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Old 03-30-2013, 04:19 AM   #1
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How much does your final goal weight drive you?

This time instead of having a goal weight at the end of my ticker, I've been concentrating on putting mini-goals only at the end of my ticker. This way it always looks like I've achieved more than I have to go!!

But also I'm not sure what my final goal weight should be. I look at what I put on my profile -155 - and I think already I don't want to go that low any time soon - even though this is in the 'overweight' BMI . (This was also derived from doing the Dukan questionnaire) My personal trainer is teeny-tiny, smaller frame than I have but a bit taller and she weighs 74kg - about 163.

I'm also struggling with the whole concept of final goal weights. I'm doing intuitive eating. It's really working for me, I'm losing weight. But more importantly it's creating a better relationship with food in general. Part of IE though is accepting that your weight will settle where it should as long as you follow the approach. I know the mini-goals are really helping me stay focused and on track for now... But just wondering how much final goal weights are driving others?
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Old 03-30-2013, 05:10 AM   #2
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Well for me, my initial goal was 165, a weight I couldn't even begin to imagine getting to (I weighed like 87kg, over 200 lbs by the time I was 11 years old and my weight NEVER went below that). I dreamt of ending up a UK16 (US 12) as I thought those sizes were TINY! All I wanted was to be able to shop in normal stores etc. But when I got there, I realized that those sizes didn't seem as small anymore, and I really wasn't anywhere near where I wanted to be body-wise. It wasn't till I was in the 180s that I saw that 165 would still not be where I wanted to be body wise. For reference, at 180 lbs (I was in a UK size 16 top, size 14 bottoms/US size 12 top, size 10 bottoms) and even though I looked fine, I wasn't in anyway slim. I was... maybe pleasantly plump? I still didn't feel like 20 pounds was going to make the difference and had already started considering that I might have to reduce my goal.

And that's what I'm trying to say. I think setting mini goals the way you are is the best way to go. You can't really know how you're going to feel and look at a a given weight now till you get there. And you can't necessarily also judge by the way someone else (even the same height) looks at your weight. Just keep going and making readjustments as you go till you're happy.

I'm at a happy weight now in the mid-150s even though I'm trying to get down to 140 just to see what it feels like to be actively slim. Right now I'm a UK 10/12 (US 6/8, sometimes even 4 in the best vanity sized clothes). But I'm not that serious about the 140 goal... Sometimes I think I just have it so I don't get bored and therefore keep striving for something. I think you're going about things the right way. Keep setting and readjusting your goals.
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Old 03-30-2013, 09:34 PM   #3
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When I look at the big goal/end goal it seems too big, too much to lose, so its discourages me, at least it has in the past. This time, while I know where I want to end up, I'm planning on just going by mini goals and then telling myself I'm awesome when I get to them. Plus side of that is that it gives me even more reasons to tell myself how amazing I am.
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Old 03-30-2013, 10:23 PM   #4
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I only have a vague idea about what goal weight I want to be. I have no idea what weight will feel right for me, since I've always been at least somewhat overweight, so I'm not really driven by any ultimate goal at all. I guess I'll work that out as I get nearer. Mini goals are more my thing at the moment. My scale weighs in stones/pounds, so my goal always tends to be to see it drop below the next 7lbs, i.e 20st, 19st 7lbs, 19st, etc.

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Old 03-30-2013, 10:31 PM   #5
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I haven't thought about goal yet. It's all about minis for me. It's a marathon and not a sprint.
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Old 03-31-2013, 12:29 AM   #6
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I started with a goal of 175. Somewhere around 200, I moved it down to 165. I have never been as small as I am now, so it's all new to me. I have no idea what I will look like at 165, but I want to make it to 100 lbs lost and we'll see where it goes from there.
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Old 03-31-2013, 12:35 AM   #7
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I like my ultimate goal number (145) because it is exactly 100 pounds from my highest known weight, it's well within the healthy range for my height and my lowest known weight of 155 was not exactly what I wanted. I'm flexible on it though, I know that the closer I get to that number, my focus will shift to fitness goals rather than pound goals. Ultimately, being 145 is only moderately driving me at this point.
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Old 03-31-2013, 02:12 AM   #8
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My original goal was 150 for a long time because that was the weight I felt really good, even sexy... However, at this weight right now, being realistic, I realize my body is going to look very different from the pre-230 150lb me with all the skin and stretch marks. I know that 150lbs is still overweight for my height (although I don't put much stock in the bmi stuff) so I guess I decided to go with the highest weight for my height. 135 is (still) a scary concept that I cannot wrap my head around as I've never been that weight as an adult nor do I know what that will look like on me.

