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Tried it all, stuck to none of it, self pity

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Old 03-12-2014, 10:24 AM   #1
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Default Tried it all, stuck to none of it, self pity

Hello all,

I keep gaining weight. I mean almost daily. I work out 4 times per week, have INTENTIONS of eating better, but never do. What's funny about gaining weight is you feel like crap about your weight, then a year passes and you gain more, then you look back at when your were ONLY 250 lbs and think I want to get back there. So, you litereally have self loathing, shame, guilt, remorse, feelings of being "not good enough" constantly in your head.

I mean what was once a "wake up call, a rock bottom" eventually becomes your freaking goal weight a year later... How insane is that.

I've been gaining weight for 10 years. Really on and off my whole life, but in the past 10 years it's like freight train I can't stop. I've balloned. 10 years ago I weiged 170 lbs (5'10). Today I weighed in at 277. WTF!!!!

I've read ALL of the books. I've tried all of the diets. I'm very active, work out a lot, do activities outside. But, I'm tired - unless full of caffine. I'm lethargic, life seems like a chore.

Sorry to be such a downer but I just wanted to get this out there in hopes this causes someone to share how they turned their life around.

Here is a typical eating day for me.

7am: energy drink no breakfast
9am: gym
12pm: Lunch - Something life Qudoba, Subway, Lunch out with customers, hot dogs at home, etc.. Typically a meat, bread, and some type of "chip" diet coke.
3pm: Greek Yogurt w/ protien powder diet coke
6pm: Dinner - out usually - eat whatever I want - 3 diet cokes at least.
9pm: Dessert - Something like Ice cream, cake, etc...
12am: Wake up starving: Peanut butter jelly, cheese it's, cookies, milk, bagels, etc.. usually 1000 calories.

Not exaclty a championship diet...

Here's what I've tried in the past.

Advocare clense: Fail
South Beach: Fail
Sommersize: Fail
Counting Calories: Fail
Deepak Chopra's Book: Fail
Atkins: Fail
Weight Watchers: Fail
My Fit Pal: Fail
3 meals a day with nothing in between: Fail

Fail, fail, fail, fail...

2 things have worked for me in the past.

1. When I was in my 20's I ate two meals a day - that's it. Lost 50 lbs.

2. In my later 20's I did Suzzane Sommers diet, got rid of caffine - Lost 40 lbsl.

Would love some thoughts, help, prayers, whatever you got...

Thanks everyone!
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Old 03-12-2014, 10:57 AM   #2
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Hugs

You can do this! I would recommend making small changes, one at a time until they became "natural" and habitual. Maybe start with cutting down to one diet coke a day?

good luck on your journey!!
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Old 03-12-2014, 11:10 AM   #3
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You sound like me a couple of years ago. I started a new diet every Monday and if I got to Tuesday... well that was a miracle.

Last year I got the dx of diabetes, gout, high blood pressure (210/100 as in stroke category high) this scared me enough to give myself the gift of getting well. I removed high glycemic food (bad carbs) from my diet because that would get my blood sugar where it needed to be. As a result of working on my health, my weight started coming off. I started walking because that would also get my blood sugar and blood pressure down. Sometimes the "force" comes from inside you and sometimes, you are just forced!

There is no magic bullet, I was never really ready to change what I was doing until my health required me to. I wish I'd not wasted my younger years wishing for things to be different.

You can do this, change one attitude at a time.
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I have to fight the tendency of stinkin' thinkin' to give up because I'm not progressing. As long as I am still moving and watching what I put in my mouth then I am progressing no matter what the scale says.
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Old 03-12-2014, 11:12 AM   #4
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Oh hon, I understand. I spent most of my life in the 250 range, struggling to stay anywhere under that . . . and when a buttload of stress hit a while back, I ended up gaining over 100 lbs. in the course of one year and finding myself at 360 lbs., unable to fit in the largest jeans available at the plus sized stores. In that moment I would have given anything to only be 100 lbs. overweight again and back in a size 24 instead of 200+ and in an unknown 32+ size!

