I don't want my kids to remember...

  • The obese me. The blob of a mother my oldest daughter had for the first 14 months of her life. It is documented though, in photographs and a video that she LOVES to watch of herself. It is a constant reminder every time she puts the video in of herself as a baby. It does also show me along the weight loss journey as she celebrated her 2nd birthday, 2nd Christmas, etc., I start to look good. She is turning 4 Wednesday, so right now she doesn't notice the physical, but I'm sure one day she's going to say, "Gee Mom, you were HUGE!!!"

    Anyways, I was thinking about this when I was changing my 2nd daughter's diaper the other day (she is 5 months old). I looked down at her and thought, "I never want you to remember having an obese Mom". I know I'm never going back to where I was, I'm different now and did this to be around for my girls, but man, part of me wants to delete myself out of the first year of my eldest's life. I know I should be proud of the changes I made, that I'm healthy now, but I don't know how to get past the past, I suppose.

    Thanks for letting me vent here...
  • Thank you for your very thoughtful and emotional post.

    The reason I started this journey this year was because DH and I want to start trying for a family next year. I decided that I wanted to be the healthiest I POSSIBLY could be. I want to give my children the best start possible.

    I just learned that it takes 120 days to develop a mature egg in the follicle. So a lot of the things that you do nutritionally can effect that process. I'm trying my best so that my future children have the healthiest mom I can become.
  • Actually, keeping it there will probably help your daughter one day. She will struggle with something (as we all do) and she will realize you struggled with something too. It will make you more human, more real. And she will be proud of you for making the changes and doing it for them so that they would have a healthy mom and be a role model of a healthy mom.

    Having a perfect mom for a specimen can be quite an intimidating thing. A mom with some flaws that she overcame and is open about (not hiding the imperfections) is a more approachable mom. And with that, perhaps they will be more comfortable coming to you for support when they need it.
  • Quote: Actually, keeping it there will probably help your daughter one day. She will struggle with something (as we all do) and she will realize you struggled with something too. It will make you more human, more real. And she will be proud of you for making the changes and doing it for them so that they would have a healthy mom and be a role model of a healthy mom.

    Having a perfect mom for a specimen can be quite an intimidating thing. A mom with some flaws that she overcame and is open about (not hiding the imperfections) is a more approachable mom. And with that, perhaps they will be more comfortable coming to you for support when they need it.
    I love this! I have a daughter that will be 4 next month and I want to be around a long time for her. (I also would like to have another child..) Anyway, I would never let my husband take pictures of me because I really disliked the way I looked. He made a great point that my daughter would love to have pictures of us together and just pictures of me. This is true so I do allow pictures now. I really want to set a good example for her and show her you can overcome any obstacles you may have.
  • Berry, you are so right!
  • I agree you are setting a positive role model for your daughters. As someone else said, she will have her own struggles and you can show her that you understand and have overcome some of your own! Keep up the good work... I'm betting your daughters will be proud of you!!