3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

HOW do you start again after endless, ever increasing failures???

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-29-2013, 02:45 PM   #1
Linda
 
famograham's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Beautiful Vancouver Island, B.C. Canada
Posts: 1,781

Height: 5'0"

Default HOW do you start again after endless, ever increasing failures???

Half succeed, gain it all back, plus some. Over, and over, and over and OVER again. For decades.
I am desperate to start over, in so much pain, SO angry at myself...again. How is it that I can let it go for so long that I've surpassed my previous highest weight?
WHY can't I give myself a 5 pound window and stay there....WHY?

And also...how can I be so happy in some areas of my life, and so devastatingly miserable in others?? It makes no sense. I am so lost right now...in THIS part of my life.

Linda
__________________
TRYING to leave the batteries out of my scale!!
famograham is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2013, 02:48 PM   #2
Linda
 
famograham's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Beautiful Vancouver Island, B.C. Canada
Posts: 1,781

Height: 5'0"

Default

It's like multiple personality disorder....but on ONE life struggle....
__________________
TRYING to leave the batteries out of my scale!!
famograham is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2013, 05:38 PM   #3
I'm bringing sexy back!
 
Mozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4,228

S/C/G: 242/234.5/167

Height: 5'5"

Default

Hugs
__________________

One for every five pounds lost!
Mozzy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2013, 07:15 PM   #4
Enjoying la bella vita
 
nationalparker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,677

S/C/G: 179/169/150

Height: 5-4

Default

Hang in there; beating yourself up doesn't do a thing. I speak from experience on that. It's easy to do. But pick yourself up, dust yourself off and finish day one. Then move on to day two. Day three. Keep moving on.

What are some of your biggest challenges? When do you struggle the most - home/away, morning or evening, etc.? What do YOU see as the key to your success?
__________________
nationalparker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2013, 08:00 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 881

S/C/G: 24W/10-12/10-12

Height: 5', 5"

Default

How do you define "failure?" If failure is recognizing the need to change and then getting off the couch to make things happen and if/when you fall you have the strength and energy to ADMIT IT, get back up and try again....then call me the biggest failure ever!!!!

Failure is throwing in the towel....you're still in the fight....and because you're still here...you're winning. Not perfect....but winning.

Hugs and smiles your way....
__________________


Welcome to my crazy life.....http://theythatweight.blogspot.com/

A City Girl's Guide to Faith, Weight and Sanity
free1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2013, 11:03 PM   #6
Burn It!
 
Aclai4067's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 2,515

S/C/G: 310.6/310.6/155

Height: 5'8

Default

How do you start again? You just do it it. I realize that's an obnoxiously simple solution, but it's the only one I've got.

I too had a lot of anger toward myself for the regain. And I think that held me back from re-starting for a little while. Because I just couldn't stop beating myself up over it, which made me feel more miserable and want to eat.

I can't tell you I had any revolutionary moment that made me suddenly able to start. I literally just woke up one day and decided to do it. I'm 2 weeks in and feeling strong in it. I can't explain how or why, but this time just feels different than all the other times I've tried to start over the past two years (and has lasted longer too).

It feels like before, when I lost the 70 lbs. I'm hoping I can hold onto this, and lose more than 70 this time. I still have doubts. I still have anger. But I don't let myself dwell on those things for long. Right now, I'm just focused on that first 15 pounds.
__________________
Ashley
Mini Goal 1- 5%


Overall:

Last edited by Aclai4067 : 07-29-2013 at 11:03 PM.
Aclai4067 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2013, 11:12 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
Kaitie9399's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 755

Default

IMHO: For me, it's not about reaching a goal weight anymore. I lost 65 pounds and gained it all back once already. This time I have the mindset of 'I'm always going to be on a diet--always'. For the rest of my life I have to watch what I eat and exercise. My true goal is to be around 125, it's going to take me a long time to get there--and when I do I need to keep myself there. I will never not be dieting. Ever.

I think that if you have this same mindset you can stop the cycle of losing and gaining and losing and gaining. You must always be working on losing weight, there is no end.
__________________


Kaitie9399 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 08:29 AM   #8
One day at a time!
 
time2lose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The deep south
Posts: 4,349

S/C/G: 301/see ticker/160

Height: 5' 2"

Default

I have been where you are so I understand. I don't think that there is an easy answer. Don't give up. Keep trying different plans or methods until you find the right way for you. We are all experiments of one.
__________________
Cheryl



Persistence is more important than Perfection

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. - Winston Churchill
time2lose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 10:23 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
Harriette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 107

S/C/G: restart! 168/153/140

Height: 5'2"

Default

I agree with the "you just do it" answer. I am not angry at myself for the regain. A bit disappointed in myself for sure but I also had a **** of a lot of fun in those 8 months and now am paying for it Kind of like my credit cards! You just pick yourself up and start again.
Harriette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 06:18 PM   #10
Senior Member
 
foreverfaye's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 177

S/C/G: 242/ticker/212

Height: 5'6

Default

I'm recently starting over myself for what seems like the nth time and honestly the only way I can handle it is to focus on today. I want to eat within my calorie limit today and that is it.
__________________
1st GOAL!!