What has worked for me is using a weekly planner as a food/fitness journal. I just take things one day at a time, one meal at a time. I do my best to make choices that I'll be proud to write down. I look over the previous days and weeks to see how well I've done and what I can improve upon. And I don't beat myself up for going off-track; I just tell myself to keep trying. And I do! I've lost about 150 lbs. now (you can see progress photos on my website linked in my signature) and am currently at my lowest range ever (since junior high!), despite the fact that I had a baby just 3 months ago.

Something else that's helped me is eating as many whole foods as possible and staying away from overly-processed carbs, especially sugar and white flour. It's not the same for everyone, but those things tend to make me hungrier and hungrier! My cravings are much more under control when I stay away from things that spike my blood sugar, plus my energy levels are more stabilized when I'm not constantly crashing over the rushes. I also read labels and watch my portion sizes.

You can do this! Clear out your pantry and fridge, load them up with healthier options, and check the nutrition info of frequently-visited restaurants. Find a way to get even just a little walking in every day. Keep filtered water in the fridge so you can reach for that instead of something fizzy. And get rid of those self-loathing feelings; it's difficult to make progress and feel better (both physically and emotionally) when you're not happy with yourself. Easier said than done I know, but look for reasons to take good care of yourself and taking good care of yourself is exactly what you'll do.

Good luck to you! A lot of us around here understand, so check back often to find inspiration.
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Old 03-12-2014, 11:34 AM   #5
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I feel your pain. I was crazy out of control and with zero will power to start. I would eat because food was there in the pantry and because, why not? And one day something clicked, I don't know how, and willpower came out of thin air like never before and now I have been dieting for almost 2 months and it's been the longest. It even amazes me because I have never stuck to a diet. EVER.

I hope that you can fight yourself and this madness. I know how you feel and how it feels; I hope you can shake this off.
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Old 03-12-2014, 11:59 AM   #6
Trying to be in the 160s
 
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I think you answered your own question.

If 2 meals a day worked before, it can work again.

I ditched dinner.

So ditch a meal, make no other change (initially), watch the scale and work from there. Use the scale to motivate you to make more small changes and you will be a new person in no time.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:00 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jdpgolfer View Post
Hello all,


2 things have worked for me in the past.

1. When I was in my 20's I ate two meals a day - that's it. Lost 50 lbs.

2. In my later 20's I did Suzzane Sommers diet, got rid of caffine - Lost 40 lbsl.
Don't feel bad about the approaches that didn't work out for you. Lots of us have failed many times. As long as you keep trying, you haven't failed. Think about why each of those didn't work, and maybe some aspect that did work that you might include in a future approach.

Also, why don't you retry one of the approaches that worked for you in the past?

For example, why not eat just two meals? Some people have a lot of success with fewer meals or an eating window. My husband has an 8 hour window which generally boils down to two meals for him. I have a 2.5 hour eating window which generally means one meal. We both have additional eating rules (we use different rules) but we are both happy and successful with this approach. (BTW, I shrank my eating window slowly, starting with 10AM to 10PM, until I found the ideal window for me.)

Alternatively, you might go back to the Suzanne diet if you liked that better.

We each need to find what works best for us. What works for each of us can change over time, but if you've had success with some approach in the past, why not try it again?
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:14 PM   #8
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Commit to it. Don't make excuses! You can do it, but you have to make the commitment. There is no magic in any particular diet or fitness plan, everyone has different needs and you must choose what will work for you. Then.... stick to it! No one can do it for you, you have to want it badly enough to make the changes you need to make.

Motivation only gets you to the start. Dedication is what takes you to your goal.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:27 PM   #9
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Honestly, I could have written the exact same post. I've been morbidly obese for a decade. I made several half assed attempts. My dad DIED because of his weight and I couldn't get it together and lose. I had a "click" moment finally, after several events, including going on a trip with my friends and being too fat to do ANYTHING they did, and when both my cousin and my SIL announced their weddings and I couldn't face seeing all my family at that size.

That was August of 2012. I have started over about 98 times since then. I still struggle with sticking to my exercise and eating on plan. But it's been 19 months since I've had a coke more than once a month. 19 months of drinking enough water and of not eating 2 A&W breakfast sandwiches every morning. The longest stretch I've gone since then without any exercise is 28 days and I felt like such dirt I got back at it. All of those are HUGE for me. The first 100 pounds are gone. I have nearly 200 left to go. But I can do it.

