[RoxieK]

for even just a moment I could see myself through someone else's eyes.

I still see myself at almost 400lbs. I'm afraid of breaking chairs and not fitting places.

This just keeps getting to me. I look at a picture side by side and I know I can see the difference but I look in the mirror and I'm still reduced to tears.

I feel like I'm fighting an inner battle that doesn't let up. I know it's going to be a forever thing but I just wish for a moment I could get a glimpse of myself through another's eyes.

Anyone else feeling this way?

[TamTam]

Would you see someone who is compassionate? Funny? Caring? Worthy of love? Someone who lifts others up? Someone who cares for the needs of others? Someone with a big heart? A beautiful smile? Who brightens the room just by being in it? Someone who is someone else's friend? Someone they can talk to? Cry to? Honey, there is more to you than body size. Look at yourself from your inside not your outside.

[RoxieK]

Tamtam - We're much more than an outward appearance even though at times I often loose sight of that. Thank you.

[TamTam]

Originally Posted by RoxieK

Tamtam - We're much more than an outward appearance even though at times I often loose sight of that. Thank you.

It is sad that people more often than not judge us by our size. Some people just won't have anything to do with us and they never try to get to know the person beneath the body size, sadly I do not think that will ever change. Just hang in there and take things one day or even one meal at a time!

[vealcalf2000]

I was just thinking the same thing! It makes me sad sometimes that there are some people I've worked with for years who didn't even know me when I was at my heaviest, but then when I lost weight they were suddenly my best friends. Of course in hindsight it makes me think that it's not such a bad thing to realize how superficial that is and maybe I didn't want to be their friend as much as they didn't want to be my friend at the time either

[TamTam]

Originally Posted by vealcalf2000

I was just thinking the same thing! It makes me sad sometimes that there are some people I've worked with for years who didn't even know me when I was at my heaviest, but then when I lost weight they were suddenly my best friends. Of course in hindsight it makes me think that it's not such a bad thing to realize how superficial that is and maybe I didn't want to be their friend as much as they didn't want to be my friend at the time either

It is sad not to be seen as more than a body size and then when that body size is not an issue for them all of a sudden we are good enough for them. It does go to show how superficial people can be. Good for you on the weight loss!!

[Mozzy]

I look in the mirror and still see a 250 lb person...
When I try on clothes, I'm convinced that there is no way they will fit because they look so tiny and I still see myself as very large.

But comparison photos help a lot. I keep a side by side shot on my phone for a quick reminder...

[Trazey34]

It's weird, when I was 300+ I had the opposite reaction -- in my mind, I could pass for 200 LOL that I was fooling everyone, that I could "carry" my weight just fine, and pictures were always excused as "oh that's a bad angle, I'm not that fat" WOW ha

Now I see myself as smaller for sure, but I still do the quicksie check at a new restaurant to be sure I'll fit in the booth! some things won't ever go away I'm sure

As for people being different once you've lost weight, I think it's important to keep in mind that YOU changed too right? Maybe heavier some people are more closed up, not as friendly etc., and then lose the weight and their real personality comes out which attracts some new friends. I don't assign feelings to OTHER people about MY weight

[stubbornostrich]

Originally Posted by Trazey34

As for people being different once you've lost weight, I think it's important to keep in mind that YOU changed too right? Maybe heavier some people are more closed up, not as friendly etc., and then lose the weight and their real personality comes out which attracts some new friends. I don't assign feelings to OTHER people about MY weight

I think you nailed it. When I am heavier I avoid eye contact much more. In my mind everyone around me is "judging" the "fat girl"....my posture is different....everything is meant to close people off. As I lose the weight and gain back the confidence that I am "worthy" it all begins to change.

It will take time for the mind to adjust...and for some it may even take a little therapy to get through the mental barriers we all build.

[AwShucks]

Roxie, congratulations on your phenomenal weight loss! Wow, girl!

I know just how you feel. I have the same issue. One of my problems is that I "feel" smaller, but I don't "see" myself as smaller. I definitely notice that I take up less space than before - I even feel shorter! But, I don't see it in the mirror.

One thing someone told me to do is to take "headless" photos of myself, so I can examine the body and not focus on the "person." I've held a sticker over my face in some photos to try it, but I think the photos are so familiar to me that it's not working well. I need to try it with some new, recent photos taken expressly for this purpose. Try it!

And, go out and purchase a new full length mirror, or walk around the mall and study yourself in store mirrors and reflective windows. If you see yourself in a new environment, maybe you'll "see" yourself differently. Hang in there!