-If you want results you've never had before, you need to do things you've never done before.
foreverfaye is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 06:43 PM   #11
Heidi
 
newleaf123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 2,963

S/C/G: 204.5/149/153

Height: 5'7"

Default

Oh, I have so been where you are now. How do you do it again? You just do. You get to the point where you stop feeling angry, you stop feeling sad, and you just commit. For me, I committed to 1 pound. That's it. I could lose 1 pound, right? And once that pound was gone, I started over. I committed to 1 pound. I could maintain a 1 pound loss and lose another pound, right? You get the drift.

I could have written your exact post 15 months ago; you can do this
__________________
Original Goal Met



Working on losing some bloat...





newleaf123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 07:09 PM   #12
I think I'm losing it!
 
AwShucks's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Here
Posts: 539

S/C/G: Highest 350 308/220/160

Height: 5'5"

Default

I agree with the poster that says this is a forever process. All my life, I've been either gaining weight or losing weight... never maintaining. I've lost and regained 75, 90, and 100+ lbs before. So, I know how it goes. This time, I'm extra vigilant. I do believe that I'll never be completely "free" from watching what I eat.

Right now, I've been about the same weight since the first of the year, and I guess this is maintaining, although my desire is to lose more, and I feel like I'm sacrificing (although, admittedly, not consistently). Eventually I want to get to this point at my goal weight -- even though it won't put an end to this process.

What I need to do right now is get back in the groove - seriously - and get the rest of the weight off. So, I need a kick in the butt! We can do this!
__________________

Losing again since January 2012


"Tomorrow is a new day; You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson
(3.10.14) I resolve to lose the last 60lbs to make it all the way to goal! One blossom = 5lbs

Last edited by AwShucks : 07-30-2013 at 07:22 PM.
AwShucks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 07:22 PM   #13
Senior Member
 
cleancowgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 317

S/C/G: 276/209/155

Height: 5'5

Default

I understand your frustration but what is the alternative??? You need to examine your plan and realize what you are doing is not working and you are getting frustrated so you need a fresh approach to this. I was in your shoes but a lot heavier, I knew If I did not do something I would be in the hospital. My dr suggested Eating Clean by Tosca Reno. This plan is not for everyone but in 8 weeks I have lost 29 pounds. I work out 4-5 days a week too but getting rid of the crap/chemicals/ processed foods has made a major way that I look at food, my diet and my life. You need to find what works for you, but a big deal is tracking or journaling everything you eat. It actually might show you triggers where food causes you to quit and fail.
__________________


cleancowgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2013, 09:01 PM   #14
Vortex
 
Vortex_VVV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Charleston, IL, USA
Posts: 2,349

S/C/G: 330/see ticker/???

Default

You just do it, as others have said, because what's the alternative? BUT...

for me, recognizing what had been holding me back was important. There's no simple way to do this. Therapy is one way to try. Another is to read and read and read on these boards--listen to what others say about changes they've made that have helped them, then ask if you could try the same change.

For me, for example, listening to others say over and over how much exercise helped them maintain energy and positive outlook finally convinced me to get serious about exercise, and it turns out sitting on my butt too much was one of the things that was really holding me back (mostly because it was contributing to depression and poor insulin control). Who knew?

Really, really, I know what it feels like to lose and re-gain. But you know you don't want to give up--that's why you're still here talking with us. And we don't want you to give up, either, because we know that if you can make your positive changes stick, it will mean a happier, healthier life for you.

Hang in with us!
__________________



Last edited by Vortex_VVV : 07-31-2013 at 09:02 PM.
Vortex_VVV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2013, 09:05 AM   #15
Caroline
 
thistoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 2,317

Height: 5'0"

Default

I am mad at myself all the time for regaining, so I know exactly where you're coming from.

I get mad at myself when I can't find any clothes that fit (because I refuse to go buy new ones at this weight.)

I get mad at myself when I eat something I know is terrible for me, even though I've had a rotten day and spent hours telling myself 'I deserve it' (whatever that means.)

I get mad at myself when I think of how *good* I felt at 150 pounds, and how easy it was to get back over 200.

But the good thing about doing it once is that you know what works for you, so you can do it again. At least that's what I tell myself.

I think where I really went wrong was that I got down to a 'normal' weight, and I thought that meant *I* was finally normal. I thought I could go out with my friends and eat what they ate, that it was 'just this one time' or a 'special occasion'. But man, suddenly I was having all kinds of special occasions to celebrate!

What I learned is that I will never be 'normal'. Like Kaitie, I will always be on a diet, or I will always be heavy. There's no middle ground for me. That's just the way it's going to work. It sucks and I get mad about that too, but getting mad hasn't changed it.
__________________
thistoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:51 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2