be confident incase I let myself down again.

That being said I am more careful this time about being slack. I try not to be to cockey about it. I need to be vigilant and consistent so that I don't give up. I need to keep going. No one will do this for me and I can't take "breaks" because this is a life journey not just a weight loss journey. There is no finish line just goals and accomplishments along the way. I have to make this a perminant change or my kids will be visiting me in the hospital one day thinking they are loosing me too soon.
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Old 06-16-2014, 11:55 AM   #19
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Such an interesting thread that really touches home for me. Reading the posts, I kept nodding my head in agreement. It is comforting seeing others that have the same thoughts and struggles that I have/had. I was going to quote all of your wonderful posts that pertain to me, but that would make this way too long!

I really hope that this is it but can not be sure. In the 90's, I lost 100+ pounds and regain all plus more very quickly. Then a few years ago I lost 100+ pounds and regained half before I put the brakes on by asking for help.

My current weight loss effort is focused on maintaining more than losing. I am developing strategies that I hope will keep me from gaining again.

* I believe that accepting the possibility of regain helps keep me focused on not starting down the wrong path. Fear is a powerful motivator. Example: In college drug use was rampant around me. It was the 70s, during the love child era but I know that it has probably been the same ever since. I was tempted to indulge just a little but the firm belief that one hit on a joint would make me a complete drug addict kept me from touching it.

* I have accepted that I can never go back to eating the way I used to eat. That there are some foods that I can never have again on a daily basis, maybe even on an occasional basis.

* Daily weighing or at least weekly weighing. Avoiding the scales is usually one of the first signs that I am slipping.

* I remember often the problems that my huge amount of excess weight caused. Going back to that would really diminish my life style.

* I am trying to find a realistic goal weight that I can maintain. My goal weight may (probably will) be as high as many people's starting weight. However, my life is so much better at 180 than it was at 280 - 300. I will be better off maintaining 180 than going down to a perfect 135 and struggling.

* As part of finding that goal weight, I have started having maintenance breaks to be sure that I can realistically maintain my current weight. I think that all future weight loss will be done in 5 to 10 pound segments with months of maintenance between. Speed is not a concern at this point.

* I have a plan for if/when that regain starts. I will ask for help before I regain half the weight, even if I am not sure now what type of help that will need to be. I will see a doctor that specializes in weight loss, a therapist, OA, or whatever type help seems appropriate at the time. Even though it would be a last approach, I would even turn to a surgeon.

* I would not be true to myself if I do not include my spiritual aspect of this. I pray everyday for help from God.
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Old 06-16-2014, 01:44 PM   #20
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Love your post, time2lose!
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Old 06-16-2014, 01:49 PM   #21
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Cheryl, what a thoughtful, wonderful, and inspiring post.

You have highlighted so many individual issues that stood in my own way that I think it's worth commenting on some of the points individually.

Quote:
* I am trying to find a realistic goal weight that I can maintain. My goal weight may (probably will) be as high as many people's starting weight. However, my life is so much better at 180 than it was at 280 - 300. I will be better off maintaining 180 than going down to a perfect 135 and struggling.
I can't stress enough how good an idea this is! One of the things that really threw me for a loop personally was that I never reached my "goal" weight. I was shooting for normal BMI, and didn't see any reason I couldn't get there-- since I knew that was my weight in college. But at age 50, after 20 years of being morbidly obese, I could not get there. At 30 lbs over my goal I was fit enough to run four miles, my body fat percentage measured as within the normal range, and I was out of plus size clothes. I'd give anything to be there again, and I wished I had mentally said to myself-- this is it, your job is to stay here, rather than still fantasizing about getting smaller.

Quote:
* As part of finding that goal weight, I have started having maintenance breaks to be sure that I can realistically maintain my current weight. I think that all future weight loss will be done in 5 to 10 pound segments with months of maintenance between. Speed is not a concern at this point.
Also an excellent idea. Take some time to enjoy the fact that your life is SO MUCH
BETTER at the lower weight, rather than always chasing after the goal of being lower.

Quote:
* I have a plan for if/when that regain starts. I will ask for help before I regain half the weight, even if I am not sure now what type of help that will need to be. I will see a doctor theater specializes in weight loss, a therapist, OA, or whatever type help seems appropriate at the time. Even though it would be a last approach, I would even turn to a surgeon.
How I wish I had done this! When the going got rough, my online support group simply wasn't enough.
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End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:11 PM   #22
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For me being successful and knowing "this is it" was about figuring out what my body needs/wants for optimal health and how to achieve that in a way that is logical and manageable.

