I think learning to develop a relationship with my body was key for me, which was a very slow process in the past year. It started with accepting myself as I already was and concentrating on developing healthy new habits, as opposed to restricting and punishing myself for feeling fat/ugly/worthless. Each adoption of a healthy new habit has freed me from old ways of thinking, from the criticism of others, and into new ways of seeing, feeling, and believing. I now love things that used to intimidate me, and have learned to let go of attachments to certain hurtful objects, habits, and situations. And in general, I think I've become a much more positive person; I've realized I can be whatever I want to be when I'm willing to work at it. I'm still working on much of this but am continuing to make progress.
I don't think any one thing did this for me, unless you count the day I realized I couldn't let myself spiral out of control anymore and that I was the only one that had the power to change things. That in itself was sheer will; the rest was hard work and a cumulative effort that has added up into something that has let me see my life in a new light.
Good luck with your search.
I'm guessing you're already halfway there without even realizing it.
I want to find this....
