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It's About My Comfort Level, Not Yours!

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Old 07-08-2013, 02:12 PM   #1
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Default It's About My Comfort Level, Not Yours!

OK, warning, this is a snarky, snotty vent post. Lately, a couple of people in my life have been giving me flak about my clothing choices. Particularly about the fact that I donít wear sleeveless anything and I rarely wear short sleeves. I have two reasons for that. One, Iím freaking cold most of the time and two, I donít like the way my upper arms look. The truth is, though, I shouldnít have to give any <insert profanity> justification for what I choose to wear! If Iím not comfortable in sleeveless or short sleeves then why the <insert string of profanities here> should I wear them? Hereís a news flash, I wear clothing that I like, that I feel comfortable in and that I find pleasing. I donít give a single <insert another profanity referring to a ratís rear end> if you are more comfortable sleeveless, Iím not! I donít care if you think that my arms look ďjust fine,Ē I donít! I have a mirror and I can clearly see these cottage cheese batwings of mine. I donít care if you think I should flap them about anyway, Iím not comfortable with that!

Anyone else having problems with people saying, ďOh but you should wear this,Ē when ďthisĒ is not something youíd touch with a 10-foot-pole?
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Old 07-08-2013, 02:37 PM   #2
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Haha-that was quite a vent! I hope it made you feel better.

I had the exact same thing happen to me a few years back. I hate my upper arms too-with a passion. They are huge and weight loss has not made them much smaller. I never wear short sleeves or sleeveless unless I'm outside and its ABSOLUTELY necessary (like it being summer and I live in Florida). I went to party with a couple of my friends and my one loud mouthed friend decided to blurt out in front of everyone "OMG why do you always wear long sleeves??? It's not wintertime!" To which I said "why does it matter to you what I wear?" She didn't reply.

Its no one's business what you wear. As long as you are comfortable that is all that matters. I think people project their own insecurities on others (my friend is very overweight and has been struggling with it for years). Guess what-I still never go sleeveless and I'm very happy and comfortable with that decision.
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Old 07-08-2013, 02:41 PM   #3
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I hear you. Oh yes. And lately people have been trying to tell me not only what to wear but also where to buy my clothes. Meaning, they've been trying to convince me to leave the plus size clothing shops behind and start shopping in "regular size clothing" stores. I know they mean well, but... as silly as it may sound, this is a huge step for me, it really is, and I'm just not ready to take it (yet).
So, yeah, no solution or advice, but I know exactly what you are talking about.
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Old 07-08-2013, 02:55 PM   #4
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Sometimes the easiest way to get people to stop doing something that annoys you is to tell them to stop because it annoys you.

If that doesn't work, you can try giving them similar advise every time they offer their opinion. "I'll give your suggestion some thought, by the way you shouldn't wear that neckline, it shows off your turkey neck and makes you look old.... and you really should try some concealer on those dark circles under your eyes.

Just a thoughtm
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Old 07-08-2013, 03:02 PM   #5
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Oh, believe me when I say that I let people know when their comments are unwelcome. It's just that all of a sudden, this is an issue that keeps popping up and from more than one person. I swear that I feel like I'm playing a real life game of whack-a-mole right now. "No, I don't wear sleeveless!" Whack! "Please stop bugging me about this, I don't wear sleeveless!" Whack! "Would you shut the H up about this? I DON'T WEAR SLEEVELESS!" WHACK!

Response from bugger: "Oh, but you'd look so cute in that dres..." WHACK, WHACK, WHACK, WHACK!!!!!!
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Old 07-08-2013, 03:15 PM   #6
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I hear that too.

I have never worn sleeveless shirts or shorts above just above my knee. Even when I was a size 8. It has less to do with my size and more to do with my comfort level.

I am the same in a bathing suit. Skirts and shorts with a rash guard less to sunscreen and burn. I even have long sleeve rash guards now and love them.

You are not alone.
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Old 07-08-2013, 04:39 PM   #7
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Old 07-08-2013, 05:12 PM   #8
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I could have written this exact post!!! Except mine is short(er) skirts.

I bought a dress Saturday when shopping with my sister. I felt like it was too short. Now, this wasn't even shorter than half-way between my crotch and knees, but anything above that sport RIGHT above my knees feels "too short" for me.

