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how do you motivate yourself when you've failed so many times

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Old 04-19-2013, 01:17 PM   #1
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Default how do you motivate yourself when you've failed so many times

I've been a member here off and on for over ten years. I've lost 60 lbs, gained it back (plus about twenty more) and then lost the same 5-20 lbs over and over again for years.

I want to try again. I want to really do it this time. I am just so scared of failing yet again.

How do you put all the negative talk of "why bother-you'll never get there" out of your head and just concentrate on your goal? When you are on track, and then go off and keep sliding into that "I don't give a crap" abyss, what keeps you from sinking back into that place?

Thanks!
Sherry
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Old 04-19-2013, 01:22 PM   #2
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I read the success stories, the NSV threads, and keep telling myself I'm only concerned with today, it's one day at a time.

Something clicked with me this time around. I never want to have to start again, I never want to have the dreaded feeling of putting the weight back on again, I don't want to have blood tests get worse now that they are better.

I made myself a list of pros and cons that I read once in a while. One is if I don't lose the weight, the other is if I do. Maybe you can do something like that.

Good luck!!
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Old 04-19-2013, 01:23 PM   #3
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I've lost an regained weight for years! I honestly have no idea what makes me think it'll stick this time. I don't even know if it will, but I'm sure going to try and see if it does!
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Old 04-19-2013, 01:35 PM   #4
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Thank you both for taking the time to post-great ideas!

You are both doing great-it is very inspiring.

Missy-I love your avatar. I am a Snoopy fanatic

Sherry
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Old 04-19-2013, 01:56 PM   #5
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I hope it is ok for me to post here....but for me it is more a matter of being healthier, rather than thinner. So even if I'm struggling to lose weight, or if I gained it all back and have to lose it all over again (where I am now) each day you follow your plan you are becoming healthier. There is no "there" to get to...the point is how you live each day. That's how I saty motivated.
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Old 04-19-2013, 01:59 PM   #6
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Thank you, Monte Cristo. That is a wonderful frame of thought to keep me on track. I have to stop focusing on the scale, and think of all the other benefits of weight loss instead.

Sherry
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Old 04-19-2013, 03:06 PM   #7
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I know what you mean. It's hard! Here are some things I do to motivate myself. I think about all the things that I want to do that I can't do. I look at certain people I know that are older than me and have many issues because of their weight. I see my future when I look at them. I look at my grandchildren and feel the desire to do things with them. I picture what they will look like when they graduate high school and college and feel the desire to be there. Sometimes I make list of all those things. I also look at the success stories here and with the Joy Fit club.

Keep trying!! It will click with one of these tries.
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Old 04-19-2013, 03:33 PM   #8
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Oh, been there, dieted my way up to 212lbs, couldn't fit into the t-shirt

Can I say something that'll sound like a load of new-age nonsense?

Every time I failed, I was trying to apply a diet to my life from outside myself, to fix myself. This time, I've changed my lifestyle in accordance with who I am on the INSIDE. I'm not doing it TO love myself, I'm doing it BECAUSE I do It's hard to explain properly, but... I'm sure this is why it's working this time, and I'm still happy because I'm not trying to shape myself into something I'm not any more.

One thing's for sure: if you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got. I used to panic diet, telling me willpower would be enough to MAKE me do it. It wasn't, as proved by my regains.

Start off thinking about what you love Activities, foods, your mindset, everything. How do you approach problems, say, at work? Find something that fits your temperament, and do not panic! Bad decisions are made whilst under stress. Don't subscribe to the "no excuses" or "every little helps" ways of thinking (for example) if that's not who you are. If you're more a "I don't want exercise to feel like exercise", then take dancing lessons instead of a gym membership, or something. If you can practice moderation, use that. If you find it too hard, another approach might work better.

Long winded, I know, sorry... It's just the one thing I never GOT about it before. Use as many of your personal strengths as you can, and account for your weaknesses, instead of just taking a diet out of the box and expecting it to fit. I did that for tooooo long

Wherever you end up, I wish you the best of luck
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Old 04-19-2013, 03:34 PM   #9
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Lots of good ideas, I concur with the "there's no THERE" You're never 'done' it's just the way you live now. So if you're never done you can't stop, if you get what I mean lol

I know with ME, I'd half-heartedly lost the same 15 pounds a dozen pounds. I'd never had any BIG success and was curious as to why. I went and talked to someone, talked a few issues out, got my head set on straight and DID it. I didn't say "I'm going to TRY to lose weight" I said "I'm getting this weight off me"

I focused a lot on LIVING LONGER, I didn't want to be some idiot who drops dead at 60 because I was morbidly obese for so long. A bullet to the head is a quicker less painful death. Fitting into clothes etc., is nice and all but not my main focus in the slightest. Being strong and feeling like I've turned things around health-wise, and that I might stick around a lot longer - that's the stuff that motivates me to keep on truckin!
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Old 04-19-2013, 03:49 PM   #10
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I started Ideal protein diet and have an Awesome coach that has my back.

I am only allowing myself to concentrate on being positive.

I don't allow myself to wallow in past failures as excuses .

Failure is not an option!
I come here to the boards to increase my resolve and stay moving in the right direction.
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Old 04-19-2013, 03:51 PM   #11
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I imagine my better future if I lost weight.
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Going back to my old weight.

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Old 04-19-2013, 03:56 PM   #12
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I don't take it as failure, but not knowing how to live the life I need to live yet. Each and every time I've had a regain I learned something from it. I've learned what my triggers are. What foods work for me, etc.

You still need to figure that out.

I'm not a maintainer (yet) and I've yo-yo'ed 20-25 pounds the entire last year, but I didn't gain back over 80 pounds I had lost. I never, ever said, "What the heck - I give up".

I got rid of that mentality. I cannot give up.

So, learn... re-evaluate yourself - really get introspective and keep support around you. It's not easy - ever and I think that's the beginning of understanding. You cannot just give up.

My triggers are lack of exercise. Lack of sleep. Too many carbs. When those are in order, my goodness it's a heck of a lot easier! Those get out of whack? And I'm in big trouble and the likelihood of me overeating is high.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:06 PM   #13
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I tell myself that time is ticking by whether or not I stick to my diet and then I ask myself where do I want to be in 3 months, 6 months and 1 year. I can look up and wish that I had started or I can be well on my way. The past is dead...no point beating up on myself over something I can't change.

And to me, failure is giving up. Sometimes it takes many many attempts before we get to the time that sticks. All you need is that one time to click into place. The previous attempts were test runs.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:12 PM   #14
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If you say this "why bother-you'll never get there" , you will trully never get there.
If you say "I'll keep on trying till one day I get there" maybe you will actually get there, even if it takes you months, years, decades.
At least, that's what I hope will happen.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:16 PM   #15
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I completely get where you're coming from with fear of failure because I was sabotaging myself with that fear for years. The truth is simple, if you stick to your plan, you WILL succeed. We have to stop telling ourselves that we can't do things that we absolutely can do.
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