My weight loss is slow and maddening right now. But I'm still trying.

You don't have to make a million changes and be perfect, but the little ones add up.
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Old 03-12-2014, 01:23 PM   #10
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Sooo many of us could have written that!! I tried a diet virtually EVERY Monday of my adult life, with the exception of the weeks or month at a time where I gave myself permission to eat A N Y T H I N G

I can only say what worked for me - I'm not a 'typical' dieter on here, so many folks know exactly how many grams of carbs and protein they eat, down to the microbe, and I just went with eating a lot less, and some better stuff.

I saw a therapist to find out WHY I was such a spoiled little brat who felt entitled to eat what I wanted all the time, and worked thru that and then something felt different, I had other things to do besides eat, and never looked back.

If I had to tweak anything in your diet, I'd say eat some food first thing, a good solid breakfast really does work wonders!
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Old 03-12-2014, 01:40 PM   #11
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GREAT STUFF GUYS! Thank you. What I've gathered from this is:

1. There is no magic bullet / diet
2. You have find the motivation from somwhere (sounds like a lot of you found it after many attempts of failing - I can certainly relate to the failing part).
3. Find a plan that works for me - doesn't matter what it is, I just need to stick to it.
4. If I "fall off the wagaon" get right back on - typically one cheat meal / day means I chuck the entire thing out the window.

I do think it's ironic that I know so much about metabolism, calories in food, what it takes caloricly to lose weight, etc... and none of it helps me. I think what is missing is the desire/motivation/persistance to stay with anything.

I have to find it from somwhere. Where did some of you find it?
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Old 03-12-2014, 01:46 PM   #12
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Once you start to lose you'll find a lot more motivation. It's the momentum that keeps you going. That and how much better you feel.
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Old 03-12-2014, 02:05 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jdpgolfer View Post
Where did some of you find it?
At my highest, I told myself I had no choice unless I wanted to end up wheelchair-bound. I seriously had great difficulty walking from one side of the room to the other . . . and I was still in my 20's!

My other breaking point was the fall/winter of 2011/2012, when I'd let myself get out of control for the first time on years; I gained about 25 pounds in a matter of months and found myself pregnant for the first time . . . and I quickly miscarried. I vowed to take care of myself so I could have a healthy pregnancy someday, and here I am now with a beautiful 3-month-old boy.
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Old 03-12-2014, 03:19 PM   #14
Trying to be in the 160s
 
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I found my motivation in the scale, all the way down to 180. Then it went berserk. That's another story.

One of the positive things about being heavy is - everything else being equal - it is a lot easier to lose weight. Very easy in fact. I miss seeing the pounds fly off which, from my experience, happened when I was over 200 and was really quick from my peak of 281lbs.

At some point other motivators will enter. Like clothes fitting better, smaller sizes, body looking better, feeling better etc. But that number on the scale got me going like nothing else.
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If the bar ain't bendin', you're just pretendin'!

Last edited by IanG : 03-12-2014 at 03:20 PM.
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Old 03-13-2014, 08:37 AM   #15
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Your post could also be mine (like alot of us posting here). We try and we try to lose weight and get healthier. But the trying just does not work. I think it takes that AHAH moment. Where your heart and mind just start as you know deep down inside that this is what you need (and want) to do. It is a mission and a desire and a BIG TIME COMMITMENT to yourself. Just know that YOU are WORTH IT! Commitment.

When I get distracted by foods that I know are trigger foods.. I just tell myself... well if I really want that (fries, pizza, bread, baked goods etc) if I really want it.. it will be there tomorrow and I really don't need it right now. After time... it does get easier where you don't have to fight your litte voice (I call EGO) in your head trying to get you back onto your old habits. You can outlast that little voice and Win... You can! Look at all the winners here on this site. Noone did it without stress and setbacks. We just have to conquer them!

I KNOW you can do it. Do you KNOW YOU CAN?! If so YOU ARE GOLDEN!
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