I bought it because she insisted it was fine. And she encouraged me to push my comfort level "just a little bit" to "open up my clothing options." "You look normal now" she told me.

Well, I wore it that night out to eat with 2 other couples and was self-conscious the entire time. I'm returning that dress. I'm happy Kohls has a great return policy.

Moral of the story- don't buy clothes you don't love. Why spend the money?

Good for you for speaking up for yourself!
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Old 07-08-2013, 05:23 PM   #9
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I totally get this.

When I was younger, probably 11 or 12, I wore shorts to my friend's house. I was probably considered to be a "solid" weight at this time, not as chubby as I'd been a year before. My friend's mother asked me what I had been doing. I said riding my bike, that's all? She asked why I had an arch of dirt above each knee. She tried wiping it off, and it was just my skin being a little discolored or bunched up there or something. Guess what? I made it my goal to never show my knees in public again. Eventually that became unrealistic, but I became known for always wearing pants, I got flak for years and years and years for not wearing shorts and shorter skirts.
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Old 07-08-2013, 05:38 PM   #10
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I understand completely.

Since I hit goal, I've become everyone's favorite dress up doll. I keep hearing "you're skinny now!! You can wear this!!"

Just because I CAN wear it doesn't mean I want to.
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Old 07-08-2013, 11:37 PM   #11
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I'm starting to get that a little...and what irks me is that no one dared say anything about what I wore when I weighed over 300 lbs, but now that people know I'm losing weight I get all sorts of unwelcomed advise.

I don't so much get the "you should" as the "can't you wait until you're skinny so you can wear A, B, or C?" I find it tiresome.

I also get comments on how I went from going weeks without wearing the same thing to "Didn't you just wear that last week?" I've lost almost 60 lbs. people - and I can't afford to buy new clothes every time I drop a size! I'm making due with what I have - why has my life become so fascinating all of the sudden?

Or I get remarks about how things are too big for me...I know it's too big for me...I have limited options right now...leave me alone.

Gee...I guess I'm feeling a little annoyed too...this is a great topic!
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Old 07-09-2013, 12:49 AM   #12
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OK I have to post....Just because I love Hyacinth's avatar!

You guys must be "young" and surrounded by other females a lot. I really cannot relate. (Wish I could.) When you look like me and ol' Hyacinth, you would take encouragement to wear sleeveless as a royal compliment. A compliment that you would relate to every poor salesman who rings your pearl-white slim-line push-button digital telephone with automatic last-number redial. You would feast on that compliment for a good three months.....if you were me and ol' Hyacinth, that is.

So think of me and ol' Hyacinth when you turn those "compliments" around. "Sleeveless!?! And give the all men in this county a look at these guns? They'd be drooling so much--the CDC would be called in to investigate a new rabies epidemic in these here parts! I can't do that to the CDC! These ManMagnets cannot be revealed!" And then brag to the next girl about the compliment you just received, and the next girl, and the next girl...

Oh what fun! How I wish I had that problem! If I did wear sleeveless, you would be hearing all the folks around here screamin' for me to cover up! Guar-an-teed!

No, I'm not crazy:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...e-bit-arm.html

Go figure.

Right to bare arms (or not). Haha! You Go Girls!!! You're obviously rockin' the weight loss!!!!
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Old 07-09-2013, 09:56 AM   #13
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LOL! Well, I'm not young. I will be turning 50 this year. But you know what? I am rockin' the weight loss gig. *big grin* Thanks for that, SeeMyFeet, you made me smile.
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Old 07-09-2013, 01:25 PM   #14
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@Seemyfeet - Right to bare arms,

I don't get a lot of advice on what to wear, but I get a lot of advice on what diet trick should work for me! Oh, I should try Weight Watchers? I did, in 1991 and in 1995. In fact, I am pretty sure I have done them all. Let me tell you about my 20 years of disordered eating behaviors. ha ha
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Old 07-09-2013, 01:56 PM   #15
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People love giving their advice and opinions. This site wouldn't be here if we didn't. Some people have lots of opinions, some have only a few. Some are talented at sharing without coming across as pushy, others try to sell or force theirs onto others. Some have difficulty differentiating between opinion and incontrovertible fact.

Broken-record opinions can get tiresome, especially when they're not our own, but I think it helps to know that we all do this. For every opinion we're tired of hearing, there's someone sick of hearing what WE have to say.
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