I lost a significant amount of weight in 2005/06 but I did it with a very restrictive diet and an enormous of exercise. Then...a few life changes....and none of that was sustainable anymore....and I totally lost focus and regained.

In 2010, I focused mostly on exercise. I could run a 5K but I was still fat.

So, I took the time (2 years!) to really figure out a plan that incorporated what I knew about my body and was totally doable forever. In January 2013, I put that plan into action....and it's working.

Last November, the plan was really put to the test. I severed the tendons in my finger and had to have surgery. I could barely cook or wash dishes so I was pretty much dependent on other people to prepare meals for me. I had to ask for what I needed and/or figure out how to eat what I was given. And I couldn't exercise (at the advice of pt) so I was a lazy blob for months.

Plus, it was the worst winter since the beginning of time so I was depressed in addition to being in pain and stressed out. So, yeah, awfulness. I gained during those 6 months but only about 15 pounds....in the past I could have easily put on at least double that amount. And as soon as things got sorted, I got back on plan.

So, in conclusion, I believe THIS IS IT because (a) it's doable (b) it's working and (c) it passed the "getting derailed" test.

Could I be wrong? Absolutely. But I'm being totally optimistic that I'm right.
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:30 PM   #23
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I find this thread interesting and inspirational. Thanks for posting it.

For me, the answer is that I don't know that this will be the last time. In fact, I'm guessing that it won't be the last time. I am hoping that I will lose a significant amount this time, and that the next time I struggle with regain, I will only backslide a little bit. I have kept 40 pounds off for about two years now. I consider that a victory, even if I have also gained 40 pounds back.

But really - what's the alternative? Accepting all of the challenging aspects of being overweight and not enjoying the intoxicating feeling of being on plan?

I know I love it when I am in control of my food and I'm exercising regularly. I just acquired two stepsons, in addition to my own children, and one of them loves to play football and soccer and basketball. I love those sports too. Both of them like to race back to the car or around the block and have water gun fights, etc. So, even if this isn't the "last time," I feel really good about making choices that will help me bond with my new stepsons in a non-threatening way and continue to do things with my children that I love.

It might not be the last time, but I am hoping to hang onto my present commitment as long as possible and squeeze every last drop of joy from these good habits. And that I will love it enough to make the sacrifice to go through the first few agonizing days/weeks of being on plan the next time it's necessary to start again.
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:59 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaurieDawn View Post
I find this thread interesting and inspirational. Thanks for posting it.

For me, the answer is that I don't know that this will be the last time. In fact, I'm guessing that it won't be the last time. I am hoping that I will lose a significant amount this time, and that the next time I struggle with regain, I will only backslide a little bit. I have kept 40 pounds off for about two years now. I consider that a victory, even if I have also gained 40 pounds back.
This is such a good point! One thing that I'm proud of is that I have NEVER once, since June 2009, gone back to my high weight, or gotten so completely out of shape that I couldn't exercise. I've never gone back to the original size 24 I was in. Between 1991 and 2009, there was only one story. UP. Now, I've managed, on average, to keep my weight about 40lbs lower than it was when I started out. (right now, I'm 14 lbs above that, but I'm working on it!) It's a process, not a destination.
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End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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Old 06-16-2014, 06:24 PM   #25
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very nice thread we are all in the same boat and most regained for the same reasons. Last spring I was feeling like a total failure because of the weight I had regained, I put back half the pounds I had lost. I went to see the nutritionist I had seen the first time and she made me realise that it was not a fail, that I was still 30 pounds lighter than when I started. So she told me it will be easy :0) you have half of what you had to accomplish last time, so here I am today and it might not be the last time but I inow I can do it.
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Old 06-18-2014, 09:18 PM   #26
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I am really liking reading the posts on this thread. its like a miracle that I found this community. I cant imagine why no engine search led me here sooner.

I do not know that this is it. This is the final time. I knew it when I gave up smoking all those years ago. But with food its different. I do not know. I live in fear of slipping. I live in fear of food. Even when I am maintaining the intense desire for fattning foods is still there.

Anyway, the last major loss ( 100 lbs) was about 15 years ago. But there have been minor gains and losses since then. Perhaps there have been 35 lbs involved in the gain and loss since. Significant enough so i was overweight during that time. Felt that familiar shame. i cannot go back even there. And yet I know that threat is always looming.

