Many of you know I help run weekly weight loss meetings. It's a good, supportive group overall, and it's been a big help to not only do my official weigh-in for accountability, but to meet up with others to share struggles with those that can relate, and as a huge stepping stone for me socially after an especially difficult bout with GAD.
Lately I've been getting a sense of animosity from a small percentage of the members. I've worked very hard and it's paying off, and I think it's making some uncomfortable.
I do know a lot of members are happy for me.
Some are eager for tips, some shower me with compliments, some just smile and seem genuinely happy for me. There are a few that throw out back-handed compliments, act like I have some kind of unfair advantage, or belittle my methods and try to tell me I'm doing it all wrong, but that's few and far-between. I do my very best to be helpful and supportive with everyone as one of the leaders.
Then I got pregnant.
Mind you, I haven't been pregnant very long. And given that I'm an apple, I've always had this belly that just sticks out. Even with as much weight as I've lost, I've only just recently been able to say my stomach measurement is smaller than my bust (consider the fact that I wear an H/I cup, my stomach has to be pretty damned significant with just a one one inch difference).
So yeah, I've looked pregnant for far much longer than I actually have been.
So why is it that so many think it's okay to comment on my belly now? They know
I'm not far enough along to show, and given the nature of our meetings also know that I haven't even gained in the past month. I also haven't grown so much as a quarter of an inch anywhere since becoming pregnant; I know my belly is inevitably going to grow but it's already admittedly sticking out so what's currently showing is nothing but fat! Does anyone really need to draw attention to the part of my body that I've always been the most sensitive and self-conscious about? I'll be more than happy to sport my pregnant belly once I'm actually far enough enough along to do so, but right now it feels more like some are using it as an excuse to comment on my body.
Last week a member that's never said anything remotely negative toward me made a snide remark about how I should learn to dress better, because my top made me look "too pregnant." Later on in the eventing some of us had gone out to dinner, and when my plate arrived another member remarked with an attitude, "You're pregnant, you need to learn how to eat some fat!" Another looked over my food and added, "You're eating for two now, so you really should have heavier meals." I informed them that the baby is no bigger than a kidney bean and being pregnant is no excuse to eat mounds of crap (for the record I have added calories to my plan am concentrating on healthy meals with healthy fat). Another said I shouldn't listen to whatever my doctor says and that I should eat and gain as much as I can, it's good for the baby! And due to various other comments I'm getting the impression that some are smug about the fact that I won't be able to focus on losing weight for at least another year. I'm all for bringing a healthy baby into the world and will work closely on my diet and exercise regimen with my doctor.
Anyway, my favorite incident happened at this week's meeting with a member that's always had an attitude with me.
Member: "Oh Karen, look at your pregnant belly sticking out!"
Me: "I'm not even 9 weeks. I'm not showing yet. My waist measurement hasn't even changed."
Member: "Oh, don't worry, I started showing early too!"
Seriously? Was she even listening or was she more eager to be able gloat over me having a belly now that there's an excuse to point it out? The very same lady told me that it's "normal" to gain 60-90 pounds during a pregnancy a few weeks back .
I'm sure I'm all hormonal and irritable right now, and I do understand that people generally like to gush over baby bumps, but come on . . . at least wait until I actually have a baby bump to gush over! I'll even join in with you! If it were strangers finding out I was pregnant and commenting on my "bump," I'd be alright with that. But I've yet to look any different than I did shortly before I was pregnant, and these ladies have known me for years when I was at a much higher weight and should really know better. What gives?
Ok, I feel a little better after getting all that out.