I always found these types of threads very funny, painfully true, and motivational. So I hope nobody minds me making a new one here! (These are all meant to be sarcastic, hopefully everyone gets that! haha)


I want to stay fat because...

- It's like a hidden mystery going to a restaurant and wondering if I'll fit into the booths.

- Shopping in the plus section for clothes is wonderful. Having a 'plus' on something is good, right? An A+ in school was better than a regular A. So why can't that be true for clothes shopping!

- I like the danger and risk of not being able to fully see my legs when I'm shaving them.

- It's fun to see how many amusement park rides I have to get off of because I'm too big. I like getting a new high score each time I go.

- Having energy is overrated. It's way better to do absolutely nothing when you get off work because you're too tired than to go out and live life.

- I get to improve my poker face everytime I get a new ID at the dmv. It's fun to see how much lower I can say my weight is and get away with it.

LOL!!! Too funny!!!

I want to stay fat because mentally mapping out every room to make sure I can get across without having to ask someone to move is so much fun.

I want to stay fat because it is my own cloaking device making me invisible to the world. Not gonna lie, kind of makes me a super hero...

...it's so much fun to wonder if the person sitting next to you on a plane will roll their eyes when they see you.

....wondering if you're going to need to ask for a seat belt extender.

I want to stay fat because I prefer to be the BFF to all my guy friends instead of a girlfriend. Who needs love anyway?

I want to stay fat so I can make my skinny female friends look better by standing next to me!

I want to stay fat because I love having sweat in between all my rolls, and when I try to pull up my Spanx and jump up and down, my boobs start applauding by themselves.

I want to stay fat because I love when I go to a new doctor and get to see their complete disbelief when I tell them that no, I am not diabetic, no I don't have high blood pressure and my cholesterol levels are better than theirs... I'm just FAT.

Oh - and I love being fat because I like wearing bras that are close to to the equivalent of a steel belted radial tire and seeing your feet is completely overrated.

I want to stay fat because breaking a sweat by getting dried off from the shower, getting dressed, doing my hair & getting out the door to work really IS the ultimate workout. Who needs aerobics!?!

I want to stay fat because after getting to work (see above workout routine) I enjoy telling people that it's because I'm in my late 40's that I'm fanning and sweating! Hooray for menopause(or a close facsimile thereof)!

I want to stay fat because I like making skinny people feel better about themselves when they look at me!