I have spent the last 2-3 years frustrated with my weight, but unwilling to make changes (insanity!) so in vicious cycles of gaining and losing over and over. Now I am over my old high weight from 15 years ago. Why it had to get this out of control, I cannot explain. But I do know that when the calendar said June 1st and I decided to weigh myself and was 300 pounds something felt like it died inside of me. I never thought I would get to this point. In the past I have been that "healthy fat person"! (What a joke!) Now my feet hurt, my back hurts, I have had to start bp meds, I hate how my body looks. Anyways, on that same day I became good and ready to make changes - sick and tired of being fat. I did this to myself and only I can fix me. I am responsible for what goes into my mouth. I have been counting calories and eating low carb and lost a lot of weight in the last 2 weeks. It will slow down though.
I read an excerpt recently that went like this: It is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Giving up heroin is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You won’t get any coddling, and you won’t get any sympathy for your “struggles”... Not that I drink my coffee black, but you get the spirit behind the words! I will have the self-respect and will-power to see this thing through. There will be days I don't feel like doing the right thing but I need to remember that my feelings are what got me into this mess. I am an emotional eater and the truth is that those feelings in the past that said food would fill the need were liars.
Happy to be back at 3FC and looking forward to getting to know many of you and getting and giving support.
-Nora
P.S. I am hungry for the first time in a couple years! Seriously, I had forgotten what physical hunger felt like.