Lots of self-doubt talk- "How will I even try to maintain 135 let alone 150?", "You'll look too skinny, maybe even sick at that weight." and other crap going through my head whenever I think about being 135lbs so I set up some mini-goals to try to keep my focus/thoughts away from the final and the mind-game crap at bay but that isn't working as much anymore as I know I am getting closer and closer.

TL;DR- 150 is what I'm driving for right now but I may change my mind when I get there and get down to 135 or whatever number I feel happy with overall.
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Old 03-31-2013, 02:43 AM   #9
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Amandie, you bring up a really good point. I am scared to go too low with my goal because I don't want to be at a weight where I am driving myself crazy trying to maintain. I feel like that will lead to throwing my hands up in frustration and eating my way back up to where I started...
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Milestones:
Started - 12/25/11 at 265 lbs.
ONEderland - 2/16/13 at 199 lbs.
Goal - Normal BMI! - 7/17/13 at 155 lbs.
Refocus - 1/29/15 - 185 lbs.



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Old 03-31-2013, 03:35 AM   #10
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I feel if I don't go for it what was the point in All this sacrifice !
So I put the push the pedal to the floor and floor it!!

I just would never have put myself thru this...if Iwas not willing to return to my former self. That's just me.
I'm an all or nothing girl.
I was in another lifetime called skinny!
I have been called fat ...but I have never been called average ...Sooo I continue on.
All this hard work and effort was not going to wasted on a slight improvement.

Even our family Doctor is in Awe how much weight I lost.
Not everyone has to or needs to be as driven as I am about my weight.

There was no good reason I allowed myself to gain all this weight ...and I definitely would not have wanted to spend eternity in a Big Boy Coffin!

Know that's a little morbid but ...the mind sometimes ponders things that are scary.
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:24 AM   #11
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I still have no idea where my final number will be. I know that when I got to 198 two years ago, I wasn't even close to happy with where I was. So I know that I will want to definitely go lower than that, but no idea how much lower I'll need to go to feel like I am where I want to be, or how hard it might be, and that will be a factor too. If I'm doing everything right on my plan and not losing, then I will want to assess whether it's time to move into the next phase and work on maintenance. I'd rather do that than give up completely, which is what I'm prone to do.
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:31 AM   #12
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I think about my goal weight every single day of my life now. Except I have no idea what that goal weight will be!

At first I just wanted to get to 199 (and am still inch-worming my way there) and after that party, I'm going to try so hard to get to 175.

I was about 159 when I had just started dating my husband about 18 years ago and thought I was so large (I was a bit lighter, just not sure what). I actually have a pair of jeans from back then that I recently found and can't even get them past my knees. If I ever wear them again, it will mean I am skin and bones I think!

I'm so glad none of us are alone in this.
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Old 03-31-2013, 11:10 AM   #13
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I've never been thin or even average so that doesn't really drive me. I've no idea what I would look like or feel like if I got down to what I am told should be my ideal weight, so I can't really use that as a goal, because I can't see it in my head. Its like setting out on a journey but having no map just a fog, it's too amorphous.

But I do want to have awesome clothes and I do want to wear awesome shoes (and be able to balance in them). I wanna be able to find an amazing dress to wear to family weddings and parties and just whenever (Halloween for instance). I want to be able to shop somewhere other than Evans. So I've worked out a dress size I want to be (UK18) and I've spoken to people who were or are that size, found out their weight, compared it to research online and that is what my ultimate goal at the moment will be. And when I get there, I'll reassess.

But day to day, month to month, I'm going with smaller increments. They're less scary.
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Old 03-31-2013, 11:13 AM   #14
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My goal is to be in the middle of the healthy weight on the BMI chart - I've never been there in my entire life so I just want to experience it and see what I think.

To be honest right now just living under 200lbs will be just dandy though and a huge improvement!!
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Old 03-31-2013, 11:30 AM   #15
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I have no idea where I want to end up. I have been overweight almost my entire life. The lowest weight I can remember was 169 and I was probably 15years old. My focus for now is getting to under 200 lbs, and then I'll go from there. To be completely honest, I don't see myself ever getting to the 130's or 140's even though that's where I would be "normal" with my height, and I'm okay with that. Wherever I end up will be lower than where I started, and I'll count it as a success!
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