I don't want my kids to remember...
The obese me. The blob of a mother my oldest daughter had for the first 14 months of her life. It is documented though, in photographs and a video that she LOVES to watch of herself. It is a constant reminder every time she puts the video in of herself as a baby. It does also show me along the weight loss journey as she celebrated her 2nd birthday, 2nd Christmas, etc., I start to look good. She is turning 4 Wednesday, so right now she doesn't notice the physical, but I'm sure one day she's going to say, "Gee Mom, you were HUGE!!!"
Anyways, I was thinking about this when I was changing my 2nd daughter's diaper the other day (she is 5 months old). I looked down at her and thought, "I never want you to remember having an obese Mom". I know I'm never going back to where I was, I'm different now and did this to be around for my girls, but man, part of me wants to delete myself out of the first year of my eldest's life. I know I should be proud of the changes I made, that I'm healthy now, but I don't know how to get past the past, I suppose.
Thanks for letting me vent here...