I do not think fear is a good motivator in life. However, I do not have another one. It is the pure fear of gaining back yet again, the weight I have lost. That's what keeps me in check. But its exhausting. Walking on ( breaded deep fried) eggshells.

I have been very diligent. But a series of events this year caused me to waiver in my vigilance. Each event in the series causing me to become a bit more lax in the vigilance. Finally I find myself at the next step in a crossroad.

But for now, this is it. I am not going to go back to the old eating pattern. I stepped into it for several days. I am back on track ( I say half believing myself). Am I in the clear? No. Will I ever be out of danger of relapse? Probably not. It is vigilance and determination that are my ally. Still I do not know if these allies are strong enough. For today, I believe they are. But its a rough road. REALLY hard.

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Old 06-19-2014, 02:54 PM   #27
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This isn't it. This is never it.

I have been obese my entire adult life, and I'll be 50 this year. I have been insulin resistant since High School, have PCOS, and am now pre-Diabetic. My metabolism is officially "broken."

Just like an alcoholic will always have a taste for alcohol, I will always have a craving to overeat. I have a lifetime of coping-using-food habits that are ingrained. I may sand and buff them, but even when they fade they'll still be there and will have some pull on me.

I have spent the past five years coming to terms with the idea that I will always have to watch what I eat if I don't want to progress from pre-D to full-blown Diabetes. Strangely, it's also helped a lot with me dealing with my attitude toward dieting.

I mean, we throw around terms like "way of eating" instead of "diet", but with our scale goals and our loose skin posts and our healthy-bucket-lists (what will I do when I lose X?) we still speak in terms of "now" (when I'm dieting) and "then" (when I'm no longer dieting). The more I read of maintainers, the more I realize that "then" will be very much like "now."

I will NEVER be able to eat the amount and types of food I once did without blood sugar issues and weight gain.

There is no "last time." This is life. Gaining, relosing, making choices every single day.
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Old 06-19-2014, 03:23 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synger View Post
There is no "last time." This is life. Gaining, relosing, making choices every single day.
Yes. What I've found is that "it's a lifestyle change" until it isn't. I completely get over bingeing until I start again. I find losing weight effortless until it becomes impossible.

I'm trying to learn to work within that reality.
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End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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Old 06-20-2014, 11:38 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ubergirl View Post
Yes. What I've found is that "it's a lifestyle change" until it isn't. I completely get over bingeing until I start again. I find losing weight effortless until it becomes impossible.

I'm trying to learn to work within that reality.
Both this and what Synger said. Yes. With "this time," which is in its infancy stage for me, I am feeling great and thinking some of the same old thoughts. "This feels so good." "This isn't hard." "I don't understand why I don't do this all the time." But I have enough experience to know that those thoughts are fleeting. So, I am going to love them while they last, not trust in them too much, and keep finding and working strategies that work for me right now.
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(Trainer boy challenge #1 completed 09/11 - down 23.2 pounds - starting weight 239.8) (Trainer boy challenge #2 completed 11/11 - down 23.4 pounds - starting weight 216.6)

New Year's Challenge: to stay under 190
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Old 06-21-2014, 09:44 AM   #30
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Pattience, I think you're so right about being able to recognize that you've started a re-gain and address the reasons why it's happening...and stop it in its tracks! I've never, ever maintained before...just clawed my way to a low weight using unhealthy practices, and I was unable to stay put. That's one reason why I'm much more confident this time. This is the first time I've done this slowly and in a healthy way. I feel much more informed this time as well, and I've never before had faith that I could really accomplish this - I do now.

I quit sweets for a while, but that's not a sustainable lifestyle for me. I've learned to just be very moderate with my intake and also be very choosy about what I eat. No more fast food brownies for me again, EVER. I will wait for QUALITY! I made a fabulous berry pie last week from scratch, crust too. I didn't have a slice, but maybe every other day, whenever I:

1) had a craving, AND
2) had exercised
3) felt in control
4) had the spare calories

...I had a spoonful or two of pie and counted 50 calories. I'm working on a "good 90% of the time" program and it's one that really fits into my lifestyle. If I see that I want to keep going back to a sweet, I send it to work with my husband. Out of sight, out of mind! If it starts to get out of control, I stop baking for a few weeks. Then I resume. I feel like I *will* be able to work this into my life, with these safeguards in place. I finally feel like I'm in a really good place with things, but recognize that I need to be ultra-vigilant...for life.
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